Since Syther did one I might as well give my far better senseful take on all the women and if/how I would personally approach them:
Amber:
I love her, especially more so later on when the relationship actually kicks off. She's just got a take no nonsense attitude but sweet and vulnerable later on because she trusts you. El waifu materiel!
-Looks wise my type, kills the goth look in a different way and her colors are better than her sister's. Her figure is also slightly different and she's incredibly thicc in that lower half. Beautiful smile.
Liz:
I know I say I hate her a lot and that will remain the same for my personal opinion of her. But I WILL say that I truly admire her care for Amber when the situation gets crazy enough (as a sibling myself) and her cute side of genuine love at the end of her arc. But at the end of the day I would've never had the patience of going through the questionable hoola hoops that is her arc, the pay off isn't THAT worth it.
-Looks wise not my type, I can see her nasty personality on her physically.
Emily:
This might be a nonsense take but you guys aren't innocent for not liking Alice, I don't really care for Emily. I'm trying to take looks out of the picture as much as possible otherwise I'd fuck them all. But Emily to me is just, "decent" "neutral" "plain". I don't know what else to tell y'all, I just don't vibe with her personality.
-Looks wise my type for SURE, I kill for ass and while she may not be toned I could care less, fat ass is fat ass. In addition the goth look is chef's kiss on her and she has a natural beauty in my opinion.
Shadow:
I'm all for her, she's a tsundere, those types are my weakness. I'd fuck that dog in a heart beat and she's got a protective nature even going so far as to understand Emily's Dad is trouble.
-Looks wise DEFINITELY my type, wolf gang PLUS black coat? I'm in.
Christine:
Easily my type of woman. Sure she shakes her ass for cash but that's just your average Mother with an OnlyFans or daughter on TikTok, what's new? At least in this case she has the balls to stick to one person and only fuck us, going so far as to be clingy enough to call us a boyfriend despite her very OPEN personality. I like her sexual joke-ish nature, shit I'm like that in real life so me and her would be the ultimate dream team of dirty filth. Going back on topic she's also very loyal, spending her time to genuinely care about Ella her friend going missing and looking for her. She's also one of the few people to be suspicious right away about very OBVIOUS flags of being a Superhuman or at the very least up to something. Smart cookies are an attractive trait on someone you wouldn't expect it from.
-Looks wise 50/50, I'm a fan of her proportions but facially nothing to write home about (personally).
Ella:
Oh boy you know I'm a simp for this bitch. Ella is a bit of a paradox, if she ever did what she did to Deryl to me irl, I'd silence her through death in a heartbeat, but ignoring her misdeeds when she wants to be nice, she is a very captivating individual. Her presences can even be considered soothing in a way, and strikes me as a fun but not too fun gal. I'm weird so to me she's definitely my kind of girl, unfortunate she's not a yandere, I'd kill for one of those unironically.
-Looks wise she is a 50/50 Emily type. I mean I love her goth look and her proportions are spectacular sometimes, but they aren't at the tippity top of my list compared to some here.
Jess:
I like her too, she seems like a very troubled dove. I'm a sucker for fixing people (within reason i.e Emily and Liz), and as an added bonus I like Jess's personality; TUSUNDERE!!! Working towards shy hard to get types are always worth while, as they usually become one of the most genuine people you'll ever meet. I respect her taking herself out of the abusive relationship, and I LOVE that she's a fangirl for our alter ego.
-Looks wise my type, love that red hair and slim figure.
Tess:
Personality wise I like her, not love her like I do Christine. I would also never date her as I'm just not a fan of her lifestyle. I'm not a party guy or into the whole sporty grind for the Olympics, though I do respect it. I know it sounds like I SHOULD like her due to what I was saying about Christine, but I'm also very loyal to an individual relationship with sprinkled threesomes with people close to us or open about our sexual preferences or lifestyles to people who would normally say you should keep it to yourself. While her blog literally SOUNDS like something I would do, I don't know how to explain it I just see her as fling material if that, more than I would consider an actual relationship.
-Looks wise not my type.
Alice:
I'll die on this hill, she is literally a checkbook for everything I LOVE about a woman. She has a tad tsundere side to herself when you get to know her she is SO cute. I love her lack of care for human life, which I know sounds dark but I'm referring to those that deserve it; those opposing Mafia members were not saints and I respect her being honest about who she is and doing anything necessary for the people she cares about. Gives off STRONG protective mother vibes which makes her waifu material. She's also reliable, and would most certainly have your back if you chose to burn the world down. I like her hard to get nature as well, corrupting her into being a lovable romantic would be fun. She's also honest with what she wants or likes, and doesn't hide if she doesn't want to do something or doesn't like it.
-Looks wise she checks EVERYTHING except for her tits which is weird I know. Her face outstanding, hair unique, natural diamond. And she's got a great ass which I am ALL for (only sexual feature I care about), and if I HAPPEN to change my mind about tits, they are there.
Michael:
I'd go gay for Michael in a heartbeat, I won't elaborate further.
-Looks wise not my type, but I do admire his teddy bear cuddle bod.
Tiffany:
Another person I despise almost everything about. I hate her backstabbing nature, I'm a BIG loyalty buff. I've personally had experience with my best friend since I was 6 betraying me by stealing from my little brother and lying to my face about it before moving away and cutting contact with me altogether. I also happen to be a big FAMILY guy, her trying to kill her Dad and marry off her sister like it's yesterday's garage I absolutely DESPISE. She has beef with Alice so that's yet another thing I hate about her. She also shares Liz's unawareness of what the fuck she is doing morally, so again she just sucks. Lack of personality, blackmails us, need I go on? A fucking terrible excuse of a human being.
-Looks wise I actually like her, blondes are a huge weakness and PALE SKIN?! She looks like an ice princess I am ALL for it, just wish I knew if she had a nice ass...
Claudia:
This one is odd because we have limited interaction with her. With time I think I COULD grow to love her, but right off the bat she's just too naive for me. I'm not a fan of the wholesome blissful personality stick, I find it tedious and exhausting to deal with. She's not a bad person to be around, but dating her or trying to connect with her just wouldn't work out, because I have a very realistic and negative understanding and outlook on life. The sentiment of, "life can always get better* or "look at the bright side" I just find as ludicrous, and having to live with that? I'll pass. Though I will say I do love her shy nature, she's very cute in a mature way.
-Looks wise much like her sister I'd have fun with. Blue hair and princess look with that skin, dayum! I haven't really seen her naked though so I wouldn't know if I would tackle any of her assets, again something that could be fixed with more time together.
Mia:
She's a child to me. I'd see her more as a little sister than I would a romantic interest, I'll pass.
-Looks wise she's adorable, but not my cup of tea in any regard really. Very pretty petite face and figure, which I am all for. But it's not petite and thicc SOOOO I don't really care, next!
Demi:
She's an odd one. Not in the way of how I'd like her personality, but more in the way of I have one thing I absolutely DESPISE about her. So as far as personality goes she is JUST my type. Having that open sexual nature also gets me in all the fun embarrassing moments we'd put ourselves in. Her little gremlin energy is also an adorable trait I like, anti government is an added bonus to that. She's just a fun time all round, I'd most certainly be interested in her, she's also the biggest fan of our alter ego. My ONLY problem with her is her morality. She just HATES killing and even hurting people, so much that she still likes Clover despite the emotional and physical abuse she received from her.
-Looks wise she checks almost ALL my boxes. Petite frame, white hair is different but VERY welcome. thicc fucking cheeks, the works! So good looking when she's slobbering on your dick hooo she's like a living fleshlight!
Clover:
Eh she's not my type, if anything I dislike her heavily. Bullying, really? The human race will never cease to amaze me. There was a period in my life where I grew up in a physically abusive and scary environment, Mom having cancer was an added emotional "bonus" with her also being under the abuse radar. I didn't turn into a huge fucking asshole and I don't see those reasons or anything like them to be an excuse for turning into a huge piece of shit to those around you. If anything it should make you more mature as it did for myself (I like to think) as it should reinforce being bad makes you just as dislike or turnable into that abusive figure in your own life. Bullying is a big no no trait for me so fuck her. I'm aware she was under the Demi influence as far as the majority of her arc, but I'm talking about the past. Disregarding all that again I'm not a sporty guy or a morally "justice for the sake justice!" character.
-Looks wise she's also a no go, I just don't care. If I could like one thing it would be her pretty green eyes, that's it, moving on...
Lola:
I don't like her. Strikes me as someone who sleeps around a lot which I know, sounds like me but I just have an astronomical libido and say stupid shit. I get manipulative for her own sake vibes and the fact that she brags to Amber if you sleep with her just rubs me as toxicity. Pass as a relationship, pass as a friend.
-Looks wise she looks like a downgraded Harley Quinn, bad Harley Quinn. Pigtails? Pass (unless it's for sex handles), face? Pass. Figure? Hard pass.
Kelsy:
Abusive cop? I don't need this game, I'm mixed I can just go outside! In all honesty I'm well aware of there being good cops and even know a few personally around where I live that I openly talk to. Kelsy doesn't strike me as bad, I respect her mentality of abusing the worst of the worst, they deserve no less much less the food we feed them. Bit of a dark take sure but suck my dick I don't care. Back on topic she's not my cup of tea, that being said I don't REALLY know that much about her so again, still a pass.
-Looks wise also not doing it for me. Red head gets me hot and bothered but other than that, nah.
Nikki:
I mean she's got that trickster sex stick to her, but she'd probably be more of a fling or a friend to me. Don't know much about her so I can't speak to her character, but I don't DISLIKE her? I would need more to go off of.
-Looks wise she's crazy. I happen to also be a fan of mixed girls and she definitely strikes that box. THICC ASS for the win, dark hair to boot!
Lucy:
I hate her yet respect her kinda. So she's an obvious no go, but I like her determination to save her child by any means necessary. Maybe it's because I had to take care of my Mom when she was near death's door similarly due to cancer, but I too would have done some nefarious shit if it meant saving her life.
But I also DESPISE WITH A GOD DAMN PASSION rape, and wouldn't even subject nice undeserving people to it to save my Mom so there is that...
-Looks wise I do like me some blondes but everything else? Nah, I'm good.
Liz& Amber's Mom:
Burn in the 7 hells
-Looks wise burn in hell.
Brianna:
Better cop, better copulation; Brianna is a perfected beaut! I like her shy nature and truly admire her strive for true justice. While I haven't seen her just mindlessly obey the law despite being in a position where she should hear someone out; I would HOPE that based on her personality she would be loyal enough to consider going against her nature for you. Easy waifu material right there, though her moral high ground is kind of annoying to my dark nature.
-Looks wise purple long hair really? Obvious go for! Her look is so unique and vibrant I love almost everything about her. Proportions aren't half bad either.
Angelina:
She is a 50/50 much like Emily. I enjoy her personality, she's very down to earth. But she's not PERSONALLY my cup of tea. She'd be a great friend, and she has an attractive aura of shyness to her, it's cute. She's also one of the few people to ask how you are despite not really being one of the "main bitches" in the game.
-Looks wise red head!!!!! BUT I don't care for the tits. I think she's got a cute face overall I'd sleep with her why not?
Laurie:
Oh such a sweetheart, I love her. So naive of the world and yet so brave when she requires it. I love her growth, her nerdy nature and her strong emotional bond to those around her. It's a very welcoming persona that I just adore. Her morality could use some work, being a little too much on the lighter side but that's part of her charm, EASY waifu.
-Looks wise I am perplexed by her hair, in a good way. I love her face and eyes, and her figure is just a natural good fit. She would be damn near perfect.
Bailey:
Hmm...pass. Boring, but I will say I like her breeding stick, one of my core kinks.
-Looks wise she also isn't my thing, swamp people just don't cut it. Even if I look at proportions she's not really my cup of tea, pass all round.
Danica:
She's a pass. Not a fan of her FUCKING WHINY attitude. Always got a frown like a stick is up her ass ugh the fucking worst. Loud and obnoxious are also very unattractive.
-Looks wise she's a pass as well. I respect the semi goth look I guess, but it's still not enough for me to want to sleep with her. No ass at all.
Zara:
She seemed nice from what I saw of her. Definitely like the aspect of wanting to be free to do whatever and wanting us to join them at S.I.N.
-Looks wise she is a looker, and I'm all for it. Proportions aside (cause I haven't seen enough), her color palette and structure is quite gorgeous, and those yellow eyes are soul crushing.
Alexis:
Eh I don't like her at all. Nothing personal she's just a little too whinny but if that's your thing go for it. Complains about everything has no real personality other than being a nasty fuck and that's about it.
-Looks wise she is incredibly beautiful. Red head (my weakness!), killer eyes, piercings to boot, and that pale skin. Those curves are mesmerizing, she could definitely pass for a fling if I had a muzzle.
Nicolette:
Ugh I DESPISE her SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO god damn much, more than I do anyone in this game, that's it, end of story.
-Looks wise I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole, fucking cunt.
Nyx:
We don't really know much about her, from what I do know I'd "like" her for now; nothing romantic. I respect her view on death and furthering your power through corruption, so that's a plus?
-Looks wise god she is a GEM. Her proportions are lackluster but I DO like her face and goth aesthetic. Green eyes for the win!
Lisa:
Um so while I don't really know anything about her she strikes me as a bubbly flirtatious type so my tea for a fling and maybe a relationship, but not for waifu material. More importantly onto her looks...
-Looks wise 10 OUT OF MOTHER FUCKING 10, dear god I've never been so bloody down bad for a level of THICCITYNESS in my entire life! Pale skin, cybernetics, dirty blonde, yellow eyes thicc thighs!!!! ASSSSS!!!! Gawwwwwwwwwww EASY smash, more so than anyone on this list.
That's my take, lemme know your thoughts, or don't up to you.
Edit: Sorry for my Lisa rant...
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