VN Ren'Py Abandoned Running Away [v0.8] [Mr. AJ]

3.40 star(s) 7 Votes
Discussion Reviews (7)
Mister_M

Mister_M

Engaged Member
Apr 2, 2018
2,443
4,731
Mr. AJ said:
Thank for you comment, and I don't think you are harsh, I'll pay more attention to the script and solve it, your comments are really useful and if you have more to say, please tell me
Click to expand...
As was said above: I think the language issue is the the biggest one atm. While I can grasp the general meaning, the talk with father was imo slightly confusing and MC's musings before meeting Sofia weren't much better too. When the language issue will be solved I think the plot will also become clearer and then perhaps you can think how to make the flow of the story smoother (if any tweaking will be necessary). BTW when MC talks with Markus at least at one point MC's words are attributed to Markus.

Geekbone said:
hellacious, chillax and even nomophobia
Click to expand...
I just googled them :D English is not my 1st language and I never heard these, so it's cool to add them to my vocabulary. I'm gonna chillax now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SteelyDan14
Mr. AJ

Mr. AJ

Newbie
Game Developer
Jul 6, 2021
47
156
Geekbone said:
I am always amazed that non-English speaking people can even speak English. It is a crazy, awesome language that changes almost daily. Words like hellacious, chillax and even nomophobia have been recently added to our dictionary, plus we take words from other languages all the time and incorporate them into daily use like cafe, entrepreneur or lingerie. So congratulations for being able to do what you have already done. But seriously... you should consider finding a native speaker to write the dialogue. There are plenty on this board alone who would love to help you.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for the idea, and I would love to have someone helping me to improve the script but I haven't search yet because I'm still new to all this and the game is rather small at this point, but I'll see what I can do.
Mister_M said:
BTW when MC talks with Markus at least at one point MC's words are attributed to Markus.
Click to expand...
I'll check the whole script and fix the missing words and spelling, thanks
 
  • Like
Reactions: SteelyDan14
H

HansDampf788

Well-Known Member
Dec 31, 2018
1,899
6,269
Mr. AJ said:
I'll check the whole script and fix the missing words and spelling, thanks
Click to expand...
I haven't played your game yet because I generally don't play demos or 0.1 versions because too many of them just get abandoned by the devs but for the English problems using Deepl to translate from your language to English or using Grammarly to check the dialogue in a google docs file can be very helpful.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wicked Garden and Mr. AJ
S

somebodynobody

Engaged Member
May 11, 2017
3,263
4,206
Geekbone said:
I am always amazed that non-English speaking people can even speak English. It is a crazy, awesome language that changes almost daily. Words like hellacious, chillax and even nomophobia have been recently added to our dictionary, plus we take words from other languages all the time and incorporate them into daily use like cafe, entrepreneur or lingerie. So congratulations for being able to do what you have already done. But seriously... you should consider finding a native speaker to write the dialogue. There are plenty on this board alone who would love to help you.
Click to expand...
Don't forget how we can make a single word have a lot of meanings which unless you are native won't really understand. For example take the word "Sick".

A man has an infection, so he is "Sick" (has an illness).

A man who is sick (previous statement), rides a skateboard and does an amazing trick, the trick was "Sick" (amazing).

A man who is sick and did a sick trick stops his skateboard and gets "Sick" (vomit action).

A man who is sick and did a sick trick gets sick, the "Sick" (vomit object) is in front of you.

A man who is sick and did a sick trick gets sick, the sick is in front of you and you say "Sick" (eww).

Etc.
 
Shane498

Shane498

Member
Apr 27, 2017
227
254
Mr. AJ said:
Yes, it will. Also interracial, but I'm open to suggestions.
Click to expand...
Just do want you want, the important thing is to build a nice "environment" between story and characters. If you want to add a fetish, do it (just make it work with the game/story and characters).
Once the game it's done you can still make like an extended version, maybe adding others fetishes, enhanced graphics
 
BarbarrossaNA

BarbarrossaNA

Active Member
Sep 10, 2019
946
1,611
BarbarrossaNA said:
A short demo that shows oodles of potential. Renders are top notch and I was really getting into it before I hit the end. Looking forward to seeing where this one goes.
Click to expand...
I feel about the same.. maybe substitute 'A long demo' in place of 'A short demo'. Still looking good though. Two thumbs up for what we've got so far. Keep cranking on it Mr.AJ, keep cranking.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mr. AJ
Mr. AJ

Mr. AJ

Newbie
Game Developer
Jul 6, 2021
47
156
Shane498 said:
Just do want you want, the important thing is to build a nice "environment" between story and characters. If you want to add a fetish, do it (just make it work with the game/story and characters).
Once the game it's done you can still make like an extended version, maybe adding others fetishes, enhanced graphics
Click to expand...
Thanks for the comment, it's a really interesting idea to make an extended version. I'll keep it in mind.

Rory Smith said:
Is it a Harem game ??
If yes, interesting....

But,

Ntr planned or not ??
If yes, i am out of here!!
Click to expand...
Yes Harem. No NTR. If you got more doubts let me know please.
 
  • Like
  • Hey there
  • Thinking Face
Reactions: Gosamr, punisher2099, verzauberung and 3 others
Gleemer

Gleemer

Engaged Member
Jun 8, 2018
2,153
12,422


Here is the Italian translation
of Running Away [v0.3]

This translation is "unofficial, it was created by a fan.

You must be registered to see the links
+ Walkthrough Mod

****************************************************

Ecco la traduzione italiana
di un fan Running Away [v0.3]

Questa traduzione "non è ufficiale" è stata generata da un fan.

Here is the Italian translation
of Running Away [v0.2]

This translation is "unofficial, it was created by a fan.

You must be registered to see the links
+ Walkthrough Mod

****************************************************

Ecco la traduzione italiana
di un fan Running Away [v0.2]

Questa traduzione "non è ufficiale" è stata generata da un fan.

You must be registered to see the links
+ Walkthrough Mod imtegrata già

Here is the Italian translation
of Running Away [v0.1]

This translation is "unofficial, it was created by a fan.

You must be registered to see the links


****************************************************

Ecco la traduzione italiana
di un fan Running Away [v0.1]

Questa traduzione "non è ufficiale" è stata generata da un fan.

You must be registered to see the links
 
Last edited:
  • Red Heart
  • Like
Reactions: Ash_Knight and Mr. AJ
Freki.g

Freki.g

Well-Known Member
Jun 10, 2020
1,573
2,387
I haven't played this game yet but enjoyed reading the discussions.
Communicative devs that interact with users willing to express their opinions to improve the game in general is very nice to read.
My opinion, without wanting to criticize any exchange between users and devs, is that a game must trigger suspense in the context of the story in general and no less for the approach to sex.

That said, I am convinced and agree with those who have already written that, first of all, every devs should have fun with what they are planning and that any suggestions that may deviate from this must be discarded to avoid being mismanaged.

I have not played with many games but I know very well that a game can contain different paths / scenes to be chosen by the players according to their expectations, it means that if a dev thinks that some of his choices can take away too many consents just choose this last technique ( if he has the desire), so as to become an alternative tag.
Thanks for the game and good luck.

(English is not my language)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mr. AJ
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
3.40 star(s) 7 Votes