RPGM Sword Art Online: The Trap of Breath Concealed Magic [Part 2 v0.551] [Fujino]

[Entoma01]

Everything you say makes sense in the context of the story. It is about time for Kyouko gets involved in Asuna's development and the rewards system would be a good idea to get more favors from Asuna. It is the typical NTR scenario and I can see Fujino doing it. Personally as someone who does not like having a separate silhouette action, the only part I would not like is Kirito sensing silhouetted actions. This is just like the tree battle and we have to wait until the Recollection Room to get the complete version. Too bad there is no guarantee the complete version will be part of the same update as the silhouetted version.

I also hope Asuna will do more favors for Inoda not as a transaction but because all the previous actions have ingrained a desire to please Inoda. Like in Part 1, most of the their interaction was transactional because it was just Asuna paying back Inoda's help. Now we are doing the same things again so what was the point of their interactions in Part 1? If Asuna develops some unconscious desire to please Inoda now, it would mean all those things Inoda did to her in Part 1 had a effect.

Overall your story would make sense and I can see at least some parts of it being true in the next release.

You should have written to Fujino right after update 0.25, it's too late...

 

[albakr0ss]

The paragraphs have begun.

Just so much potential for this new game. It’s a known universe, with very notable characters, it literally has all the setup and history from the 1st game alone and the slow start has basically laid so much foundation for a good story to be told.

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

Just so much potential for this new game. It’s a known universe, with very notable characters, it literally has all the setup and history from the 1st game alone and the slow start has basically laid so much foundation for a good story to be told.

To be fair, the first bits don't matter much, ever since Part 1 Fujino has changed the Universe in several Canon-breaking ways and had the characters act like parodies of themselves, extra-so in Part 2 when 2 of the most notable ones are straight-up OCs with just the names in common with the original characters. Sure, the game is still way better than 99% of your average SAO NTR Hentai, but I wouldn't count the universe or Canon characters as part of its potential XD

 

[4-kun]

To be fair, the first bits don't matter much, ever since Part 1 Fujino has changed the Universe in several Canon-breaking ways and had the characters act like parodies of themselves, extra-so in Part 2 when 2 of the most notable ones are straight-up OCs with just the names in common with the original characters. Sure, the game is still way better than 99% of your average SAO NTR Hentai, but I wouldn't count the universe or Canon characters as part of its potential XD

agreed

I really don't understand why people consider this to be a good story. Part 1 was as typical of an NTR game as it could possibly be. There was no chemistry between the main characters to begin with. If it weren't for its well-known franchise, nobody would even believe that Kirito and Asuna are a couple. Both main characters are just flat NTR dummies, with the only interesting character being Inoda.

The extreme slowdown in progression and other changes in the world-building and character personalities in Part 2 make things even messier. Nothing makes any sense considering what and how things happened in Part 1.

That's definitely not what I would consider good storytelling

Fujino should've just kept things as they were in Part 1; then it would at least be consistent.
However, I understand that personal development is important, but doing it in the middle of a game is not a good idea.

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

agreed

I really don't understand why people consider this to be a good story. Part 1 was as typical of an NTR game as it could possibly be. There was no chemistry between the main characters to begin with. If it weren't for its well-known franchise, nobody would even believe that Kirito and Asuna are a couple. Both main characters are just flat NTR dummies, with the only interesting character being Inoda.

The extreme slowdown in progression and other changes in the world-building and character personalities in Part 2 make things even messier. Nothing makes any sense considering what and how things happened in Part 1.

That's definitely not what I would consider good storytelling

Fujino should've just kept things as they were in Part 1; then it would at least be consistent.
However, I understand that personal development is important, but doing it in the middle of a game is not a good idea.

Basically, it's because the reason an SAO NTR story would be popular is usually because people hates Kirito/SAO, so most people who does won't care for massive inconsistencies with the characters or universe, they have come for the NTR, and in this case almost exclusively to see Asuna getting stolen from Kirito. The thing is, Fujino's game is still at the very least above most SAO NTR content because it's actually a long story with some level of development while most of the former are 15 pages doujins where the rushed NTR plots feel even more, so despite how much Fujino's story is based around NTR cliches it still feels like a 'better story'. Also, given it's the first time he actually put effort into 'going slow' with the main heroine's corruption it also made it seem superior to his previous games story-wise (Before Part 2 made it so slow people started complaining about it like crazy).

Then again, I probably can't say much as I'm someone here not because I like NTR but because it's a good and animated/long source of SAO Hentai, and, as mentioned, still much better than your average NTR SAO Doujin #999, and mainly for Suguha who almost nobody cares for period compared to the main story of Asuna and Inoda, and I don't even really like NTR XD I DO admire the amount of effort and dedication Fujino put into the game, though, and keeps putting despite his crazy situation, to the point he moved to another country JUST so he could keep making his H-games, guy truly is built different.

 

[LordFrz]

agreed

I really don't understand why people consider this to be a good story. Part 1 was as typical of an NTR game as it could possibly be. There was no chemistry between the main characters to begin with. If it weren't for its well-known franchise, nobody would even believe that Kirito and Asuna are a couple. Both main characters are just flat NTR dummies, with the only interesting character being Inoda.

The extreme slowdown in progression and other changes in the world-building and character personalities in Part 2 make things even messier. Nothing makes any sense considering what and how things happened in Part 1.

That's definitely not what I would consider good storytelling

Fujino should've just kept things as they were in Part 1; then it would at least be consistent.
However, I understand that personal development is important, but doing it in the middle of a game is not a good idea.

If you find no chemestry between the MC and LI it is because this is a parody game and you dont have any investment into the original work, if you're not into the property that the game parodys you probably wont care too much for it. The point of a parody is to have the prebuild relationship and worldbuilding that doesnt need to be rebuilt from scratch.

I dont need every game to redefine NTR, all the NTR games I enjoy are the same shit, that's the point.

I do agree he should have stayed more consistent with part 1. Part 2 has been a bit of a mess after it poped off in popularity and Fujino started doin polls and changes based on angry feedback.

 

[4-kun]

If you find no chemestry between the MC and LI it is because this is a parody game and you dont have any investment into the original work, if you're not into the property that the game parodys you probably wont care too much for it. The point of a parody is to have the prebuild relationship and worldbuilding that doesnt need to be rebuilt from scratch.

I dont need every game to redefine NTR, all the NTR games I enjoy are the same shit, that's the point.

I do agree he should have stayed more consistent with part 1. Part 2 has been a bit of a mess after it poped off in popularity and Fujino started doin polls and changes based on angry feedback.

Just to clarify, I'm not evaluating the NTR tropes, and I understand what a parody is—I'm completely fine with it. What I'm trying to express is that I don't understand why people label it as "good storytelling" because, objectively, it doesn't meet the standards of good storytelling based on actual writing criteria. Just because the majority of stories in other games are even worse doesn't make this one good

Then again, I probably can't say much as I'm someone here not because I like NTR but because it's a good and animated/long source of SAO Hentai, and, as mentioned, still much better than your average NTR SAO Doujin #999, and mainly for Suguha who almost nobody cares for period compared to the main story of Asuna and Inoda, and I don't even really like NTR XD I DO admire the amount of effort and dedication Fujino put into the game, though, and keeps putting despite his crazy situation, to the point he moved to another country JUST so he could keep making his H-games, guy truly is built different.

I agree and am here for similar reasons.

 

[Knight6797]

No matter what happens, I am here for fujinos incredibly good animations and scenarios, that guy manages to make my dick explode within one singular scene I can trust him to make the game worthwhile.

 

[Sieglinnde]

If you find no chemestry between the MC and LI it is because this is a parody game and you dont have any investment into the original work, if you're not into the property that the game parodys you probably wont care too much for it

I guess it depends, I didn't watch the original work but... I also don't care much if there's no "chemistry". I mean, the minimum I would like them to establish is that they are both dating and that NTR happens from there... So at least I have in mind that, in effect, it is NTR because they are both dating... And I feel that the game It does it well, since it also shows us how they interact and share as a couple

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What I'm trying to express is that I don't understand why people label it as "good storytelling" because, objectively, it doesn't meet the standards of good storytelling based on actual writing criteria. Just because the majority of stories in other games are even worse doesn't make this one good

Maybe it's because usually, in games like this, when someone tries to rate that a game objectively doesn't have good writing or things like that it's just to detract merit from the work, you know? Since it's not like we are writers or anything like that

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[LordFrz]

Just to clarify, I'm not evaluating the NTR tropes, and I understand what a parody is—I'm completely fine with it. What I'm trying to express is that I don't understand why people label it as "good storytelling" because, objectively, it doesn't meet the standards of good storytelling based on actual writing criteria. Just because the majority of stories in other games are even worse doesn't make this one good



I agree and am here for similar reasons.

A "good story" is super subjective. You will never get everybody to agree on that, "actual writing criteria".

People see it as good storytelling not because other NTR is dog shit, but because they like this story. Its nothin more than that.

 

[4-kun]

Maybe it's because usually, in games like this, when someone tries to rate that a game objectively doesn't have good writing or things like that it's just to detract merit from the work, you know? Since it's not like we are writers or anything like that

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Once again, I wasn't providing a rating for the game; my arguments were directed at those who claim it has good storytelling.^^

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

Once again, I wasn't providing a rating for the game; my arguments were directed at those who claim it has good storytelling.^^

I will admit, I considered the twist with Suguha in the last update to be 'good' mainly because I like Sugu winning and SAO Reverse NTR (As it feels way more realistic to me than any of the thousands of same-y SAO NTR scenarios ), but also because I felt it massively subverted expectations and it was amazingly original of Fujino to suddenly break the usual NTR cliches while technically still following them (After all is just a win for Sugu and not for Kirito, who regardless of how her story develops towards him or not is still gonna lose Asuna to Inoda).

 

[4-kun]

A "good story" is super subjective. You will never get everybody to agree on that, "actual writing criteria".

People see it as good storytelling not because other NTR is dog shit, but because they like this story. Its nothin more than that.

I agree that the enjoyment of a story is subjective, but there are objective criteria to consider when evaluating storytelling, such as character development, worldbuilding, pacing, originality, and character motivations, etc.; These elements significantly contribute to the overall quality of a narrative, shaping how well the story engages its audience. While personal preferences play a role, these criteria provide a more nuanced assessment, allowing for a broader understanding of what makes storytelling effective.

No offense meant—I did a bit of cinematography in my college days, so I'm a bit biased towards professional criticism

 

[LordFrz]

I agree that the enjoyment of a story is subjective, but there are objective criteria to consider when evaluating storytelling, such as character development, worldbuilding, pacing, originality, and character motivations, etc.; These elements significantly contribute to the overall quality of a narrative, shaping how well the story engages its audience. While personal preferences play a role, these criteria provide a more nuanced assessment, allowing for a broader understanding of what makes storytelling effective.

No offense meant—I did a bit of cinematography in my college days, so I'm a bit biased towards professional criticism

I'm something of a scientist myself.

 

[Sieglinnde]

I will admit, I considered the twist with Suguha in the last update to be 'good' mainly because I like Sugu winning and SAO Reverse NTR (As it feels way more realistic to me than any of the thousands of same-y SAO NTR scenarios ), but also because I felt it massively subverted expectations and it was amazingly original of Fujino to suddenly break the usual NTR cliches while technically still following them (After all is just a win for Sugu and not for Kirito, who regardless of how her story develops towards him or not is still gonna lose Asuna to Inoda).

Honestly, I never followed Suguha's story because I don't enjoy the "Family NTR", and since Suguha is Kirito's sister... I never cared for the scenes that involved her

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

Honestly, I never followed Suguha's story because I don't enjoy the "Family NTR", and since Suguha is Kirito's sister... I never cared for the scenes that involved her

Yeah, like, the irony is that it's not REALLY NTR for her (Or for any non-Asuna girl in SAO,really), yet is always labeled/painted that way when people does NTR of SAO beyond Asuna when the only REAL NTR of any of the other girls would be if they stole Kirito themselves behind Asuna's back XD I just don't particularly care for NTR, though, plus both Suguha is my favorite SAO character and I happen to like KiriSugu too, while I couldn't care less about Asuna nowadays, so I have been playing since Part 1 for her more than the main story.

That is why the unexpected twist REALLY was to my liking, as I had already accepted she was either gonna end up like Hebishima's pregnant sex pet that he would discard when another new girl he liked came along (Like the previous 98 ones) or, in the 'best' case, get 'picked up' by Inoda if Hebishima was removed from the game, which is why I never really expected Fujino to suddenly have her go borderline Yandere and start fucking Kirito while he was out of it/in the game, it reminded me of my favorite SAO H-doujin and opened up a new possibility of her being the one who ends up getting rid of Hebishima herself in a karmically hilarious twist

 

[LordFrz]

Yeah, like, the irony is that it's not REALLY NTR for her (Or for any non-Asuna girl in SAO,really), yet is always labeled/painted that way when people does NTR of SAO beyond Asuna when the only REAL NTR of any of the other girls would be if they stole Kirito themselves behind Asuna's back XD I just don't particularly care for NTR, though, plus both Suguha is my favorite SAO character and I happen to like KiriSugu too, while I couldn't care less about Asuna nowadays, so I have been playing since Part 1 for her more than the main story.

That is why the unexpected twist REALLY was to my liking, as I had already accepted she was either gonna end up like Hebishima's pregnant sex pet that he would discard when another new girl he liked came along (Like the previous 98 ones) or, in the 'best' case, get 'picked up' by Inoda if Hebishima was removed from the game, which is why I never really expected Fujino to suddenly have her go borderline Yandere and start fucking Kirito while he was out of it/in the game, it reminded me of my favorite SAO H-doujin and opened up a new possibility of her being the one who ends up getting rid of Hebishima herself in a karmically hilarious twist

Just because its family and Kirito doesn't want to fuck her does not mean it's not real NTR still. It's just a different flavor. The feisty strong sister(they are cousins) is being lost. It still fits as NTR. Totally fine to not like that type of NTR though.

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

Just because its family and Kirito doesn't want to fuck her does not mean it's not real NTR still. It's just a different flavor. The feisty strong sister(they are cousins) is being lost. It still fits as NTR. Totally fine to not like that type of NTR though.

I mean, I don't particularly like any NTR in general really, but no, what I meant to say is that it's not it for a lot of reasons, even putting aside that a lot of people justify it like that nowadays despite how the very word, 'Netorare', means "stealing another's lover", the 'fetish' has just grown so much now people basically treats it as "any girl with any interest/closeness to the MC getting 'stolen' counts"

For Suguha's case, though, it's quite specific, Fujino literally had to rewrite her in a very specific way to make her fit into his 'NTR Narrative' here, from eliminating her entire arc (Despite the contradiction of it apparently still having happened given we got multiple confirmations of Sugou having been dealt with) so she hadn't come to terms already with her feelings for Kazuto to literally having her act like the "feisty strong sister", as you said, when this wasn't her character at all, in the series after Kazuto came back from SAO she's literally being ultra-sweet and constantly nice/supportive of him and only really gets 'feisty' at all in moments when they're joking around, usually with him being the one who starts it, but Fujino wrote her as someone who was constantly talking down and borderline bullying him/calling him out on the things he liked liked so she fit better in the 'cliche' XP Which is why I particularly found her in this game to be even less 'NTR' than he intended by specifically trying to write her as NTR-prone as he could. He couldn't really write Suguha anything like she really was supposed to be at all outside the moment she got 'sweet' towards Kazuto when they had a moment together (And that ironically just came back in the plot, WAY after she had been tricked, 'NTR-ed', and fucked repeatedly by Hebishima) back then because otherwise he wouldn't have been able to write her plot at all :O

 

[Sieglinnde]

I mean, I don't particularly like any NTR in general really, but no, what I meant to say is that it's not it for a lot of reasons, even putting aside that a lot of people justify it like that nowadays despite how the very word, 'Netorare', means "stealing another's lover", the 'fetish' has just grown so much now people basically treats it as "any girl with any interest/closeness to the MC getting 'stolen' counts"

In my view, although there is a general description for the NTR... At the end of the day the NTR depends on how each person feels it... I think it's really subjective... That is why there are games that present it in different ways, and you know that even if you know that you are going to find NTR, it gives you excitement to know how the author is going to do it...

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I know you don't like NTR, I just wanted to comment that

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

In my view, although there is a general description for the NTR... At the end of the day the NTR depends on how each person feels it... I think it's really subjective... That is why there are games that present it in different ways, and you know that even if you know that you are going to find NTR, it gives you excitement to know how the author is going to do it...

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I know you don't like NTR, I just wanted to comment that

Ah, that's entirely fair, yeah. I will admit I personally don't consider SAO 'NTR' for most of the girls to count because they canonically got past their feelings and actively support Kirito and Asuna's relationship, despite what most people thinks the series is like, which is something that makes it particularly 'unique' compared to your average 'Harem' series where all girls still keep fighting over the MC or the MC never actually gets together with any even if there is a girl he likes and he has shown attraction towards one or more of them XP