- Sep 26, 2021
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Why not lean into it, making it a femdom game lol
- Thread starter Zemax
- Start date
- Feb 4, 2024
- 776
- 2,176
Gladerine one example she's constantly snooping in MCs mind without the hint of remorse, only if it would help to resolve a conflict she grows a consciousness and doesn't do it
someone mentioned a Manga/Manwha (no idea) and if you got your inspiration from there and made her a Tsundere because she was one in the original story, just saying Tsundere Characters are in Harem mangas with the expressed purpose to let the MC not get physical with the girls which makes them utterly useless for AVN games if not handled careful, she needs to dial back her shenanigans by at least 70%
someone mentioned a Manga/Manwha (no idea) and if you got your inspiration from there and made her a Tsundere because she was one in the original story, just saying Tsundere Characters are in Harem mangas with the expressed purpose to let the MC not get physical with the girls which makes them utterly useless for AVN games if not handled careful, she needs to dial back her shenanigans by at least 70%
I’ll do that; I’m going to rewrite Aria.
Once I’ve done it and updated the version, I’m sure Zemax will let you all know. After all, he was the one who uploaded it to this platform without me realizing
- Feb 4, 2024
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i did send you a friend request on discord if you want i can give you my thought there with screenshots and so on its easier that way
- Sep 10, 2020
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I agree with everything Juerhullycin said. She is insufferable. I'm glad you're going to rework her. I understand that you want a weak MC to show progress but holy shit she was terrible.
- Jul 13, 2021
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I concur that Aria's behavior at first is confusing which puts the dynamics of her relationship with MC out of context. It makes it look like Aria in MC's mind is "the one" and he is willing to put up with any kind of crap from her just for some attention while she keeps him around as a mule. This contrasts MC's general demeanor, who is relatively balanced when interacting with other characters.
I also think you should try to work a bit more on MC's death scene (not talking about the kiss before the scene's rework, didn't care much for it in the first place anyway). The various actors act like it's not a big deal. Bella herself has a history with him but she cares more about expulsion than killing her childhood friend. Frankly, not a single person acts like their friend just died and not a single one of them has any assurances that it's actually possible to bring him back after Aria's failed attempts to communicate with the soul. It's confusing.
You obviously understand how to do scenes with peril and tension, as evidenced by how you wrote the mission scenes. So we either miss context and MC's death isn't a big deal in this universe, or it lacks the dramatic elements that would give it some impact.
Regarding polyamory, personally I'm fine with it, but you will get a ton of comments about it, especially from vocal minorities. It's better if you make it optional or make it so that MC can avoid these romantic relationships if they are integral to the story (or at the very least make it clear that this is how it's gonna be, it's better for people to avoid your game than damage it's reputation). As evidenced, your game was tagged with ntr and half the comments in this thread are about NTR when we had confirmation that this is a harem game. Also everyone here knows that polyamory (or at least implied polyamory) isn't NTR but they will actively choose to ignore it with various rationalizations.
Aside from that, the setting is quite good and the story has potential. Keep it up.
I also think you should try to work a bit more on MC's death scene (not talking about the kiss before the scene's rework, didn't care much for it in the first place anyway). The various actors act like it's not a big deal. Bella herself has a history with him but she cares more about expulsion than killing her childhood friend. Frankly, not a single person acts like their friend just died and not a single one of them has any assurances that it's actually possible to bring him back after Aria's failed attempts to communicate with the soul. It's confusing.
You obviously understand how to do scenes with peril and tension, as evidenced by how you wrote the mission scenes. So we either miss context and MC's death isn't a big deal in this universe, or it lacks the dramatic elements that would give it some impact.
Regarding polyamory, personally I'm fine with it, but you will get a ton of comments about it, especially from vocal minorities. It's better if you make it optional or make it so that MC can avoid these romantic relationships if they are integral to the story (or at the very least make it clear that this is how it's gonna be, it's better for people to avoid your game than damage it's reputation). As evidenced, your game was tagged with ntr and half the comments in this thread are about NTR when we had confirmation that this is a harem game. Also everyone here knows that polyamory (or at least implied polyamory) isn't NTR but they will actively choose to ignore it with various rationalizations.
Aside from that, the setting is quite good and the story has potential. Keep it up.
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- May 14, 2017
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Bella ain't a saint either, she acts pretty blasé about the fact that she killed the MC. She treats the situation more like she just knocked him out instead of murdering him. And to make matters worse, she purposely doesn't seek someone better qualified to handle the situation because she's scared of getting expelled. Her only saving grace is that you can at least call her out for ghosting you for a year. Which if you could do that more often would make the unlikeable characters make sense.
- Feb 8, 2023
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Do we get a chance to ditch Aria and Bella? It looks like the Goddess made it sound like this is the group he is stuck with, and we need to have patience. I mean, who kills someone and sits around acting like it was no big deal? I know it is your story to tell but dang he should be pissed it sounds like he doesn't remember seeing them make out or acting like he was no big deal. Hopefully, we get a choice to be pissed for a while at them but the abrupt ending will say otherwise until the next episode. Also even with all the feedback I bet others will play it again just to see if anything happens with Aria and Bella i was on the fence of just moving on but now I wonder was this planned as a hook?
- Feb 4, 2024
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true and i see it like you but its leagues better than before and you could also interpret it as she is secure in Nath's an Odette's Skills doesn't make it good, but i can life with it.
So I realize that you want the characters to be Bi or whatever, but to be honest that's more poly then harem so if you decide to stick with it then you're probably going to lose A decent number of harem fans, that being said you can salvage A good amount of them as long as you make those interactions optional, as in you can stop it from happening all together if you don't like it with maybe A quick option when you start the game to turn it on or off. If you still insist on having those scenes no matter what then at least make it clear in game that the MC is perfectly aware of what's going on and consented to all of it, also would be good idea to keep any scenes the MC isn't involved in to A minimum because otherwise it's going to likely feel NTRish even if it doesn't fit the exact definition of the term and to be honest the majority of people on this site aren't going to suddenly be okay with shit they don't like just because it doesn't fit the technical definition of A term as long as it feels similar regardless.
- Aug 19, 2022
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It's not even about "ntr" per se. It's all about that at least Aria sex scene is non avoidable which set her in stone as a LI, to which she pushed for it even when we rejected every point the games gave us, and then some cheap soap opera nonsense scene happens when she reunites with Bella. The scene with MC dead lacks explanation, because if not then it's stupid given that anyone with some grey matter would have contacted any authority or person that could help regardless given the dire situation of someone that is "precious" dying, to which you tried to make the scene "funny" but it didn't stick like that given that the MC was not only killed stupidly but humiliated in all forms for a prolonged period of time. One more thing that at least irked me was every single character just denigrating MC and just praising the fuck out of Aria and Bella, which, funnily enough, they were plain unlikeable. One thing I forgot, but I guess it's more of a gag, is the constant physical abuse of Aria to MC which is just ugh... but if it's more of a gag, I guess it's eh.
I would go an extra inch and say that you could leave everything as is but give us the option to reject Aria harshly given all the past grievances. A game that did this well was triple ex with the sister for example.
I would go an extra inch and say that you could leave everything as is but give us the option to reject Aria harshly given all the past grievances. A game that did this well was triple ex with the sister for example.
- Aug 4, 2017
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I tried the game today but couldn't stomach it. Shitty mc, shitty Li's and shitty harem... I read dev trying to rework some character or something...but clearly dev don't have any specific target for the game...Unless I read some positive comment about my problem, I am not trying it again... Very disappointed
- Aug 8, 2020
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I was the one that pointed out the anime, not that i mind it. just noticed the story beats.
Aria doesn't really bother me i saw her controlling/jealousy as insecurity, do agree that the kiss came out of left field though that feedback was already relayed and changed.
The way i read into her constantly mind reading the MC is that she was seeking confirmation and validation.
She obviously cares about the MC as she improves her skill with the expressed reason to help him pass the test.
overall i like the game so far, i think if some of the things such as "you need to carry me" would be re-framed into something seeking closeness to the MC would go a long way into appeasing the critics.
I'm no writer or storyteller but given what i know about the story it could be re-framed as abandonment issues, maybe something to do with her past as
she might've felt isolated from how that went about.
It's also touched upon a bit in the current dialog how
likely forming the (unhealthy) attachment to the MC that the possessiveness and jealousy stem from.
as i said not a writer, do with it as you will. just felt as instead of pointing at the "wrongs" might also provide my 2 seconds thought on how to possibly address some of it.
Aria doesn't really bother me i saw her controlling/jealousy as insecurity, do agree that the kiss came out of left field though that feedback was already relayed and changed.
The way i read into her constantly mind reading the MC is that she was seeking confirmation and validation.
She obviously cares about the MC as she improves her skill with the expressed reason to help him pass the test.
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overall i like the game so far, i think if some of the things such as "you need to carry me" would be re-framed into something seeking closeness to the MC would go a long way into appeasing the critics.
I'm no writer or storyteller but given what i know about the story it could be re-framed as abandonment issues, maybe something to do with her past as
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It's also touched upon a bit in the current dialog how
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as i said not a writer, do with it as you will. just felt as instead of pointing at the "wrongs" might also provide my 2 seconds thought on how to possibly address some of it.
- Aug 19, 2022
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Welcome to F95zone
Please submit to the Developers Badge, make a ticket here, And good Luck with your game Dev.
- Feb 26, 2021
- 1,277
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If you are taking suggestions, here's mine. Disregard if you're not taking any more suggestions. I put in "spoilers" for those not interested:
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That's all I can think of at the moment. Have a nice day.
I was liking the game initially, until i met that gym chick, who said something to Aria like I dont deserve her. when I Said i do, she gave me a ton of shit, which was a big turn off for me personally lol. I dont like being stomped on even Emotionally, And this didnt seem like one of those femdom games. also judging from other comments, it gets much worse with lesbian NTR later on. Ill pass for now.
Also game is too slow burn for my taste.
Also game is too slow burn for my taste.
- Sep 8, 2019
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damage is already done. Game got netorare tag and any new player who is looking for good harem immediately put this title to ignore
Aria is total garbage. I don't think rewrite/remove this one particular kissing scene will change anything. She still has uncontrollable lesbian tendencies, not to mention in love with Bella. In other scene she almost kissed another LI - Freya. Matter of time when she start telling MC all her past lesbian escapades with Bella or fantasies with other LI's. That nonsense is common in this genre
Reject her is not an option right now, she is main girl unfortunately
You talk about very vocal minorities as if implying that the people who don't like certain content are just a few. But then you admit that half of the comments are about ntr, then they are not "a few". I agree that the devs should make the games as they plan. But listening and adapting as much as possible without destroying the game's comments is not a bad idea. Wanting to give the idea that certain groups are a minority when we all know that is not true does not help.
and polyamory is not a harem. Some may like it but it's not what people looking for harem want to find
- Dec 4, 2017
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Aria is just a atrocious character and LI all arround imo, like man, i wanted to smack her face after 5min in and it didn't get better...
I honestly don't see how you can make her likeable.
The MC is another problem, him being weak and useless isn't the problem, him simping for a twat like Aria round the clock on the other hand is.
There was also the girl in the gym with her crap about not deserving Aria, all i thought was true, i really don't deserve her, no one does (well, that was until i meet Bella, which cared more about being expelled than killing her ''friend'')...we probably didn't mean the same thing.
Personaly i hate lesbian/bi crap in a harem, but i wouldn't ask a dev to change the characters.
Just give me a choice to either have a say if i'm ok with it or not, or even better give me the choice to give the boot to the LI's in question.
Having a choice which girls we want and which not is kinda the most basic and important thing, being forced to be with LI's you hate is the fastest way to ruin any fun in playing.
As for the scene with the kiss over the dead body...i mean, i have seen much, but that was a first...if your goal was to make me hate them more then i already did and make me want to have a nice revenge plot that's a mission accomplished.
Now see, i hate Aria and Bella isn't much better in my books.
So i really don't care much if Aria is having feelings for her ex, i want neither of them, but than give me the choice to give them both a piece of my mind and end any relationship with them, cause why would i want to be involved with such people...
If they are needed for the plot fine, doesn't mean we need to be romantically involved with them, or even friends, they are in a semi military organization they can work together if required.
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