VN Ren'Py Abandoned Reina's Desire [v0.2.5] [puppiesandboobies]

[WastedTalent]

But don't women interreact to each other? they have relationship with each other in the game, they will have to react to mc's polygamy idea and other girl's accepting to be in mc's harem etc

It's still faster faster to make a handful of renders and dialogue between LI's for harem than to make separate routes for each one. it's probably a quarter or less of the work if both ways are done properly.

 

[RamblingLunatic]

Do you get to wheel some snipes after praccy?

 

[Rcg7654321]

Omg, we have quite a lot of comments though no patron yet



wut?
why?
why would I mention my first language?
what its relation to my game?
If you are cute gal and want to know me,you can pm me ofc




I like harem content just like many other content but this game will have routes for each girl, mystery and sport elements etc. so making a harem game would be complicated and instead of turning it into a wide, slow updated etc, I want to finish this project.


Yep,yep, I want to make adult scenes and maybe other scenes animated, I have been and still learning animation for it!


Can't you guess it by breast hierarchy )



Incest? No no no, we dont do terrible, horrendous, sinful acts like that, but landlady and her daughter is LI


Sibir and his killer smile, right? MC is lucky he is not human or he would steal all the girls without patreon banning me.


First of all, I am an one man army. Oversized? Come on dude! There are also Asian girls on banner)
What are that other items which you wont tell? Don't hesitate to tell, I am interested in people's opinion that's why I am on a pirate forum
Thanks for checking and wishing luck though


I know rightttt, my girls are perfect the way they are, no body shaming plz


Thanks ! There sure will be regular updates. Actually I wish to update biweekly but currently it could be so utopic, game doesnt even cover its bills. I will still try anyway. Each girl will have their route equal, I am a respectful feminist person, I don't discriminate woman tsk tsk




Loll

Thanks buddies, I will correct them. Sure I am no Canadian or native English speaker, one can understand it from my A1 english as well. You can always buy me grammarly account of course since free version only changes color to colour



We are all Sibir's bitches!
The Universe is his harem

Well if you plan to do it that often i'll be a sub by mid november!

 

[Mondoblasto]

wut?
why?
why would I mention my first language?

As you're a new user here, I'll take a stab at explaining that. You've had to have been here for a while to understand.

You've probably noticed that a lot of games are posted here, from a lot of places, and many where English is not prevalent. For example, I'm aware that Russian is tricky as native expressions do not directly translate well word for word, and the usage of pronouns, especially 'he' and 'she' is very inflexible (in fact, it has no way to deal with non-binary pronouns and has become a legitimate issue). When a Russian dev straight-up Google translates their work and tosses it out there with a "Job's done!" attitude, it's VERY obvious. It can range anywhere from humorous (and not in a "dev is trying to be funny" way), to a mess of indecipherable English words mashed together.


It's fair to say that it's made many users here a bit jaded when it comes to translation.

That being said, your English is very understandable. It ain't flowing by any means, but it gets the point across. As someone who picked up English and later became a native speaker, putting out a project in a different language and putting in the effort to make it understandable is commendable.

When non-English devs put out work that has very clearly not been put through any kind of editing, it smacks of the dev trying to pass off their mess of a translation as native English, as if a native speaker could never tell the difference. It feels like they're trying to fool us, almost disrespectful, and it comes off as a bad joke.

Even when a dev puts in the effort for translation, they likely know that a native speaker can tell the difference. So how do they approach that? Simply by stating openly anywhere where their project is being offered that English is not their first language, so there could be mistakes. They don't necessarily have to say what their language is, especially if the translation is of higher quality IMO, but acknowledging that it's a translation is key.

Even when the translation is not stellar, just saying that English is not their first language can cause users to give a game a chance and check it out on the merits of its gameplay, despite a lower-quality translation.

I know this is bordering on TL;DR, but I hope I explained it properly.

 

[Crosaith.]

MORE SPORTS!!! I'll be keeping a close eye on this.

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

The overview is confusing. There are a lot of "his" and "your" Dev is talking about the MC and the brother.
Also, shouldn't it be written like you have become the MC? so instead of he, his, s/b you, your?
Looks good, and the art is unique.

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

However, the art is over proportional and exaggerated to a point of disgust.

I heard there is an opening for an art critic at the museum of wedontcare.

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

When non-English devs put out work that has very clearly not been put through any kind of editing.

You make some good points. I would add one more.
The Dev has to put their trust in the person/program doing the translation. Proper translation is time-consuming and, therefore, expensive.
A unique situation here, in my opinion, is the game Monkey business it's defiantly a Russian made game, or is it?
It's almost deliberately written in bad translation, but you easily get the intention. The wisecracks that the sister makes could not be unintentional. It's a great game. I just wish the picture quality was better.

 

[zeus04]

:amore:

 

[puppiesandboobies]

Going the harem route instead of making a route for each girl will be far easier for you as a dev and faster, making one route for each girl will be far slower.
In any case , you should do the game you want so no argument there.

It's still faster faster to make a handful of renders and dialogue between LI's for harem than to make separate routes for each one. it's probably a quarter or less of the work if both ways are done properly.

I am kinda intrigued and plan to make it but if it creates any problem I will blame and condemn both of you in a public post

As you're a new user here, I'll take a stab at explaining that. You've had to have been here for a while to understand.

You've probably noticed that a lot of games are posted here, from a lot of places, and many where English is not prevalent. For example, I'm aware that Russian is tricky as native expressions do not directly translate well word for word, and the usage of pronouns, especially 'he' and 'she' is very inflexible (in fact, it has no way to deal with non-binary pronouns and has become a legitimate issue). When a Russian dev straight-up Google translates their work and tosses it out there with a "Job's done!" attitude, it's VERY obvious. It can range anywhere from humorous (and not in a "dev is trying to be funny" way), to a mess of indecipherable English words mashed together.


It's fair to say that it's made many users here a bit jaded when it comes to translation.

That being said, your English is very understandable. It ain't flowing by any means, but it gets the point across. As someone who picked up English and later became a native speaker, putting out a project in a different language and putting in the effort to make it understandable is commendable.

When non-English devs put out work that has very clearly not been put through any kind of editing, it smacks of the dev trying to pass off their mess of a translation as native English, as if a native speaker could never tell the difference. It feels like they're trying to fool us, almost disrespectful, and it comes off as a bad joke.

Even when a dev puts in the effort for translation, they likely know that a native speaker can tell the difference. So how do they approach that? Simply by stating openly anywhere where their project is being offered that English is not their first language, so there could be mistakes. They don't necessarily have to say what their language is, especially if the translation is of higher quality IMO, but acknowledging that it's a translation is key.

Even when the translation is not stellar, just saying that English is not their first language can cause users to give a game a chance and check it out on the merits of its gameplay, despite a lower-quality translation.

I know this is bordering on TL;DR, but I hope I explained it properly.

Thanks for explaining, I will write a warning in overview section though people can already get that thanks to its grammatic mistakes. I haven't seen any game that written it -but I guess I play native speaker games- so I didn't know it thanks for letting me know

It is actually not a translation, I tried to directly write it in english because lots of phrases, jokes etc can't be translated, it would just slow down the development process. Yeah my native languages is neither from same language language nor share similar vocabulary, phonetics, syntax etc. I don't think majority of people who play the game thinks its deceiving like why would I try to deceive people in this topic? There is no shame not being non native english speaker or having grammar mistakes. The language is not the only thing I am not good at it. My artwork and my coding is far from being perfect and contains a lot of mistakes as well, I don't try to pass as native speaker or talented artist. I just wanted to make a game and do it, so please don't think that I am fooling you and things like that.

You make some good points. I would add one more.
The Dev has to put their trust in the person/program doing the translation. Proper translation is time-consuming and, therefore, expensive.
A unique situation here, in my opinion, is the game Monkey business it's defiantly a Russian made game, or is it?
It's almost deliberately written in bad translation, but you easily get the intention. The wisecracks that the sister makes could not be unintentional. It's a great game. I just wish the picture quality was better.

I don't have any native speaker friend who can proofread me, you guys can be ) Jokes aside anyone can pm me any random shit and I can write back so don't hesitate

I thought I would get some help proofreading or even a writer- I mean a real one, not me- if people supported financially. You see this game make zero on patreon, I already invested on drawing tablet(because my potato pc cant do any 3d shit and it was more expensive to invest) and with coding etc it increased my bill scaringly so I will try to proofread my writing better but don't think proofreading department will get better in s a short time. Because I don't even realize my grammatical mistakes, since its a foreign language for me, everything seems abnormal so I can't point out any weirdass grammar. With your help or swearing I will get better

I only played its first chapter but it seemed cute game indeed

Btw you guys have stereotypes about russian devs because of their abundance in here, since its a federation with a lot of minorities and languages, they must have quite a fame in grammar mistakes. But if you guys have seen people from other parts of worlds you wouldn't even consider their mistakes as mistake lol

 

[puppiesandboobies]

The overview is confusing. There are a lot of "his" and "your" Dev is talking about the MC and the brother.
Also, shouldn't it be written like you have become the MC? so instead of he, his, s/b you, your?
Looks good, and the art is unique.

which part has wrong you&he?

Spoiler: overview

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ughh you guys awakened all of my english literature class traumas. I will have nightmares

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

Here is my interpretation.

Spoiler

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[Deleted member 15555]

But don't women interreact to each other? they have relationship with each other in the game, they will have to react to mc's polygamy idea and other girl's accepting to be in mc's harem etc

Not necessary, I mean you just have to make the girls value higher losing the mc to some other girl than rejecting to share him.

Basically that will be making the girls "head over heels for the mc" that they will consider sharing him as to not lose him, when those are random girls with no ties at all to the mc you will need to plan it ahead, like for example in most rpg games or visual novels that are good enough, they start caring about the mc more than anything when the mc does something "heroic" for those girls (like risking his life or saving them, helping them in any way you can think of). For family members like mom,sis that will be easy since they already care a lot about the mc and them falling in love with the mc will further that relationship making it more easy for them to accept to share the mc with other girls.

Btw the girls don't need to care for the other girls in the harem, that misconcept is overdone in vns but you can make them only care for the mc and not so much for anything else, to put an example: In the middle ages most of the concubines or wives hated each other and even plotted against each other for the love of the "husband" (you don't need to go that far though haha).
The whole point of a harem mostly so you don't have to do a route for each girl and make it a bit more linear.
Also at the end of the day, it depends how you want to go about it.
Maybe take a look at some of the most popular ones to give you an idea of how to go at it.

Anyways, I don't recommend you recruiting/paying a writer for your game, it will probably end bad.
The best thing you can do is getting some editor to fix your grammar.

I am kinda intrigued and plan to make it but if it creates any problem I will blame and condemn both of you in a public post

I plead the fifth .

 

[Ph4r40h]

Is the fathers "beautiful and mysterious friend" supposed to be your mom? In reference to the incest tag

 

[puppiesandboobies]

Not necessary, I mean you just have to make the girls value higher losing the mc to some other girl than rejecting to share him.

Basically that will be making the girls "head over heels for the mc" that they will consider sharing him as to not lose him,

Hmm so in order to make harem route, girls need to get ntred huh?

when those are random girls with no ties at all to the mc you will need to plan it ahead, like for example in most rpg games or visual novels that are good enough, they start caring about the mc more than anything when the mc does something "heroic" for those girls (like risking his life or saving them, helping them in any way you can think of). For family members like mom,sis that will be easy since they already care a lot about the mc and them falling in love with the mc will further that relationship making it more easy for them to accept to share the mc with other girls.

-it contains a tiny bit spoiler- In this game, girls have some type of relationship with each other before they meet the mc and related to the events so their reaction matter

Btw the girls don't need to care for the other girls in the harem, that misconcept is overdone in vns but you can make them only care for the mc and not so much for anything else, to put an example: In the middle ages most of the concubines or wives hated each other and even plotted against each other for the love of the "husband" (you don't need to go that far though haha).

of course in middle ages etc, a wife will hate concubine or concubine will hate wife, their main target is the same, money of the husband))

The whole point of a harem mostly so you don't have to do a route for each girl and make it a bit more linear.
Also at the end of the day, it depends how you want to go about it.
Maybe take a look at some of the most popular ones to give you an idea of how to go at it.

Yeah, I have some stuff in my mind but I definitely will check popular ones so what I have in my mind does not only please my mind

Anyways, I don't recommend you recruiting/paying a writer for your game, it will probably end bad.
The best thing you can do is getting some editor to fix your grammar.

why? people talk shit to my writing

I plead the fifth .

You guys wont get away with this harem wish that easily

Is the fathers "beautiful and mysterious friend" supposed to be your mom? In reference to the incest tag

This forum is so corrupted, people are thinking of their father's friend and landlady as mama

Incest? No no no, we dont do terrible, horrendous, sinful acts like that, but landlady and her daughter is LI

but she is the landlady yeah

 

[puppiesandboobies]

Here is my interpretation.

Spoiler

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Sensei before editing the overview I have a question

Since the icebreaker is like big bro's nickname , shouldn't it come before his name? Doesn't it sounds like the accident is named icebreaker?

 

[Deleted member 15555]

Hmm so in order to make harem route, girls need to get ntred huh?

The mc can be dating them or cheating on them, whatever you want.
I recommend the 1st one.

-it contains a tiny bit spoiler- In this game, girls have some type of relationship with each other before they meet the mc and related to the events so their reaction matter

That will make it easier then, the only thing you will need to do will be to make sure this harem is about the mc , not the girls...
Since them being in a relationship before the mc can make the players feel like a 3rd wheel that's why I suggested all the girls caring more about the mc than anyone else.

Or do you mean them being in a relationship as just friends or something?

of course in middle ages etc, a wife will hate concubine or concubine will hate wife, their main target is the same, money of the husband))

Not necessarily money, sometimes is all about love too though usually is about power/money.
The good thing about a game is that you make it however you want.

Yeah, I have some stuff in my mind but I definitely will check popular ones so what I have in my mind does not only please my mind

I recommend Prince of Suburbia for example.
(Though don't make the mc as doofus , I prefer the mc you are making. But when it comes to how they work the relationship it can be similar in a way.)

why? people talk shit to my writing

Well, I know a few writers that can help you if you want, for free
Though I think is better to be on your own and just have someone fix your grammar.

 

[Allan Wolf]

looks promising, just one question what kind of incest does this game contain?

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

Sensei before editing the overview I have a question

Since the icebreaker is like big bro's nickname , shouldn't it come before his name? Doesn't it sounds like the accident is named icebreaker?

You play as a guy who wins a scholarship to the university that your older brother once attended. He became a great hockey player but was injured and could never return to the game. You move to the big city to live with your father's beautiful and mysterious friend and her annoying daughter. At the same time, you play on the university's hockey team and try to learn what is behind "The Icebreaker," your famous brother's tragic accident and, heartbreaking, suicide.

Will you follow your dreams and become a great hockey player, or will new things come your way and put you on a path you could never have thought you would go down?

What will you become? The choice is yours.
In this game, you will experience hate, revenge, vengeance, betrayal, rivalry, lust, and love. I hope you enjoy guys.


Yes, that sounds good.
Good luck with the game.

 

[3DbPNuRHhpW]

Nope. Miss Rich Bitch is far too annoying.