I agree on most of what you said. But you are missing the point here...
I agree that not everything is NTR. But we do not have terms and tags for the things we are talking about. So we are using "NTR" as a general term here.
If something makes the player feel jealous, cucked, betrayed etc ... then we just say NTR.
We are not strictly talking about netorare.
As for you missing the point. You are totally off the mark with that loyalty quest stuff.
Nobody cares about the female charaters past. They could have fucked everything that moves, nobody cares.
But the moment they are on the team with the MC, they should stop fucking around, regardless of loyalty quests.
At least optionally.
Like you said, it would be great if there was the a tick option to disable the girls from fucking around at present.
Not fucking others characters, not fucking any monsters/xenos etc ...
The girls not talking about how they fucked something on the ship, no dialog that reflects that etc ...
It would still be horrible if we have to play up to the girls loyalty quest, in order for them to stop fucking others/xenos.
And if we do not do their loyalty quests, they fuck around and talk about it.... this is sad and depressing
Thats like getting sloppy seconds...
This is exactly what most of do not want from the game and want it to be optional.
If the girls are still fucking around, this will just make us dislike them. This will change our perception of them. They will be dead to us and we will have no interest towards them, or care about them.