Ren'Py Abandoned Story [v0.3] [story and magic]

[mrttao]

Just do the trans path and stop looking your titties?

for you this is ok. for most people it isn't.
target audience is a thing.

if someone is a lesbian or a trans they are not playing this game.
you think they wanna play 10 hours as a masculine heterosexual male to unlock this arc?
and that they will be ok with going back to masculine heterosexual male after the arc is done?

 

[Dr. FuckFace]

You don't have a problem with it and that is valid, but I have and that is valid too. The only one being a bitch I'm seeing is you being rude for no reason. And as you pointed out you are the one getting off on being treated like a woman, if you PM me I can point you to some games you should like (my Ignorelist is full of them ).

Thanks for the rebound. Been on a bad mood lately for unrelated reasons, sorry for being a dik without a reason, sincerely.

The thing i ment to say was that this probably aint that big of a deal, and theres no reason why MC would be treated as woman on the future amazonian part. Does it really matter if they throw you a pair of tits on the few scenes where you make few annoying amazons submit to you?
When you know your getting your normal body back and never lost your dik.
If the devs intention were for mc getting a pussy and even only at lesbian level, i would just delete the game.

Is it really that big of a deal? Mc`s not transforming to a woman, just saying fuck this shit, il do the spell with my dik intact so i can make this place my new slaveground or some feely feely stuff with equality and other shit.
I would prefer somekind of mirage spell where only they see me as trans, but if not im still not whining about it if the dev wont make me a bitch. im sure there are enough of femdom and sissy games, dont need proof for it

 

[mrttao]

To offer some constructive suggestions...
Here is a condensed list of ideas that have been floated in this thread (not all of them mine), and some additional fleshing out for them (by me).

idea 1:
I think that the Amazons should go from "kill men on sight" to "men are the property of their wife, until marriage belong to mother or nearest female relative".
This makes for a far more interesting dynamic of interaction. as MC has to avoid blowing his cover, but also avoid a bad end where he becomes the slave-husband of some amazon.

idea 2:
An infiltration spell/magic item that acts like a SEP field. they see you as you are, but just don't really think about what is wrong with you. Can be reused outside of amazon lands too.
Or an illusion that makes you look like a woman. but won't withstand physical contact. so be careful and prepare to run.

idea 3:
Or transform into a raven and just fly over their lands. This can have interesting interactions because ravens are very intelligent, and can speak human tongue even better than parrots. They also have a reputation of being the familiars of witches. So you can in fact interact with people as a raven.

You could have an entire "magical girl" arc where you as a raven bond with a teen girl with magical potential.
Act as the wise mentor to her in your raven form. Occasionally she is in trouble so you discretely find a spot to transform back into your own form... or even maybe some monster form like an orc, and "resolve" the problem for her. then it is back to being the wise magical animal mentor.
If you play the cards right you can eventually reveal your true self to her to develop the relationship further.
This meshes well with the communication magic you are supposed to learn.

 

[Simulacrum29]

as MC has to avoid blowing his cover, but also avoid a bad end when he becomes the slave-husband of some amazon.

That would be a point where I, personaly, would stop playing.

Or transform into a raven and just fly over their lands. This can have interesting interactions because ravens are very intelligent, and can speak human tongue even better than parrots. They also have a reputation of being the familiars of witches. So you can in fact interact with people as a raven.

You could have an entire "magical girl" arc where you as a raven bond with a teen girl with magical potential.
Act as the wise mentor to her in your raven form. Occasionally she is in trouble so you discretely find a spot to transform back into your own form... or even maybe some monster form like an orc, and "resolve" the problem for her. then it is back to being the wise magical animal mentor.
If you play the cards right you cane eventually reveal your true self to her to develop the relationship further.
This meshes well with the communication magic you are supposed to learn.

That on the other hand is something I'm infinitely more interested in than everything else discussed in the last few pages.

 

[mrttao]

That would be a point where I, personaly, would stop playing.

I did a typo. i meant to say where, not when.
as in, this was describing a bad end you are avoiding. rather than something that happens as part of the story.
The idea was to NOT be a slave-husband.
Instead you are pretending to be on a mission from your mother to go to X and do Y, and dodging or fighting off aggressive amazons.

That said... the magical girl arc idea is really growing on me a lot. would be awesome
probably the best idea by far.

 

[Simulacrum29]

I did a typo. i meant to say where, not when.
as in, this was describing a bad end you are avoiding. rather than something that happens as part of the story.
The idea was to NOT be a slave-husband.
Instead you are pretending to be on a mission from your mother to go to X and do Y, and dodging or fighting off aggressive amazons.

That said... the magical girl arc idea is really growing on me a lot. would be awesome
probably the best idea by far.

Still not interested in the first idea. Femalesupremasict Amazones never sat right with me. At least for procreation, they need to leave their home country to meet a man, so they get in contact with multiple different Cultures. They know they can't treat every man with disdain. If they keep this attitude, they would be at war with every neighboring Country sooner rather than later.
And then they get recked if they are not Superhuman or have some crazy terrain advantage.
The thing is. They can't even get a steady supply of new Soldiers without further weakening their ranks. They can't be mothers and soldiers at the same time. In a simple war of attrition, they will lose if both sides start with the same number of troops.
But they probably won't have the same number of troops even with Superhuman strength they will sooner or later die by a thousand cuts. That's why Goblins in fantasy, are a real threat to Human Settlements or why the Imperial Army in WH40K is able to stand against Chaos and such. They are outperformed in nearly all aspects by their target but they have more bodies than their enemy and they get new bodies every day. So the Scale tips to their side every day just a bit until they overwhelm their enemy through pure mass.
Why should anybody come to their aid when they treat every neighboring Ruler like he is dirt under their boots? Why not help the winning Side? Nobody likes to lose, and all the riches/women the former Kingdom won't miss after it got destroyed.

All that is paired with a World full of magic so Terrain advantages can only do so much. If they angered some Archwizard it's probably: fuck around and find out, while he wrecks the land with thunderstorms.
In Zelda, the Gerudos are an Amazonian race, but they are polite but strict with not letting any man into their capital, but you will not be treated less in their country. And some of the Gerudos, that are fresh from the Capital, are looking at you with curiosity and not hostility.

So if not every single one of them is like the Hulk or at least Superman, they will get rekt. The "Supermacised Amazones" Trope doesn't make any sense from an in-world perspective.

But like I said earlier your Idea for a Witch Mentor Arc sounds amazing.

 

[primoo357]

There are couple of dragons & lizard like thing as of now

Thanks playa

 

[mrttao]

Still not interested in the first idea. Femalesupremasict Amazones never sat right with me. At least for procreation, they need to leave their home country to meet a man, so they get in contact with multiple different Cultures. They know they can't treat every man with disdain. If they keep this attitude, they would be at war with every neighboring Country sooner rather than later.
And then they get recked if they are not Superhuman or have some crazy terrain advantage.
The thing is. They can't even get a steady supply of new Soldiers without further weakening their ranks. They can't be mothers and soldiers at the same time. In a simple war of attrition, they will lose if both sides start with the same number of troops.
But they probably won't have the same number of troops even with Superhuman strength they will sooner or later die by a thousand cuts. That's why Goblins in fantasy, are a real threat to Human Settlements or why the Imperial Army in WH40K is able to stand against Chaos and such. They are outperformed in nearly all aspects by their target but they have more bodies than their enemy and they get new bodies every day. So the Scale tips to their side every day just a bit until they overwhelm their enemy through pure mass.
Why should anybody come to their aid when they treat every neighboring Ruler like he is dirt under their boots? Why not help the winning Side? Nobody likes to lose, and all the riches/women the former Kingdom won't miss after it got destroyed.

All that is paired with a World full of magic so Terrain advantages can only do so much. If they angered some Archwizard it's probably: fuck around and find out, while he wrecks the land with thunderstorms.
In Zelda, the Gerudos are an Amazonian race, but they are polite but strict with not letting any man into their capital, but you will not be treated less in their country. And some of the Gerudos, that are fresh from the Capital, are looking at you with curiosity and not hostility.

I agree with you.

That this is why I specifically suggested earlier that I think dev should change his plan from "men inside their borders are killed on sight" to "men inside their borders are treated as property of mother or wife"

That way they do not require interaction with the neighbors. They can completely wall off their borders, possibly use terrain to completely isolate themselves. they never leave their country, they never interact with neighboring rulers.
totally isolated culture that does not rely on neighbors for men.
where they produce their own men. just raise them to be second class citizens from birth. property of mother until she sells him to the wife.

That all being said. still a bit iffy.
I could very well see the neighboring nations ganging up on them on principal.
Plus there is all this free real estate. just enslave or kill the amazons and you get yourself a bunch of new land to expand into

like you said, it is not a very tenable thing

 

[Simulacrum29]

I agree with you.

That this is why I specifically suggested earlier that I think dev should change his plan from "men inside their borders are killed on sight" to "men inside their borders are treated as property of mother or wife"

That way they do not require interaction with the neighbors. They can completely wall off their borders, possibly use terrain to completely isolate themselves. they never leave their country, they never interact with neighboring rulers.
totally isolated culture that does not rely on neighbors for men.
where they produce their own men. just raise them to be second class citizens from birth. property of mother until she sells him to the wife.

That all being said. still a bit iffy.
I could very well see the neighboring nations ganging up on them on principal.
Plus there is all this free real estate. just enslave or kill the amazons and you get yourself a bunch of new land to expand into

like you said, it is not a very tenable thing

The thing is the oppression of huge amounts of your citizen has never worked for prolonged periods in human history. And no contact with all neighbors is unrealistic, to put it mildly. It is like communication you can't say nothing, because even not saying something sends a message.

>Over there are huge swaths of arable land right for the picking. All you need to do is send some Settlers and Boom your kingdom is bigger than yesterday. Nobody will stop you
> Mhh? we didn't hear from our Settlers we sent South some time ago, send someone to look at what they are doing! > Scout never comes back?
> Send a bigger military force to check out what happened
> Live, die, repeat
> War or Diplomatic relations with your neighbors.

If they are not hanging out in a death trap of a swamp or a mountain range that only Mountain Goats can traverse safely, they have neighbors and they have relations with them.
And if they live so secluded, the MC has absolutely no need to travel through their land. And that would again point to a very small group of Amazones which would mean they again need a fresh supply of males from outside.
As I said a "Land of Amazons", so Hostile to males is nonsense. The only reasonable explanation would be if it is some mythical Island, then you could have a position defensible enough to last some time but sooner or later you would still get ground into the dust. And with an Island once again MC has no business being there.

 

[story_and_magic]

I see here people really heat it up about futa tag. I think it would be good to give a little clarification.
Amazon (Zomalia) land is just a small part of the story. Sex would be there only if you want it. (MC could fuck girl and not the other way around. No gay sex too.)
You can just cast a spell, cross the land and move on.

Also MC will not be submissive to anyone! He can get caught and have a hard time, but he will escape.
He will take over castles, lead armies, control and kill people etc... Does this sounds like pathetic and weak guy? No.
Hope this will clear the air here and everyone could now move on from this futa future tag. Totally optional and you will not see shit from it, if you don't like it.

And thank you for trying the game.

 

[Simulacrum29]

I see here people really heat it up about futa tag. I think it would be good to give a little clarification.
Amazon (Zomalia) land is just a small part of the story. Sex would be there only if you want it. (MC could fuck girl and not the other way around. No gay sex too.)
You can just cast a spell, cross the land and move on.

Also MC will not be submissive to anyone! He can get caught and have a hard time, but he will escape.
He will take over castles, lead armies, control and kill people etc... Does this sounds like pathetic and weak guy? No.
Hope this will clear the air here and everyone could now move on from this futa future tag. Totally optional and you will not see shit from it, if you don't like it.

And thank you for trying the game.

Can't we simply drop a Sun on Zomalia and be done with it?

 

[mrttao]

I see here people really heat it up about futa tag. I think it would be good to give a little clarification.
Amazon (Zomalia) land is just a small part of the story. Sex would be there only if you want it. (MC could fuck girl and not the other way around. No gay sex too.)
You can just cast a spell, cross the land and move on.

This really doesn't address any of the discussion we are having on the subject.
We already knew from the start that the plan is to make it optional and that it is a small part of the story.
This is actually a large part of the problem. if this was a trans game then so be it, people who like it will play it and those who do not will pass on it.

a. a chapter is not that small, especially when each chapter has taken 6 months to make thus far. We are talking about a bare minimum of 6 months to develop this. possible a year and a half.
and there is no target audience for it

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b. zomalia does not sound like a plausible country

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c. there are assorted better in character actions the MC could plausibly take instead of temporarily transitioning

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[story_and_magic]

This really doesn't address any of the discussion we are having on the subject.
We already knew from the start that the plan is to make it optional and that it is a small part of the story.
This is actually a large part of the problem. if this was a trans game then so be it, people who like it will play it and those who do not will pass on it.

a. a chapter is not that small, especially when each chapter has taken 6 months to make thus far. We are talking about a bare minimum of 6 months to develop this. possible a year and a half.
and there is no target audience for it

b. zomalia does not sound like a plausible country

c. there are assorted better in character actions the MC could plausibly take instead of temporarily transitioning

Questions.
Do you like the movie "Game of thrones"?
There have lesbians, gays, insect etc.
Do you like "Harry Potter"?
In one episode Hermione and some other girl transformed themselves into Harry Potter and no one thought that they are gays.


a. About the speed of development, it depends of the support. " there is no target audience for it " -If you like the movies I mention above you will be fine here too. Otherwise, this could be not a game for you.

b. " Zomalia does not sound like a plausible country" - it is not meant to be plausible. It is an obstacle and a challenge, but our MC has to deal with it.

c. If I start to change the plot every time someone finds a small part not suits him, this VN will never exist. We have to close one eye and skip what we don't like... which is not that big and it is far in the future.

And the last but not least, we are here to have fun and entertain ourselves.
So many novels... for all kind of taste and mood.
I will keep working and provide joy.
Creation is not easy and the final result for sure can't fit everyone's expectation.
But we have big variety of VN.

I don't want to argue or offend anyone.
I just wanted to bring some light on the subject.
Peace and love.

 

[Simulacrum29]

Questions.
Do you like the movie "Game of thrones"?
There have lesbians, gays, insect etc.
Do you like "Harry Potter"?
In one episode Hermione and some other girl transformed themselves into Harry Potter and no one thought that they are gays.

Do you know what the difference is? I'm not Hermoine, I'm not Harry Potter, and I'm not Tyvin Lannister or any other Character in those Books or TV Shows / Movies. But I'm The MC when I play this game. If Something like this would happen in some Book or Movie

Spoiler: I would be like

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But If it happens to me, my agency is stript from me and I have to endure something I actively despise,

Spoiler: my reaction is more like

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You can't compare Books, Shows, and Movies with Games. The Storytelling needs to be different. Harry and Ron will Transform into Crabbe and Goyle regardless of how often I read the Story or watch the movie. Tyvin Lannister will always be shot by his son while sitting on the toilet, no matter what I'm doing. But the MC Is our Avatar in the World you created we shape his path and decide what he is doing. It is your work and you can do whatever you want. And it will probably mean nothing to you but if we can't avoid The land of the Amazones I will drop your game and it will sadden me.

 

[mrttao]

Questions.
Do you like the movie "Game of thrones"?
There have lesbians, gays, insect etc.
Do you like "Harry Potter"?
In one episode Hermione and some other girl transformed themselves into Harry Potter and no one thought that they are gays.

a. About the speed of development, it depends of the support. " there is no target audience for it " -If you like the movies I mention above you will be fine here too. Otherwise, this could be not a game for you.

Facepalm.

1. A movie is not the same as a video game. In a video game you are playing as a main character.
Playing AS someone, controlling him, becoming him.... this is not the same as "this movie has a side character that is X"

2. Porn is not the same as non porn. Having a gay guy in game of thrones is not the same as watching hardcore gay porn movie.
I didn't whip my dick out in the theater and start masturbating in the middle of harry potter movie. Because it is not porn.
The moment you include porn into the equation things change.

3. You are NOT going to attract lesbians and gays to your "heterosexual male harem" game by including a single one and done chapter 10 hours into the game with "content designed to appeal to them".

This is not a sandbox game where you could say "here is some gay content, here is some straight content. go play what you want"
Instead this is a visual novel where if they want to reach the lesbian or trans content they first need to sit through 10 hours of straight content.

I will let you in on a secret. Exactly 0 lesbians and 0 M2F trans are going to actually sit through your 10 hours of super masculine straight guy harem fantasy to reach that one chapter where you included token content.

If you want to appeal to incompatible demographics then switch to a sandbox where they can immediately go to the content they want and avoid all other content.
====

c. If I start to change the plot every time someone finds a small part not suits him, this VN will never exist. We have to close one eye and skip what we don't like... which is not that big and it is far in the future.

There is a happy middle ground between "I reboot my story every time an idiot makes a groundless complaint" and "I am stubborn to the point of refusing to close plot holes"

 

[mrttao]

b. " Zomalia does not sound like a plausible country" - it is not meant to be plausible. It is an obstacle and a challenge, but our MC has to deal with it.

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Any creative endeavor — certainly any written creative endeavor — is only successful to the extent that the audience offers this willing suspension as they read, listen, or watch. It's part of an unspoken contract: The writer provides the reader/viewer/player with a good story, and in return, they accept the reality of the story as presented, and accept that characters in the fictional universe act on their own accord.

In other words, an author's work does not have to be realistic. It only has to be believable and internally consistent (and even the last requirement can be relieved to some extent). When the author pushes an audience beyond what they're willing to accept, the work fails in the eyes of that particular audience. Viewers are usually willing to go along with creative explanations for things, which is why people don't criticize your faster-than-light wormhole travel system or wonder how a shrinking potion doesn't violate the laws of matter conservation, but even in the more fantastical genres, suspension of disbelief can be broken when a work breaks its own established laws or asks the audience to put up with too many things that come off as contrived. A common way of putting this is "You can ask an audience to believe the impossible, but not the improbable." For example, people will accept that the Grand Mage can use a magic spell to teleport across the world, or that the spaceship has technology that makes it completely invisible without rendering its own sensors blind. But the audience won't accept that the ferocious carnivore just happened to have a heart attack and die right before it would have killed the main character, or that the hacker guessed his enemy's password on the first try just by typing random letters. Without some prior detail justifying it or one of the Rules listed below coming into play, an audience is going to cry foul, and their suspended disbelief is now at the forefront of their mind. What is impossible in Real Life just has to be made the norm in the setting and kept consistent for an audience to accept it.

If you break SoD for the sake of "creating a challenge" then you fail as an author
especially because it is not even all that hard to write actually plausible, internally consistent fantasy that the audience is willing to swallow

You can give us unrealistic stuff like magic and alternative worlds and isekai. But you gotta keep things plausible within the rules of the world you created. Thus we willingly suspend our disbelief.

If you break SoD by doing things that seem unreasonable, then it completely destroys immersion. Takes you out of the story, and ruins the ability to enjoy it.

 

[JustPeekin]

I really liked your game when I played 0.2 and the renders look very nice. But yeah... Once I saw the futa stuff was coming up I lost interest. Hope it won't take a full update.

 

[mrttao]

Since I like doing constructive criticism.
I mentioned before sandbox can handle incompatible content in a way a VN cannot.

But there is actually a way to have such content in a visual novel... and that is to have char creation.
You want to expand your game to lesbians and M2F trans?
at the very start of the game ask players to choose if their character is male, female, or trans.

I wouldn't really recommend it because it would be 3 separate games which will drastically slow down development.
But it is at least a plausible scenario to attract them as customers.

 

[JustPeekin]

Naw would be way too much work. Besides, it looks like the dev noticed hate for it, let's just hope it's a quick story arc (and able to avoid futa). Putting those options in the game would make more futa/trans content (and less of what we want).

 

[heyyoo]

it says futa/trans is there any yet and is it skipable or not?