- Nov 20, 2018
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"that actually works"? I understand having a preference, but MixDrop actually does work. It just may not be what you like.
- Thread starter monroe
- Start date
Gotta be honest, I have issues with MixDrop also recently. Won't download and just times out. Although when requesting something they definitely should have been politer about it.
- Nov 20, 2018
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Odd. I haven't seen any issues myself, but I also don't use it exclusively or anything. I go between file hosts, depending on various factors. For example, if I'm about to sleep and so will automatically be waiting to play something, I'll just download MixDrop or AnonFiles overnight and then the next day have the game to play when I'm not working. In this particular case, I used one of the standard game files from the OP, downloaded from WorkUpload.
- Feb 19, 2021
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Will the maniac kill any of the already introduced (or future) characters? That would be cool and intriguing! Of course, for drama and plot, because there are already plenty of games that spare players every step of the way!
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- May 2, 2021
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Why not? Certainly not as something that can't be avoided, but it should be an option. Otherwise, why this maniac and this mysticism around him at all?
Okay, I'm not saying kill Lisa or Grace, but one of the minor girls at least.
I just saw on the developer's patreon mention in the tags horror, murder ...
- Aug 3, 2019
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Let's just say, we might get to a point where almost all characters are fair game... So make the right choices...
- Feb 19, 2021
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Cool, thanks. It's just that, man, there's a lot of stories in games where they try to make drama, make you empathize, etc., but it's weak, at most upsetting for a girl of 10. It's much easier to kill one of the characters and it'll be stronger than any other drama.
- May 2, 2021
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Per the Dev, rape as a story plot point was unacceptable because this is a romantic novel.
But murder and mayhem is ok? LOL
But hey, it's his story. I'm here for the porn.
- Feb 19, 2021
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Well, I don't see the contradiction, the murders and horrors are an external setting. And the romance is about the relationship between the characters. it's also about the essence of the main character, about the fact that he's not just thinking with his penis, as sometimes happens in games.
maybe my opinion is strange - but contrasting things always reinforce each other.
- May 2, 2021
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I don't think your opinion is strange.
Having followed this post and this game from the beginning, I just feel like I am not getting the story that the Dev wanted to tell, and I personally wanted that story. And btw, I understand the reality of Devs needing to make money.
- Oct 9, 2017
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- Jan 23, 2018
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Came across a minor bug in the credit sequence. When the game tries to display the list of Alpha backers, there's an extra period in images.rpy where it calls for the actual image. The code is looking for 'end/alpha.png.', but the copy of Linux Mint I'm playing on doesn't seem to accept the extra period if I try to add it to the end of the filename.
If anybody else comes across this and wants to fix it, it's in line 11 of images.rpy. Just removing the extra period fixed it.
If anybody else comes across this and wants to fix it, it's in line 11 of images.rpy. Just removing the extra period fixed it.
- Jul 12, 2017
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Great post, sums up most of my issues with the game so far. Over all, the game is better than most, and I'll give some constructive criticism because I'd like to see this game go from good, to great. I'd like to preface this by saying I may refer to something as bad writing, but that doesn't mean you're a bad writer, and it doesn't mean it's all bad either. With that said, I'd also like to add to these points.
1. Inconsistencies: they have no food, so they order take-out pizza for dinner. The next morning Hazel cooks bacon and eggs for everyone at breakfast. So much for that empty fridge or cold pizza I guess. There's more inconsistencies in the writing, but this one really stood out since ordering pizza because there's no food was a "major event", for some reason. Also, the inconsistencies occurred in back-to-back scenes, which made it real jarring. I'll expand on "major events" later. Other continuity and consistency erros were covered really well by the OP.
2. Character behaviour: In my country, poking holes in your lovers condoms is sexual assault, and against the law. The assault usually comes with a prison sentences of around 2-5 years. The father maybe neglecting his wife, and she maybe suffering of premature empty nest syndrome, but he hasn't broken laws that result in a prison sentence either. Grace is a POS, period. No amount of rationalization or justification can excuse such a heinous act against someone you "love".
I suspect the writer originally wanted to have Grace raped at the company party, but thanks to Patreon, that wasn't an option. So they got creative, and added in the plot about her committing sexual assault by trying to get pregnant, and then having a miscarriage as a result of her being physically assaulted. Whether this is the case or not, it makes an unlikable character into an irredeemable character. Becoming an alcoholic, and a horrible wife and mother who's incapable of acting like an adult makes matters even worse. Grace becomes a raging alcoholic overnight, and unbearable to live with. She never talks to her adult children about why, and instead prefers them to just hate her without giving any explanation for her behaviour. Also, if David, her husband is working so much that she can't find the time to have a serious five minute conversation with him, then the marriage was in jeopardy already. The question is, if David is working this much, how are his two adult children not aware that their father is so busy he's not even available for a five minute conversation? Does he work 14 hours a day, 7 days a week?
As mentioned in the original post, and to pile on the mother, Grace: she yells at Lisa for not bringing more clothes, while she's the one who lied to her children, saying they're only be gone for a couple of days, not months. Seriously, what a psychopath. Also, the father being unconcerned with where his children are is a writer not injecting themselves into their characters to empathize with them, and make them act rationally or realistically. After all this time, and countless conversations about it, can Grace cook? We're given contradictory information about this so many times I got whiplash.
3. I am not a fan of dream sequences. In fact, the worst ending to any form of entertainment is: and then they woke up, or then their brain died after suffering severe trauma that gave them visions. Have you ever had someone tell you their dreams IRL? Do your eyes instantly glaze over in boredom? Why, because they didn't happen, so no one but the dreamer cares about them. Like narration, dreams are an easy way to express exposition or inner dialogue, but it's never ideal. The issue with this scene is that involves a character we're only introduced to within the dream, and narratively it adds nothing substantive. There are other ways of injecting arousing scenes into a narrative without compromising the relationships between characters and making them have sex, or even interacting with each other. While having sex the MC has flashbacks of his family members is doing it right, and a great touch. Despite what I've said about dream sequences, this is actually the least offensive writing issues I have with the game.
4. Meta narrative: this one is a major pet peeve of mine. Since the writer is writing their story from the perspective of multiple characters, they'll forget that the audience will often know things the characters don't. Yet, the characters act on knowledge the audience has, but not the characters. This comes up in bad writing so frequently, that many don't even notice it. Many of my friends hate watching movies with me, because I'll constantly interject with comments like "we know that, but that character doesn't." Once you're aware of the issue in entailment, you can't ignore it, and you'll notice it all the time in bad writing.
5. Major events: repetition and the mundane. In a word, editing. This is a point I'd like to add to list, as mentioned above in point one. This reminds me of Rian Johnson and his insistence to show the audience the most mundane actions, like zooming in on hands to watch a character pick something up, or showing characters walking somewhere in silence that's narratively useless. Japanese VN's do the same thing with dialogue, it's just verbal diarrhea spewing forth. Characters exchange the most trivial, uninteresting, and unnecessary dialogue back and forth incessantly. Dialogue, like everything else in entertainment has to serve a purpose. Is it giving insight into a characters personality or motivations, it is advancing the plot, is it providing exposition, etcetera.
There's a lot of repetition in the game, especially the dialogue. An example is most the early conversations between the MC and the aunt, Hazel. It's the same conversation, repeated ad nauseam. Another example of this: we're told about Lisa's interest in reading so many times it's like some new and weird Bechdel test: can anyone have a conversation with Lisa without mentioning her love for reading? She's still the best character in the game, and I suspect she's the authors favourite character too. There's some effort in providing characterization for her. While the MC is a blank slate, the aunt, Hazel is better developed. The only other prominent character is Grace, the mother, and she's a monster.
Also, there's a lot of time devoted to conversations and events that don't really serve a purpose, it feels a lot more like adding padding to the play time. This is nowhere as egregious as most "sandbox" adult games, where experiencing the trivial, repetitive, and unnecessary provides the majority of their content. I despise anything that doesn't respect my time and wastes it. So that's a win already. Tangent aside, remember to always ask yourself, what's the purpose of this scene. There's a lot of focus on dialogue and events that are mundane and add nothing to the narrative.
The contradictions and lack of continuity are an issue. There's some excessive and repetitive dialogue, narration, and events. While the character and events around Grace should be looked at. The first two issues could just be taken into consideration for future updates, but the issues with Grace's character should be changed. Her character is despicable, and editing these issues would drastically improve the VN. With all that said, I like the VN so far. I hope this comes across as constructive and not just critical, because that was my intent. Most of the writing is compelling, and I want to know what will happen next with the characters and the plot. That's always a positive and an accomplishment. I look forward to the next update.
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I'm fairly certain patreon has no rule against mentioning rape in a story. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
The Dev made it a point that there would be no NTR. In my opinion, a mother (the MC's mother) being a victim of rape would be seen as damaged goods by some players. Some would demand that the game be labelled as NTR.
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- Jul 12, 2017
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The whole NTR avoidance angle could be true, but Patreon has some weird guidelines on what it considers "glorification" of certain sexual acts. Only the developer knows for sure, which is why I said it just speculation on my part. I think changing the story to have Grace experience a sexual assault (either attempted or actual rape) would add to the gravitas of the narrative. Especially if the whole sexual assault on her husband, David by poking holes in his condoms was dropped from the plot. It would certainly make Grace a more sympathetic character, and would also work with the current narrative of how she is more modest about nudity even around other women. I know there's a real stigma around what's considered NTR, and I really don't like the fetish myself. I go into a long post about the nuances and context of NTR in this thread. Which is why I'd lean towards adding an attempted sexual assault. A marriage failing after one spouse experiences sexual assault and becomes incapable of expressing intimacy afterwards isn't unheard of. Like my entire OP, it's all just suggestions.
Offensive and graphic creations:
We understand that artists sometimes have to push boundaries to create thought-provoking art, so we don’t review offensive and graphic creations with strict black and white guidelines. We instead review creations in the context of the whole creator page.
However, we have zero tolerance when it comes to the glorification of sexual violence which includes bestiality, rape, and child exploitation (i.e., sexualized depiction of minors). This is true for illustrated, animated, or any other type of creations. Patreon reserves the right to review and remove accounts that may violate this guideline.
We also do not allow other fringe sexual fetish creations, such as incest, necrophilia, or fetish creations that are hard to distinguish from non-consensual sex.
We understand that some topics on this list such as incest or rape are a little bit more complicated because these situations are, unfortunately, part of real life. As a result, when reviewing these types of creations, the Trust and Safety team will take into consideration context including personal, historical or educational narrative. For example, survivor stories or fiction such as Lolita are allowed on Patreon.
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- May 2, 2021
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I take this as it is ok to talk about an incident that occurred as long as you don't depict it, i.e. you don't actually show it. Would you agree? Or not?
Patreon doesn't seem to have a problem with passedout / sleep sex, which is clearly rape. Another Dev was forced to take out all references to incest yet the graphic depiction of a woman getting abused while drunk and passed out was deemed ok.
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I agree. Though Patreon is really weird on what it considers "glorification". I'd think having a flashback of the incident, showing an initial attack, but not the act itself, and just having the mother describe the experience through dialogue would follow guidelines.