Atemsiel
I just discovered this VN, and I'm enjoying both the artwork and the writing immensely. Thank you. I've only made it to July 4th as yet, but perhaps this is the perfect time to remember that Americans are "different from" Brits in many ways, including our language.
The one thing that I find bothersome so far, as an American, is those characters who are ostensibly American (including MC and Riley) speak and think in British English.
Like 99% of indie VNs, Stormside could use a general proofreader, but what I believe it could use most is an American proofreader educated enough in British English to translate it for American characters.
Until then, here are a few tips regarding some of the countless ways Brits and Americans speak differently:
1) As alluded to above, where Brits say "different to," Americans say "different from." (You might notice the order of punctuation in the previous sentence is American rather than British, but I certainly encourage you to punctuate your story however you feel most comfortable, as long as it's consistent throughout.)
2) Americans only use the phrase "meant to" to mean "intended to." In most cases where Brits say "meant to," Americans would say "supposed to." Example: "Weren't you supposed to be at the party tonight?"
3) Americans never use "Right" as a filler word to begin a sentence. Instead, we would use the word "Okay." Ex: Instead of saying "Right, that's enough," Americans would say, "Okay, that's enough."
4) Most Americans get physically ill at the thought of "propriety," as it calls to mind those aspects of British culture we find most repugnant, namely classism, stuffiness, snobbishness, and deference to unworthy institutions like the royal family and the House of Lords. As a result, Brits use the words "proper" and "properly" approximately 500 times more often than Americans. Nevertheless, we Americans tend to be quite comfortable with many synonyms for "proper." We might talk about a "suitable dress for the event," the "correct way to plug in your charger," an "appropriate attitude," a "sense of decorum," a "respectable job," a "decent man," the "right answer." Instead of "Do it properly," we might say, "Do it like you were told." Instead of "Speak properly," we might say, "Stop talking like a fucking dumbass."
Anyway, those are a few issues off the top of my head that I've encountered multiple times. Thanks again for your great work, and I wish you well.
P.S. OMG. Holy shit. I just watched "Ashley's spooky experience" for the first time. Greatest scene I've ever seen in a VN. If you're going to write shit that hilarious, I don't care if all your Americans speak like limey British cunts.
P.P.S. I may add some more British/American bits as I go:
A) Nobody in America says "uni" in any context. We will certainly talk about specific "universities," but we refer to secondary education in general as "college."
B) Olivia says, "I won't be made to [do something]." This is another Britishism.
