Ren'Py Summer MC: That Time I Found a Magic Hypno Book [v0.14] [Hypnoink]

[HypnoInk]

Bookmarked! I always love mind control games so this one look like it got lot of potential, hope and wish Dev the best with the project
Can't wait to see more updates in the future

Thank you so much! I'll try to deliver my best.

 

[HypnoInk]

Well I think you got one right here

More seriously, though, I wish you the best and will keep an eye on this.

Cheers !

God damnit out of all the places, it had to be there haha. I'll fix it now.

 

[HypnoInk]

Done with the demo, it was a very nice start of the story. I wonder will we got MC real mom in the future updates as Love interest?

Thank you! But I'm sorry to tell you I won't add the real mom as a love interest.

 

[HypnoInk]

Please be good, please be good...



Well crap, that's not a good sign.



Yeah, "fist language" should be "first language". Not the best "fist impression", haha. I'll give it a shot anyway, though.

Yeah I just noticed TT.TT. I posted this late at night, so it slipped my mind.

 

[HypnoInk]

Is it animated ? or just static pics? thx.

As of now, just static pics. I am looking into the possibility of adding proper animated scenes.

 

[HypnoInk]

Okay, a few minutes in (literally just two or three minutes, I haven't gotten anywhere yet) and the writing is definitely better than the "fist impression" I expected. Often, when a game is posted on here by someone who's not a native English speaker, it's because they just use short sentences and don't consider the writing to be a very important part of the game. And if the writing isn't considered important in a game about mind control, that means the MC is just a quick excuse for generic sex, which I'm not interested in. But so far it definitely doesn't seem like you're half-assing the text to get to "the good parts", so that concern is quashed.

I haven't actually gotten anywhere yet, though, because I've already found three "mistakes" and wanted to post them while they're still fresh in my mind. First, when the protagonist says "I won't have to keep appearances", he should say "I won't have to keep up appearances". Second is when the character says, "Maybe it won't be as any other summer, uh." "It won't be as any other Summer" sounds a bit strange, although it's technically a correct sentence. It would sound a bit more normal as "It won't be the same as any other Summer". But I feel the "uh" is actually the bigger problem here, as people usually only say that in English if they're confused about something, like, "Uhhhhh... What?" I think what you were going for is usually written as "huh" instead of "uh". Out of curiosity, what's your native language? I've seen another game where someone used "uh" and "eh" instead of "huh" and "heh", and I've always wondered what language they're used to that usually leaves the "H" sound off of those words.

The most noticeable mistake so far, however, has been "feel yourself at home". This should be "make yourself at home".

Edit: Another obvious one. "Sended" should be "sent". ("Your parents sended everything earlier today.") I might not be able to point out any more, since stopping to keep track does get in the way of actually playing the game.

Thanks for pointing all of that out! It's a great help. I'll be sure to correct it in the future.

To answer your question, my native language is Spanish, although I'm not sure if that's the reason I wrote it like that. But now that you pointed it out, "huh" is definitely the expression I was going for.

 

[thevoid089]

Thank you! But I'm sorry to tell you I won't add the real mom as a love interest.

Sad! Oh well, hope that we at least got lot of Milfs to have fun with in the future updates. Beside the langue barrier and dialogue errors it was a good start so can't wait for more

 

[TheBlub]

i already love the game. i will wait for the next update with anticipation

 

[Anem]

Really nice intro. Will you be making a discord Server? Also if you like I could help with correcting spelling etc in the future updates, I like supporting promising games!

 

[Skankhunt 4 2 0]

Seems nice
Lets try

 

[AlphaFenrir123]

 

[Stela-chan]

mind control hmmmm ?

I will keep an eye on this one.

Glad to see a fellow mind control fan here.

 

[Axis3123]

OOoo, mind control? Good art?

I'm invested.

 

[loikl]

The corruption and harem tags are missing ... I hope that in the future it has those contents.

Good luck to the dev.

 

[Ilikecorruption]

This is amazing, i love the premise and that you start with someone who's already corrupted instead of the standard naked/hand job/oral/vaginal/anal levels. I think you're really creating something new with the genre and look forward to seeing what you're going to do next.

 

[heroes88ita]

mind control....good!very good!
hope to see some anal with hipnosys
the graphik sems ok...i'll come back with the next update my promising friend

 

[Legoguy]

I'm looking forward to this one, hopefully doesn't take long or isn't just abandoned like the other projects I've been excited about (also not that many spelling mistakes that I could noticed so far, that's always a good sign)

 

[axxrrl]

Pretty good

 

[Fzoner95]

I want to make it like sandbox game where you improve certain stats for the girls and then unlock scenes. As of now, I'm not looking into adding more girls. Kinda want a quality over quantity type of game.

Well, you started off with a lot of control over a major character ...

 

[FreakingBananas]

This game is good and all but wtf is up with holy music in the menu, Well there are Holy tits too but still