Ah ok. Not saying anything against your fetishes, I just feel like the story is so shallow. You basically have like a magic dick and every female you meet just magically instantly falls for you with absolutely no effort at all. Like your character doesn't even need to say hello and the woman is already offering herself up for you, lol. Including the kids. So I just feel like the story is probably the weakest part about this VN...
I thought the story had a great beginning and it's a good story right now, although there are a few hick ups - unnecessary drama to me - but with so little of the story revealed, they may make the story more rounded/deeper when we know more.
I could hardly judge GOT's first book if I was 40 pages in - just not enough story told so far.
The MC gets blown off at his Prom and then meets a woman who has also apparently been blown off - Gracie.
It turns out that they knew each other from school but not well and they end up sharing part of the evening together, followed by Chad drama, Gracie looking out for the MC, a beautiful first time, a Dad encounter from Hell and drunk driving, fleeing the scene but with horrible consequences.
You've thrown out the entire story with no mention of anything that you did enjoy - baby with the bathwater ...
There are some aspects of the story like the psycho cop that are - to me - unnecessary. Overall though - I like the story and I think it is a top third story for AVNs. It's not as good as the stories in my profile but those stories are there because they are That good (and not just for the stories).
The MC does not have a magic dick, but the story does have world building. Most of the women have not seen the MC's dick yet so...
As to the ones that are 'throwing' themselves at the MC - let's take a look:
3 daughters: they just lost their mother and very recently found out that they have a father (they have a name, an address, hope & questions) - so they are, quite reasonably, trying to learn more and the MC gets to decide which of the three paths he will take with them (pure, lust, dark).
Mira - world building - has worked for the MC for years? and has had a secret crush that she feels she better act on or the new girl will become the MC's girlfriend and Mira will have nothing.
New girl (Brooke) - world building - has been crushing on the MC for years, and now she gets to work for him. Does she rush the relationship - yes - also realistic, at least given some of my RL experiences.
Natalie - world-building - lost her son to the MC and her marriage is damaged/dead? He owes her Something and she is trying to figure that out. Emotionally unstable - yes; has a reason for holding a grudge/hating the MC - yes; Do her actions make any sense if you ignore the world building - of course not!
Vanessa - world building - jealous insecure woman who uses her body to try to get intimacy she craves... no woman has ever done that before, IRL or in any story...
Are there some hookups where the MC gets some sexy time and the creators get to show off the kind of H scenes we will get with these ladies (more than what we got with Brooke) - yes
Are they random or do they potentially weigh on the story later? We need much more of the story to know this.
Is Radiant = Shakespeare or Tolstoy... Nope, but then again, what AVN is?
Cheers!
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