The basic idea of renting out a club for Sterling's birthday has a lot of potential, although Brenna probably wouldn't invite some of those people.
The gloryhole trick is kind of unoriginal, and it wastes the setup of renting out the club, i.e. they could literally have sex on a stage. Maybe they plan some kind of kinky sex show with Sterling as the star, but thanks to blindfolds and/or drugs the wrong people end up having sex?
Even in What Ifs, the characters should act consistently with what we know about them. And events should follow cause and effect, not just be "and then, and then, and then".