- Dec 27, 2019
- 271
- 278
Not going to play for a few updates so we can see what content/choices will be forced on the player, but God damn that is one hot ass MC!
I don't think they used your proofreading on this version. Either that, or their proofreaders need proofreaders.It's awesome that there is already so much attention for this game. If you guys run across any serious typos or grammatical errors, throw the heat for that my way. I was the proofreader and editor for this game. These guys that made the game are great and I am super happy to have been able to work with them on this.
That's quite the comment. I normally would take offense to such a thing, but I really don't have the time, patience, or energy to do so. I respect that you have your own opinion on this game, but there is no need to be so rude and disrespectful about it.I don't think they used your proofreading on this version. Either that, or their proofreaders need proofreaders.
It's not a case of some grammar issues and typos slipping through. The entire thing is a grammar issue.
The writing itself could use some work though. It's hard to make out what the MC is even supposed to be. He just seems like a crazy bipolar fucker.
Sorry if it sounded offensive. Not trying to be rude. Just stating facts.That's quite the comment. I normally would take offense to such a thing, but I really don't have the time, patience, or energy to do so. I respect that you have your own opinion on this game, but there is no need to be so rude and disrespectful about it.
Putting this in bold, capital letters, in big, bright font with Italic's on the first page or under "Notes" or "Developer Notes" will do wonders to reduce the number of people who "See tag, check notes, (don't see 'avoidable') and then click 'Ignore' button".Everything will be optional, guys. So, don't worry about your ladies.
proofreaders made their job, it was us who decided not to correct some grammatical mistake to save writers narrative.I don't think they used your proofreading on this version. Either that, or their proofreaders need proofreaders.
It's not a case of some grammar issues and typos slipping through. The entire thing is a grammar issue.
The writing itself could use some work though. It's hard to make out what the MC is even supposed to be. He just seems like a crazy bipolar fucker.
you know this comment will backfire hardproofreaders made their job, it was us who decided not to correct some grammatical mistake to save writers narrative.
thanks for your comments.you know this comment will backfire hard
the audience at F95 jumps on this kind
the game looks nice , but yeah the reading was abit ..hard
Do I have the option to skip or avoid? Not the same at allHey, Guys!
EnGrish is our first language. So, there might be some minor and major grammatical mistakes. The text have been proofread, but still you could see weird things in the text. Hope you'll enjoy the game. Have a nice one!
Edit.
All the tags are avoidable, if don't like something you'll have a choice to skip it. No one will will have something intimate with the main LIs, except MC. You can share some random girls with your friends. Again, if you don't like that, you will have a choice to skip.
to the pointSomeone linked this game to me on disc earlier today, not sure if it was the dev or someone else involved in the game; I’m even less sure as to why, but I’ve had a quick look anyway.
Translation: Straight off the bat, there’s an apparent, ‘robotic’ consistency in the dialogue that’s all too common in these translated games… You can google translate anything to English, sure, but in doing so, you risk losing the idioms and/or greater meaning and emotion you’re trying to portray to the reader. I can’t help but feel bad for the devs out there who’re paying for these translation services and end up with what appears to be a direct copy paste from google.
If you want your audience to identify with characters and become enthralled in your game, those characters need to speak and think like real people.
Punctuation and spelling: Largely all over the shop. Please, guys, being a “Native English Speaker” doesn’t exempt you from running a quick ‘spell check’. Proofreading in the traditional sense is a two person job, failing that, (at the very least) just run a spell check. There’s a few free programs out there with varying ranges of intervention, can we start using them?!
Narration: There appears to be a complete absence of it. As far as stories go, visual novels cover a lot of the scene building you’d otherwise have to do in a text-only story. (there’s truth in that ‘picture equals a thousand words’ saying.) This, however, doesn’t mean that all non dialogue should be the MC’s thoughts. You don’t narrate to yourself every movement you make, (as you make it) in life…
Visceral monotony: I have an immense admiration for solo developers. The painstaking time and effort that goes into creating some of the renders we’re seeing lately, it’s so impressive. (This game is no exception.) Then, combining that with thought-out, intriguing stories, (ALONE) it’s just incredible.
So, in saying that, why bore the reader to death with seemingly never-ending scenes that exist only to cater for monotonous internal dialogue or narration? Cut the fat! Devs, ask your testers or proofreaders for feedback regarding story-bloat, then try to avoid it at all costs! The quickest way to turn a reading audience into a skipping, ‘viewing-only’ audience, is to bore them.
If the point can be made, (but not lost) in fewer words, then do so!
Despite my grievances, I really liked the renders. The effort spent on scene building is obvious, and the character models are attractive and unique. Story concept is also really interesting and unique, which is refreshing, it’s just a shame that it’s so lost in translation - literally.
completely avoidableDo I have the option to skip or avoid? Not the same at all