Exactly, later in the game he is shown to have a good reputation among many nobles and leaders and that's how he infiltrates the city and the keep. You can't tell me someone who was a commander in an army has no friends.Its borderline annoying how people seem to only take an extreme side , its either "Because rowan talked with one man that is shown repeatedly does not like him he would have never gotten help" or "He is a tactical genius"
He gave up after being refused by the worlds most obvious anti-peasant raising guy in the game , but he is still a hero of the realm, his situation comes due to people like that used their own influence to block the attempts to give him proper rewards, he has been shown has having friends with power , is respected by the people.
He tried once and gave up, did not try to get in contact with his actual allies instead going by the people that were nearer. Point still stands, if Rowan had used his head, there would be no game. Unless the devs changed the beginning again.
It makes sense why he did not take the time, Rowan is a heroic man that loves his wife and does not want to risk it, i don't mind it and it allows the game to happen. But saying that he had no allies is incorrect.
Even assuming he was overcome with love and grief over Alexia, why the hell does he take a detour to attack Jezera? His genius "tactical" brain couldn't tell him that that was a bad move? Especially given how Jezera had already overpowered him earlier?
But let's face it, the real reason for all this is that the devs and writers of this game have NTR, cuck, Dom/sub(especially femdom) fetishes at the top of their list and that's where the majority of their creative energies go. And that's why Rowan is stupid and passive.