- Mar 3, 2018
- 289
- 1,363
Thank you john1124, I really work very hard and spend a lot of time on it. I really appreciate the acknowledgement.
- Thread starter 7767
- Start date
- Jan 13, 2018
- 1,417
- 6,128
I am not convinced the decisions she makes actually "do" anything, and she becomes a slut pretty easily, but I really wish there were more to the story and that the decisions had a bit more impact. I also hate that you can't chose to not do drugs, although it is possible choices early in the game lead to the later episodes.
Admittedly, it is a visual novel and not really a game and there is plenty of fapping material. I am surprised at the amount of content for it being so early on in the development.
It's worth a spin.
Admittedly, it is a visual novel and not really a game and there is plenty of fapping material. I am surprised at the amount of content for it being so early on in the development.
It's worth a spin.
Just finished edging my way through this update.......
I love this game.... This is the perfect female mc game for me.... I would become a patreon if i had money ....the female mc is awesome.....i love reading her inner thoughts while she is in lewd situations..... She has emotions and is self conscious in a pretty realistic way.....
Its like she is ur avg hot open minded teenage girl with self-esteem and a healthy sexual(anal) appetite..... but some horny asshole is whispering voices in her head that makes her take decisions that will slowly turn her into a nymphomaniac and be an object of pleasure for the lecherous society.
I was initially not a fan of her skinny body but its growing on me..... I like her hour glass shape and she is fleshy at the right spots.
I'd like to offer a few ideas to improve ......
1) Her dancing : I dont find her dancing moves stimulating at all..... Its like a completely non sexual fun dance.... She just moves her legs and torso around....
I think it'd be better if you make her dance moves more sensual.... Like focusing on hips and butt movements.Just a suggestion
2)Other slut female npcs: The inclusion of the the other classroom slut who was being groped when the mc first entered the class greatly reduces the taboo of our mc's exhibitionism.
I see the main festish of this game is corruption and degradation of the mc and i think your vision is to make every penis in town have a tase of atleast her anus.... and some more.
But the existence of other similar sluts will greatly normalize her lewd acts like gangbang, exhibition etc... Am totally cool with the curvy girl who competed for the job and beach contest tho.
I hope u continue ur awesome work and do it the way u want.... Waiting eagerly for the next version
P. S: Yo paperwork..... Is there any chance that you are... planning /may consider.... Bestiality in the future??
I love this game.... This is the perfect female mc game for me.... I would become a patreon if i had money ....the female mc is awesome.....i love reading her inner thoughts while she is in lewd situations..... She has emotions and is self conscious in a pretty realistic way.....
Its like she is ur avg hot open minded teenage girl with self-esteem and a healthy sexual(anal) appetite..... but some horny asshole is whispering voices in her head that makes her take decisions that will slowly turn her into a nymphomaniac and be an object of pleasure for the lecherous society.
I was initially not a fan of her skinny body but its growing on me..... I like her hour glass shape and she is fleshy at the right spots.
I'd like to offer a few ideas to improve ......
1) Her dancing : I dont find her dancing moves stimulating at all..... Its like a completely non sexual fun dance.... She just moves her legs and torso around....
I think it'd be better if you make her dance moves more sensual.... Like focusing on hips and butt movements.Just a suggestion
2)Other slut female npcs: The inclusion of the the other classroom slut who was being groped when the mc first entered the class greatly reduces the taboo of our mc's exhibitionism.
I see the main festish of this game is corruption and degradation of the mc and i think your vision is to make every penis in town have a tase of atleast her anus.... and some more.
But the existence of other similar sluts will greatly normalize her lewd acts like gangbang, exhibition etc... Am totally cool with the curvy girl who competed for the job and beach contest tho.
I hope u continue ur awesome work and do it the way u want.... Waiting eagerly for the next version
P. S: Yo paperwork..... Is there any chance that you are... planning /may consider.... Bestiality in the future??
- Apr 22, 2017
- 1,065
- 1,692
- Mar 3, 2018
- 289
- 1,363
@qwagrah I'll remember your words next time I do a dance scene (the one in the next update is already done). Your opinions on her personality reflects exactly what I was trying to do. I would like to include bestiality as a minor activity (MC would want to try that 
), but in the short term I don't have plans for it (Honestly, I don't know if I can do it with HS, I have to check it out). Thank you for sharing your opinions
@Geekbone The choices will start to matter. I always thought the first versions as an intro and a time to allow myself to learn the softwares I'm using and writing.
), but in the short term I don't have plans for it (Honestly, I don't know if I can do it with HS, I have to check it out). Thank you for sharing your opinions @Geekbone The choices will start to matter. I always thought the first versions as an intro and a time to allow myself to learn the softwares I'm using and writing.
Cheers! :-D@qwagrah I'll remember your words next time I do a dance scene (the one in the next update is already done). Your opinions on her personality reflects exactly what I was trying to do. I would like to include bestiality as a minor activity (MC would want to try that
@Geekbone The choices will start to matter. I always thought the first versions as an intro and a time to allow myself to learn the softwares I'm using and writing.
- Apr 14, 2018
- 692
- 35,199
- Apr 26, 2017
- 1,061
- 2,260
- May 22, 2017
- 1,459
- 5,713
This has a lot of potential, but it falls into some usual traps for these kinds of games/VN.
I love that the protag is a girl who is curious and willing and it comes to sex and she choses, sometimes what and with whom she'll do things. I like the looks too, I think the girl looks a bit skinny for my taste but I appreciate that she at least isn't too generic either.
I hate that nobody has a distinct personality, including the MC. I mean, by the end of this version. There was a lot of (repetitive) sex scenes and I know next to nothing about anybody, that rubs me the wrong way. Also, while the MC seems to like sex from the get go and have some agency... it still feels like veryone is takign advantage of her and that's just sad.
I love that the protag is a girl who is curious and willing and it comes to sex and she choses, sometimes what and with whom she'll do things. I like the looks too, I think the girl looks a bit skinny for my taste but I appreciate that she at least isn't too generic either.
I hate that nobody has a distinct personality, including the MC. I mean, by the end of this version. There was a lot of (repetitive) sex scenes and I know next to nothing about anybody, that rubs me the wrong way. Also, while the MC seems to like sex from the get go and have some agency... it still feels like veryone is takign advantage of her and that's just sad.
Really liked this one, it has much potential. Good setting, likeable characters(some, at least) and funny interactions. However I must that the MC Estelle Bright-like hair is kinda awkward in a 3D model, it makes her looks like an old porn actress trying to look like a teenager in some cheap porn movie. It won't keep me from playing, but I think it would be nice if it was given an option to choose between others hairstyles.
@paperwork
I liked the game in general, or at least the idea and the potential that is has. I feel that you are actually trying to put out content and not just streching the story without any development, and that's great.
I do have some gripes with the game though:
- There's little player agency (the choices we make almost don't matter). For example, on the beach, you can avoid sucking the cop's dick, but then with the principal, the game always asumes you did sucked dick, and the principal will be your second one, which was a bit weird imo.
Also, sometimes the game presents you with an option, but the result is the same outcome, and it doesn't appear that it has any impact on the character whatsoever.
- I feel that the corruption/degradation happens too fast, one minute she's enjoying sex with Hank and the next she's getting gangbang without any problems. I think this also comes back to player agency, where the game kinda streamlines you into scenes without you having much say in them.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good female corruption game, but I feel there's too much of a gap between starting to get corrupted and becoming a full blown slut (from a narrative point of view).
-In that same line, I also expected a bit more contend with the guys closer to her (the bros, the neighbour, etc) before going into full gang bang mode. And then she still acts doubtful around Matt even after the gang-bang and having already done it once with him, so I feel the chracter progression is kinda off.
-For example I liked the Hank scenes, because they felt a bit more organic, even if when she decides to fuck Gary it made sense because of how the scene went, but after that you get streamlined into letting everyone fucks her almost. I know you have some choices where you can opt out, but I feel they are not well presented because even if you refuse to do something on once scene, she will still be a slut on the next.
I know these might feel like I'm criticizing too much, but it's because I feel the game has a lot of potential to become a great one and I really enjoyed the renders and many of the scenes (the gang-bang not so much, partly because I don't normally enjoy the stereotypical black gang-bang, but mainly because of what I mentioned before, no agency and a bit too rushed in terms of progression, the renders and the scene in general was well done render wise and sutty wise, but it felt too soon, with player having no control over it).
Also, I got a weird bug that, after trying out clothes and dacing, if you refused to strip on the last outfit, the game would skip the beach images with the "bros" andjump straight into the cops scene, but these would have no background at all, just the characters.
Oh yeah, what does the "arousal" metter actually do? at first I though it would impact some choices, since it went up on the first day and after mastubating it went to 0. But then it only got filled a little a coupleof times and then none at all.
So, my only guess atm would that it's a progression to when she's going to lose her pussy virginity, but even then it doesn't really add much to the game. Will it have some impact ?
Same with the phone, it feels that it's just there and doesn't do anything functionally.
Maybe you wanted to make something like a sandbox kinda game at first but then decided for a more linear story?
Anyway, some of my comments might be kind of nitpicking, but I do feel that you can improve the game way more if you took a bit of time to look at the story/character progression and player agency.
I liked the game in general, or at least the idea and the potential that is has. I feel that you are actually trying to put out content and not just streching the story without any development, and that's great.
I do have some gripes with the game though:
- There's little player agency (the choices we make almost don't matter). For example, on the beach, you can avoid sucking the cop's dick, but then with the principal, the game always asumes you did sucked dick, and the principal will be your second one, which was a bit weird imo.
Also, sometimes the game presents you with an option, but the result is the same outcome, and it doesn't appear that it has any impact on the character whatsoever.
- I feel that the corruption/degradation happens too fast, one minute she's enjoying sex with Hank and the next she's getting gangbang without any problems. I think this also comes back to player agency, where the game kinda streamlines you into scenes without you having much say in them.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good female corruption game, but I feel there's too much of a gap between starting to get corrupted and becoming a full blown slut (from a narrative point of view).
-In that same line, I also expected a bit more contend with the guys closer to her (the bros, the neighbour, etc) before going into full gang bang mode. And then she still acts doubtful around Matt even after the gang-bang and having already done it once with him, so I feel the chracter progression is kinda off.
-For example I liked the Hank scenes, because they felt a bit more organic, even if when she decides to fuck Gary it made sense because of how the scene went, but after that you get streamlined into letting everyone fucks her almost. I know you have some choices where you can opt out, but I feel they are not well presented because even if you refuse to do something on once scene, she will still be a slut on the next.
I know these might feel like I'm criticizing too much, but it's because I feel the game has a lot of potential to become a great one and I really enjoyed the renders and many of the scenes (the gang-bang not so much, partly because I don't normally enjoy the stereotypical black gang-bang, but mainly because of what I mentioned before, no agency and a bit too rushed in terms of progression, the renders and the scene in general was well done render wise and sutty wise, but it felt too soon, with player having no control over it).
Also, I got a weird bug that, after trying out clothes and dacing, if you refused to strip on the last outfit, the game would skip the beach images with the "bros" andjump straight into the cops scene, but these would have no background at all, just the characters.
Oh yeah, what does the "arousal" metter actually do? at first I though it would impact some choices, since it went up on the first day and after mastubating it went to 0. But then it only got filled a little a coupleof times and then none at all.
So, my only guess atm would that it's a progression to when she's going to lose her pussy virginity, but even then it doesn't really add much to the game. Will it have some impact ?
Same with the phone, it feels that it's just there and doesn't do anything functionally.
Maybe you wanted to make something like a sandbox kinda game at first but then decided for a more linear story?
Anyway, some of my comments might be kind of nitpicking, but I do feel that you can improve the game way more if you took a bit of time to look at the story/character progression and player agency.
- Mar 3, 2018
- 289
- 1,363
@ShadowPerv I love long comments like this Thank you for taking your time to write it. You are not criticizing much, you are helping, thank you for that.
- I'll check the bug. (Fixed it)
- I have a lot of comments here about player agency. I started to increase it in the last version. And also put the MC in such a position that more player agency is somewhat her choice for the following versions.
From the beginning, I wanted her to be a sexually curious and open person. So, in fact this was not a corruption game, she was experimenting - a lot. You are right, it was planned as a sandbox and after experimenting some, player agency was going to kick in and corruption was going to begin.
However, my Patrons preferred VN style game and things changed. In the last version, she's slowly understanding the disadvantages of careless behavior in the society. I've just finished writing v 0.17 and started testing it. I'll see what I have done, it's a long one
- Arousal meter and phone were for sandbox. I'll start to use arousal meter again soon. (Phone too. But later.)
- I agree with you about character progression. I couldn't handle the relationship with matt well in particular.
- This kind of comments are very important for me because I don't get them much. I have a limited number of patrons. This forum helps me a lot. Honestly, I'm always more concentrated on the next version than the previous ones. As a result, I miss some details that players catch immediately.
Thank you for taking your time to write it. You are not criticizing much, you are helping, thank you for that.- I'll check the bug. (Fixed it)
- I have a lot of comments here about player agency. I started to increase it in the last version. And also put the MC in such a position that more player agency is somewhat her choice for the following versions.
From the beginning, I wanted her to be a sexually curious and open person. So, in fact this was not a corruption game, she was experimenting - a lot. You are right, it was planned as a sandbox and after experimenting some, player agency was going to kick in and corruption was going to begin.
However, my Patrons preferred VN style game and things changed. In the last version, she's slowly understanding the disadvantages of careless behavior in the society. I've just finished writing v 0.17 and started testing it. I'll see what I have done, it's a long one
- Arousal meter and phone were for sandbox. I'll start to use arousal meter again soon. (Phone too. But later.)
- I agree with you about character progression. I couldn't handle the relationship with matt well in particular.
- This kind of comments are very important for me because I don't get them much. I have a limited number of patrons. This forum helps me a lot. Honestly, I'm always more concentrated on the next version than the previous ones. As a result, I miss some details that players catch immediately.
- Mar 3, 2018
- 289
- 1,363
I used some other hair types in some scenes and there wasn't any comments on it. So, I thought people were more focused on MC's other assets
To make it an option would increase my workload a lot, so that's not an option for me . But I plan on making changes to her hair from time to time.
- Mar 3, 2018
- 289
- 1,363
I've released v 0.17a for my Patrons.
v 0.17a:
- Thought and whisper fonts are now larger and in italics
- A few bug fixes
- More than 3000 new images, 90 new animations and 30000 words of new dialogue.
Events:
DAY 10
- Short breakfast event
- 1 School club room event
- 2 beach events : 1 with Tyrone and his friends, 1 bonus event following club room event.
- An event where MC helps uncle Stephan for his business meeting
- A nightclub event following uncle Stephan’s event
- A spa event following the nightclub event
DAY 11
- Morning event with George
- 2 events at school. They are MC’s first assignments. One at the art class and one tutoring
- Private lesson event at Jason’s
- 3 Evening events: Poker at Wilson’s, exhibitionist evening walk and jogging. If the MC gets drunk at Wilson’s, this changes the outcome of walking events
v 0.17a:
- Thought and whisper fonts are now larger and in italics
- A few bug fixes
- More than 3000 new images, 90 new animations and 30000 words of new dialogue.
Events:
DAY 10
- Short breakfast event
- 1 School club room event
- 2 beach events : 1 with Tyrone and his friends, 1 bonus event following club room event.
- An event where MC helps uncle Stephan for his business meeting
- A nightclub event following uncle Stephan’s event
- A spa event following the nightclub event
DAY 11
- Morning event with George
- 2 events at school. They are MC’s first assignments. One at the art class and one tutoring
- Private lesson event at Jason’s
- 3 Evening events: Poker at Wilson’s, exhibitionist evening walk and jogging. If the MC gets drunk at Wilson’s, this changes the outcome of walking events
- Oct 10, 2017
- 2,806
- 62,091
I do not speak English, so I hope you forgive me possible writing errors.
The first thing is to thank Paperwork for the creation of this game, especially because of the quality of the story and the quality of its work.
I downloaded the previous version (v.12) and I was very eager to follow the story, and tried to download this latest version but when I open the file it says it is damaged, could someone tell me why? Thank you very much
The first thing is to thank Paperwork for the creation of this game, especially because of the quality of the story and the quality of its work.
I downloaded the previous version (v.12) and I was very eager to follow the story, and tried to download this latest version but when I open the file it says it is damaged, could someone tell me why? Thank you very much
I personally liked the scenes with Matt, but I feel that they are a bit out of place in terms of pacing, that's my main gripe. Like the last one could happen before the gang-bang for example, it would make a bit more sense that she's still apprehensive about it a bit.@ShadowPerv I love long comments like this
- I'll check the bug. (Fixed it)
- I have a lot of comments here about player agency. I started to increase it in the last version. And also put the MC in such a position that more player agency is somewhat her choice for the following versions.
From the beginning, I wanted her to be a sexually curious and open person. So, in fact this was not a corruption game, she was experimenting - a lot. You are right, it was planned as a sandbox and after experimenting some, player agency was going to kick in and corruption was going to begin.
However, my Patrons preferred VN style game and things changed. In the last version, she's slowly understanding the disadvantages of careless behavior in the society. I've just finished writing v 0.17 and started testing it. I'll see what I have done, it's a long one
- Arousal meter and phone were for sandbox. I'll start to use arousal meter again soon. (Phone too. But later.)
- I agree with you about character progression. I couldn't handle the relationship with matt well in particular.
- This kind of comments are very important for me because I don't get them much. I have a limited number of patrons. This forum helps me a lot. Honestly, I'm always more concentrated on the next version than the previous ones. As a result, I miss some details that players catch immediately.
For example, some of the scenes where she's only showing herself or letting guys touch her on the VIP make sense from a progression point of view and they help you understand her sexual liberation/experimentation.
I think the bigger scenes are the ones that could use more agency, for example you can avoid the first gang-bang scene in Hank's Date scene (which also is a bit off-puting so soon into the game), but you're forced into the gang-bang with the black guys and other stuff like that later in the game. Some of that stuff is understandable because it makes sense for her progression, but some stuff could use some more options for the player.
I do appreciate the effort though, because I can tell you put a lot of work into the scenes and wouldn't like them removed or anything, but maybe just moved around on when they happen (fixing part of the timeline if you will) and a bit more choice if you want to skip them or maybe a less hardcore option as her exploration progresses. But maybe all of this might be too much work for you right now.
I don't mind the VN style at all. I sometimes prefer sand-box mode myself (when they are well done) because they give a bit more liberty but some can be quite grindy. VNs have their appeal as well. It's just that with VN style, player agency feels even more limited sometimes, so these details tend to be more noticeable (at least for me).
For example, Arosal metter could come into play in some specific choices (either bonus scenes if you have at least half the bar for example, or more player options in particular scenes).
I don't want to impose my ideas or anything like that, I'm just giving you my own opinions hoping they can be useful to you.
I also felt that these comments might come as "entitled" since I'm not on your Patron, so I tried to make them as constructive as possible.
Sadly I'm broke atm, college life and all that, otherwise I would sub to a couple of games without a doubt, yours included.
For now, the best I can do is test the game for bugs when the next release comes out.
The best of luck to you, and keep up the good work.