This is the second thing I've written with any real substance.
It's damned impressive then for you not being an experienced writer. I'm very much enjoying it and would almost certainly watch something like a premium streaming series based on it. It's that good.
My favorite character so far has been Emily, and I was so very glad to get to hook up with her at the second party. In particular I like how she implied there is a solid chance for a future relationship because she's 100% keeper material. I've been interested in a route with her since she was first introduced, and worked to get closer to her whenever I could, and it was very nice to have that pay off! I just don't want it to be a one and done thing, she's worth real love and not just a fuck.
Behind her is Mia, who is just made of adorable but I'm kinda rooting for her to end up with Jake so the poor bastard has a happy ending after all the hell he's been through in life. I'd also like to see Tess and Deryl actually date, he's open-minded enough to be cool with a very sexually active open relationship and maybe having a steady partner might settle her down just enough to have a sane life, being as she is now is fun for a while but not sustainable long term.
Ella... the very definition of hot as hell but dangerously crazy, so incredibly tempting but also like playing with nitroglycerine. About as perfect a plot engine character as it gets, you never know what complications she'll bring to the table but she is too important to ignore.
Alexis and Clark, as hot as she is Clark's actually a more likeable character and I hope his strength of positive character traits rubs off on her one of these days and she grows a conscience, compassion, code of ethics, etc.
I'm finding Alice and Tiffany sympathetic and genuinely want to help them resolve their troubles. Jess, on the other hand, I kinda feel sorry for her but she is enough of a bitch I can't help but feel she brings it on herself. If she can change for the better I'll root for her to get a happy ending with someone other than fucking Jared, who I so very much want to die and / or be completely humiliated and destroyed. She's burned her bridge with me though so she can have her happy ending somewhere else with someone I don't know because I'd be happy never seeing her again.
Christie is fun, hot, but beyond that I'm not quite sure how to feel about her.
Demi is cute and quirky, but better off being friendzoned especially until her actual gender can be confirmed.
Strangely, though I'm pretty sure they're meant to be main characters I feel very little for Liz and Amber either way. I don't dislike them or anything, but I'm just not terribly interested in them. They feel like those sort of "we drifted apart" friends where you wish them well but beyond that are just on separate paths.
A story like this lives and dies on its characters, and you've put together some really memorable and engaging ones. I'm along for the ride the whole way.
Oh, on a different note, I'd like to make a fetish request. I was sad not to see a tag for anal sex and would very much like seeing some of the male-on-female variety. In fact I was rather surprised, as I've always thought of goths and buttsex as being often linked. I mean, if it's not TMI I've been with three goth women in my time and all three enjoyed backdoor play. Goth porn also often features that kind of sex, I don't know if it's the taboo factor that makes it attractive to that personality type or what but it's definitely a thing. And while I know "big titty goth girlfriend" is a fetish all its own, I hope you won't neglect giving our MC some fine goth ass to play with.
Anyhow, keep up the good work!
