I was joking, but adaptation can be made without removing any charm of the original, off course different media different works, but it's full of popular tv series inspired by VN.
I would send this VN to Netflix anyway, at least its screenwriters may learn something.
- May 9, 2019
- 4,843
- 15,811
Well as long as the visual novel keeps being developed, it would be good to get more support for it.
- Dec 23, 2018
- 469
- 1,941
Luna is a woman of focus, commitment and sheer fucking will. She killed 3 of my men in a bar with a tampon.
I know Sir, I've heard the story
WITH A FUCKING TAMPON. WHO THE FUCK CAN DO THAT?
- Oct 1, 2017
- 11
- 15
Managed to play through this update.
Powerful stuff, well worth the wait. Loved this update as all of the others before.
It's just too bad that it takes so long between updates, but I understand since HopesGaming does most of it himself.
Keep doing what you do man, thank you so much for the awesome story
Powerful stuff, well worth the wait. Loved this update as all of the others before.
It's just too bad that it takes so long between updates, but I understand since HopesGaming does most of it himself.
Keep doing what you do man, thank you so much for the awesome story
- Jul 10, 2019
- 622
- 1,322
Beautiful update ,can't wait for the next update since we need our Splinter Cell stealth part.
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content.
Log in or register now.
- Aug 17, 2017
- 126
- 329
We need to scrap this game and focus fully on a Joey spin off series.
- Jul 19, 2018
- 86
- 130
Yup, Joey is fantastic. Also, in retrospect, I wish I would've choose the Short Version. 
To be fair it did warn me..
I have to say, this game keeps on giving. I just know every update no matter how small gives so much to the story and adds another layer to character depth. One thing I will say is I'm hoping to see is some mommy Cordia roleplay with main character. She's personally my favorite and any mother-son type interaction is A+ in my book. Already hints but nothing for certain yet. Regardless, keep up the amazing work!
To be fair it did warn me..I have to say, this game keeps on giving. I just know every update no matter how small gives so much to the story and adds another layer to character depth. One thing I will say is I'm hoping to see is some mommy Cordia roleplay with main character. She's personally my favorite and any mother-son type interaction is A+ in my book. Already hints but nothing for certain yet. Regardless, keep up the amazing work!
- Nov 13, 2017
- 324
- 398
I have to say, the use of "I did not break" by older luna came out of nowhere and in the wrong context. There was no reason for her to react like that after easily killing those folks. The whole scene lacks substance. I will explain why. The only way a real person would enter a traumatic shock like that is after experiencing TRAUMA. She didn't lose to those guys, she did not get beaten, she did not get kidnapped and tortured for Deluca information.
She just killed a few folks and displayed PTSD behaviour without experiencing the behavioural trigger. Only a real natural trigger such as the one I mentioned above can indeed push someone overboard into her facial expressions and the quote "I did not break". We find out later where the quote comes from and it ties nicely into the story but there's a massive hole that simply doesn't explain her behaviour and uttered words.
I understand you're borrowing scenes from famous and not so famous movies. Like the one (NAKED WEAPON year 2002) with the three young girls trained to be assassins until they grow up and in order for their training to be complete, Madam M in charge of the operation drugs them and has them raped by some three randoms so that they are not virgin anymore in order to complete seduction type assassinations amongst other things. Or Salt where young girls are paired with other girls for training and then asked to kill each other to complete their training. Or Kingsmen where young spies are asked to care for a pet for a long time and then force them to kill their pet to complete one stage of the training. Or the movie PET year 2016 with the girl kidnapped and trapped into a cage and forced to do bizarre things.
There are scenes borrowed from Godfather, John Wick, Kingsmen, Salt, Azumi, Kite .. etc. But that's OK.
This is not a complaint. But I want to point out that the scenes in those movies have substance behind them. If you really decided to continue this game as a story based game then you have to constantly ask the question "Why?".
Every time you finish a new scene, watch it, split it into chapters and always ask the question "Why". If you do that, then you'll avoid running into troublesome plot holes such as the Luna PTSD I did not break moment. Because in that particular case, the question "Why" would have lead you to re-write the story part right before it happened so that the whole scene warrants her behavioural display, ties into the scenario, and completely makes sense.
As it stands at the moment. When I watch that scene and I ask myself "Why?", Why does she express PTSD disorder both facially and verbally for the first time, out of nowhere and without it being triggered, I have no answer. There is no catalyst to induce the scene. Do you understand what I'm talking about somewhat? It's all about context and substance.
As an example, in SCARFACE, the character Tony Montana starts shouting "Say hello to my lil' friend" and goes all out guns blazing. When asking the question "Why", Why would a man like that do such a thing when he could just about do anything else. Like run away through the back door, out the window or simply hide somewhere or break down crying in fear. He does none of those because there IS in fact an answer to the question "Why".
The answer to why? : Because there is no way out, no back door, there are assassins everywhere surrounding the entire mansion, there is nowhere to hide, he is not the type of man to break out crying and he is in shock after many of his men and Gina are killed while riding the highest high on a mountain of cocaine turning delirious AND therefore wants to go out all guns blazing! Which is exactly why he does so! The whole scene explains itself.
Also a suggestion: I wouldn't mind if you add more Mafia scenes and story similar to the ones in LA BELLA MAFIA. Which is just as good as The Godfather. Heck, you can even borrow scenes from The Darkness. The Mafia Game where the main character keeps seeing his dead girlfriend/wife, re living the past memories vividly on a constant basis, whenever he is alone after coming home from the daily rampage.
She just killed a few folks and displayed PTSD behaviour without experiencing the behavioural trigger. Only a real natural trigger such as the one I mentioned above can indeed push someone overboard into her facial expressions and the quote "I did not break". We find out later where the quote comes from and it ties nicely into the story but there's a massive hole that simply doesn't explain her behaviour and uttered words.
I understand you're borrowing scenes from famous and not so famous movies. Like the one (NAKED WEAPON year 2002) with the three young girls trained to be assassins until they grow up and in order for their training to be complete, Madam M in charge of the operation drugs them and has them raped by some three randoms so that they are not virgin anymore in order to complete seduction type assassinations amongst other things. Or Salt where young girls are paired with other girls for training and then asked to kill each other to complete their training. Or Kingsmen where young spies are asked to care for a pet for a long time and then force them to kill their pet to complete one stage of the training. Or the movie PET year 2016 with the girl kidnapped and trapped into a cage and forced to do bizarre things.
There are scenes borrowed from Godfather, John Wick, Kingsmen, Salt, Azumi, Kite .. etc. But that's OK.
This is not a complaint. But I want to point out that the scenes in those movies have substance behind them. If you really decided to continue this game as a story based game then you have to constantly ask the question "Why?".
Every time you finish a new scene, watch it, split it into chapters and always ask the question "Why". If you do that, then you'll avoid running into troublesome plot holes such as the Luna PTSD I did not break moment. Because in that particular case, the question "Why" would have lead you to re-write the story part right before it happened so that the whole scene warrants her behavioural display, ties into the scenario, and completely makes sense.
As it stands at the moment. When I watch that scene and I ask myself "Why?", Why does she express PTSD disorder both facially and verbally for the first time, out of nowhere and without it being triggered, I have no answer. There is no catalyst to induce the scene. Do you understand what I'm talking about somewhat? It's all about context and substance.
As an example, in SCARFACE, the character Tony Montana starts shouting "Say hello to my lil' friend" and goes all out guns blazing. When asking the question "Why", Why would a man like that do such a thing when he could just about do anything else. Like run away through the back door, out the window or simply hide somewhere or break down crying in fear. He does none of those because there IS in fact an answer to the question "Why".
The answer to why? : Because there is no way out, no back door, there are assassins everywhere surrounding the entire mansion, there is nowhere to hide, he is not the type of man to break out crying and he is in shock after many of his men and Gina are killed while riding the highest high on a mountain of cocaine turning delirious AND therefore wants to go out all guns blazing! Which is exactly why he does so! The whole scene explains itself.
Also a suggestion: I wouldn't mind if you add more Mafia scenes and story similar to the ones in LA BELLA MAFIA. Which is just as good as The Godfather. Heck, you can even borrow scenes from The Darkness. The Mafia Game where the main character keeps seeing his dead girlfriend/wife, re living the past memories vividly on a constant basis, whenever he is alone after coming home from the daily rampage.
Last edited:
The trigger wasn't the dead of the bodyguard. That would be ridiculous as it's not the first time for her. It was seeing the shocked face of our mc. (A look that gave the impression that there was something wrong with her- that she was 'broken'.) It was that moment the realization hit her.
And if looking deeper into the relationship between the two of them and the sides and behavior Luna has shown towards the mc, it is pretty clear why she reacted as she did which I believe the majority of the readers did understand as you are the first one to see it as a plot hole.
It is true that I have been inspired by movies all from the likes of Godfather, Goodfellas and basically whatever I watched throughout my life. Like any author has.
With that said, the movie you speak of, I can honestly say I have no idea which movie that is. The whole scene was not based on anything like that. I created that myself without any references.
I thank you for the constructive criticism, but I believe I have a firm grasp on my story and my storytelling abilities.
- Nov 13, 2017
- 324
- 398
You do have a firm grasp on the storytelling. Hence why the only thing I constructively criticised is the PTSD moment (from the entire game).
If I were to really nitpick into the story, the only thing not sitting quite right is the MC being a coward and shooting blindly from behind the crates when earlier in the game he was Very Brave and was about to die to save Luna and her sister. But that's just a nit grit. It's fine as it is I guess. Some would say the MC hasn't yet made up his mind and is still looking for a way out of his predicament or that he simply does not like violence to begin with even though he would act if the situation called for it.
I have updated the above reply if you mind reading it again as it needed a bit of edit. And thanks for understanding that I only wanted to offer constrictive criticism. Many devs just turn into savage beasts if anyone says something on the negative side about their game.
I love your game and only want it to grow bigger and simply be the best story game on F95. Perhaps even outside of the site.
Thanks and have a good day.
If I were to really nitpick into the story, the only thing not sitting quite right is the MC being a coward and shooting blindly from behind the crates when earlier in the game he was Very Brave and was about to die to save Luna and her sister. But that's just a nit grit. It's fine as it is I guess. Some would say the MC hasn't yet made up his mind and is still looking for a way out of his predicament or that he simply does not like violence to begin with even though he would act if the situation called for it.
I have updated the above reply if you mind reading it again as it needed a bit of edit. And thanks for understanding that I only wanted to offer constrictive criticism. Many devs just turn into savage beasts if anyone says something on the negative side about their game.
I love your game and only want it to grow bigger and simply be the best story game on F95. Perhaps even outside of the site.
Thanks and have a good day.
Last edited:
I think I know what will happen in the update from Luna. She will fall for the Mysterious Six and Nero will go to save her. and It was with the elimination of the Six and the beginning of the transformation of the MC from the rank and file of the soldier of the family Deluka into the legends of the criminal world. "This is the Nero Delucca the one who alone put the whole Mysterious Six with saving Lady Cordia’s daughter."
I did read it. And I do see what you are trying to say with the different movie examples.
But as I mentioned, I think you just missed the whole relationship between mc and Luna. How Luna showed sides to MC that she hasn't done to anyone else and have 'let down' her barrier. He is the guy she fears would know her backstory. Fear he would think she was 'disgusting'. That look he showed her during that event triggered all that.
Also, I think you have misunderstood how trauma work. It doesn't have to be spectacular for it to trigger. No need for loud bangs or violence. A good example is from webmd 'Triggers can include sights, sounds, smells, or thoughts that remind you of the traumatic event in some way. Some PTSD triggers are obvious, such as seeing a news report of an assault. Others are less clear. For example, if you were attacked on a sunny day, seeing a bright blue sky might make you upset. '
About the mc coward situation- he is a coward, haha.
But even cowards can have their moments of bravados. It doesn't mean they suddenly lose all their fears and worries after that situation (he was even shaking during his bravado situation and could barely talk). It takes time to become truly involved in the underground life.
And for me not going savage like other devs; I can understand the devs. If there is anything they hate more than those negative people in a thread (that ofc comes back after every update even when they say they hate the game), then it is being told that they are not 'good enough'.
But at the same time, constructive criticism comes from people that have an interest in the work. And I do listen a lot to it (I just make it clear if I disagree, hehe).
- Nov 13, 2017
- 324
- 398
I think I understand what you're saying. There is a moment in the game where the MC can choose what he thinks of the entire Luna fight scene. I suppose it did not make sense to me because My choice was the third one "You're Awesome!". So in my head, the MC was thinking she is awesome and he likes her wild side or rather the brutal way she eliminated that Soldato.
I could not make the connection between "You're Awesome" and her reaction in this case for obvious reasons. It makes a lot of sense if any of the other two options are picked I'm sure, but because I picked the third option I didn't even imagine him being shocked due to her actions or her grotesque killing spree. Anyhow, the way you explain the scene makes sense now. I missed the whole point because I've chosen the third option leading me to believe that MC is actually super OK with her being a savage killer, therefore missing the whole shocked look on his face point.
I was wondering why the had the same look on his face regardless of the choice you pick, even though he (Me) was thinking she's awesome. LoL
I will make a mental note of that scene choice and replace it in my mind as "You're Awesome! But also WTF .." or something along those lines.
I could not make the connection between "You're Awesome" and her reaction in this case for obvious reasons. It makes a lot of sense if any of the other two options are picked I'm sure, but because I picked the third option I didn't even imagine him being shocked due to her actions or her grotesque killing spree. Anyhow, the way you explain the scene makes sense now. I missed the whole point because I've chosen the third option leading me to believe that MC is actually super OK with her being a savage killer, therefore missing the whole shocked look on his face point.
I was wondering why the had the same look on his face regardless of the choice you pick, even though he (Me) was thinking she's awesome. LoL
I will make a mental note of that scene choice and replace it in my mind as "You're Awesome! But also WTF .." or something along those lines.
Last edited:
Notice that no matter the option.I think I understand what you're saying. There is a moment in the game where the MC can choose what he thinks of the entire Luna fight scene. I suppose it did not make sense to me because My choice was the third one "You're Awesome!". So in my head, the MC was thinking she is awesome and he likes her wild side or rather the brutal way she eliminated that Soldato.
I didn't even make the connection between "You're Awesome" and her reaction. It makes a lot of sense if any of the other two options are picked I'm sure, but because I picked the third option I didn't even imagine him being shocked due to her actions or her grotesque killing spree.
I will make a mental note of that scene choice and replace it in my mind as "You're Awesome! But also WTF .." or something along those lines.
His face reaction stays the same. And even if he thinks it's awesome. He is still in shock.
In awe so to speak.
- Sep 22, 2019
- 198
- 379
For what little it's worth, the scene worked fine for me.
My takeaway was that denial is Luna's coping mechanism. She tells herself that it was just a bad experience that happened a long time ago, that she's really fine, that's she's not broken. Because deep down she knows that she did break and she doesn't believe she can heal. She's crazy, she's a freak, a monster, a murderer, its all her fault that Sofia died, etc, etc. And she's sure that if anyone knew the truth about what she really is they'd be horrified. They'd hate her.
After all, at that point the only people who know the full story at that point are Luna and Cordia*. She definitely hates herself and she's convinced that Cordia hates her too. If she had a flashback it probably wasn't to her actual captivity. It would have been to telling her mother what happened and finding out that Cordia wouldn't even look at her afterwards.
Personally my disappointment about the update was that I thought the end was the perfect place for the MC and Luna to have sex for the first time. I can understand why that wasn't feasible for 'production' reasons though.
*Yes, Gracie seems to have worked it out all as well, but Luna sees her as innocent and pure, so I suspect she doesn't acknowledge it. Wilfred may know also know everything, but he plays his cards so close to his chest that no one knows what he really thinks.
My takeaway was that denial is Luna's coping mechanism. She tells herself that it was just a bad experience that happened a long time ago, that she's really fine, that's she's not broken. Because deep down she knows that she did break and she doesn't believe she can heal. She's crazy, she's a freak, a monster, a murderer, its all her fault that Sofia died, etc, etc. And she's sure that if anyone knew the truth about what she really is they'd be horrified. They'd hate her.
After all, at that point the only people who know the full story at that point are Luna and Cordia*. She definitely hates herself and she's convinced that Cordia hates her too. If she had a flashback it probably wasn't to her actual captivity. It would have been to telling her mother what happened and finding out that Cordia wouldn't even look at her afterwards.
Personally my disappointment about the update was that I thought the end was the perfect place for the MC and Luna to have sex for the first time. I can understand why that wasn't feasible for 'production' reasons though.
*Yes, Gracie seems to have worked it out all as well, but Luna sees her as innocent and pure, so I suspect she doesn't acknowledge it. Wilfred may know also know everything, but he plays his cards so close to his chest that no one knows what he really thinks.
HopesGaming
I, for one, will start by being a little less laudatory. When you started saying that the update was gonna touch Luna's past and be dark, I braced for something truly heartbreaking, and while you delivered, I couldn't help but find the kidnapped children story unfolding before my eyes somewhat... cliché. Don't get me wrong, the fact that it happened at all was a refreshing surprise (or would have been if we weren't "teased" about darkness). Nonetheless, I couldn't help but find the unfolding of this part predictable starting from the moment sweet Luna was kidnapped (well, Wilfred told us most of it anyway). Maybe because, although I don't know the movie robertfierce talked about, the theme of kidnapped children trained to be killer has been done already in various media.
So, why I am telling you that? While I'm being the voice of dissonance, there's something I have to say as well. And it is that it doesn't matter to me if something is predictable as long as I'm into it. The best stories are more often than not those famous ones that have been told and retold over the centuries, polished by numerous talented people into what they are today, and this is because we instinctively know them that we can appreciate the author's writing abilities. The scene that really sold it to me was toward the end, when sweet Luna finally broke (and break she did, poor thing). When I saw that little girl with a crazy smile singing how she was gonna kill the mustachioed guy. This is where everything connected, this is where my throat found a lump, this is where my eyes got teary. And this is where you shined as an author, to me.
Because it doesn't matter if the unfolding of the story is predictable or not, what matters is that I care for these characters you invented. I used to find Luna cute and crazy, now I find her cute, crazy and strong as hell. I like her more than ever (especially after her reaction following the oath). Gracie also showed a new side of her personality that makes her twice more interesting. Wilfred and Cordia as well can now be seen differently. In fact, the revelation about Luna's past changes everything and at the same time, it validates everything. And that's great authoring skills here!
So keep up the good work, and don't worry about being influenced by mafia movies and/or books, this is a mafia game, for Joey's sake!
I, for one, will start by being a little less laudatory. When you started saying that the update was gonna touch Luna's past and be dark, I braced for something truly heartbreaking, and while you delivered, I couldn't help but find the kidnapped children story unfolding before my eyes somewhat... cliché. Don't get me wrong, the fact that it happened at all was a refreshing surprise (or would have been if we weren't "teased" about darkness). Nonetheless, I couldn't help but find the unfolding of this part predictable starting from the moment sweet Luna was kidnapped (well, Wilfred told us most of it anyway). Maybe because, although I don't know the movie robertfierce talked about, the theme of kidnapped children trained to be killer has been done already in various media.
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content.
Log in or register now.
So, why I am telling you that? While I'm being the voice of dissonance, there's something I have to say as well. And it is that it doesn't matter to me if something is predictable as long as I'm into it. The best stories are more often than not those famous ones that have been told and retold over the centuries, polished by numerous talented people into what they are today, and this is because we instinctively know them that we can appreciate the author's writing abilities. The scene that really sold it to me was toward the end, when sweet Luna finally broke (and break she did, poor thing). When I saw that little girl with a crazy smile singing how she was gonna kill the mustachioed guy. This is where everything connected, this is where my throat found a lump, this is where my eyes got teary. And this is where you shined as an author, to me.
Because it doesn't matter if the unfolding of the story is predictable or not, what matters is that I care for these characters you invented. I used to find Luna cute and crazy, now I find her cute, crazy and strong as hell. I like her more than ever (especially after her reaction following the oath). Gracie also showed a new side of her personality that makes her twice more interesting. Wilfred and Cordia as well can now be seen differently. In fact, the revelation about Luna's past changes everything and at the same time, it validates everything. And that's great authoring skills here!
So keep up the good work, and don't worry about being influenced by mafia movies and/or books, this is a mafia game, for Joey's sake!
- Jan 28, 2018
- 1,205
- 1,327
The kidnapped story is a bit cliche, but to be honest, I didn't know anything about this going in, and someone mentioned that you'll learn about Luna's past. Consider her age, it was easy to come up with the conclusion. I had kidnapped and put into a hunger games (i think that's how that story plays out anyway, never watched) or experiments as a child. And .... obviously correct. Not sure what else it would be and still make sense.
As for Luna's reaction and the I did not break line, I felt it was good and a bit obvious for the reasons mentioned above. It's clear the MC got passed barriers that no one else has, and his reaction would definitely be one that would perturbed her. As she mentioned, she didn't want him to know how she was, and call her disgusting, etc.
So aside from being a bit cliche'd which is a bit hard to do, it's a very well thought out scene and story.
Love it so far, and much different from what I was expecting just from the name. Especially given the whole lot ofincest landlady stories in this niche of games.
EDIT:
Oh, and Luna, best girl.
And final bit, maybe because the game isn't completed yet, but I do feel like there isn't enough to do given the amount of time you are given. Even more so, with the later quests requiring more days in between to continue. Would be nice if moving on with the story automatically move days to allow them to be completed earlier or something. Because it almost feels like a good bit of wasted time. Currently have 12k of money that I'll probably use a couple of thousands of, and get many thousands more as the game progress.
As for Luna's reaction and the I did not break line, I felt it was good and a bit obvious for the reasons mentioned above. It's clear the MC got passed barriers that no one else has, and his reaction would definitely be one that would perturbed her. As she mentioned, she didn't want him to know how she was, and call her disgusting, etc.
So aside from being a bit cliche'd which is a bit hard to do, it's a very well thought out scene and story.
Love it so far, and much different from what I was expecting just from the name. Especially given the whole lot of
EDIT:
Oh, and Luna, best girl.
And final bit, maybe because the game isn't completed yet, but I do feel like there isn't enough to do given the amount of time you are given. Even more so, with the later quests requiring more days in between to continue. Would be nice if moving on with the story automatically move days to allow them to be completed earlier or something. Because it almost feels like a good bit of wasted time. Currently have 12k of money that I'll probably use a couple of thousands of, and get many thousands more as the game progress.