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VN Ren'Py The Missing Part [Ch. 1] [jPk vns]

4.50 star(s) 8 Votes

Terminator_26F

Active Member
Apr 1, 2019
517
994
I just finished the prologue and I think I flooded my keyboard. I felt a similar emotion with "Acting Lessons", one of the very first VNs I watched, 6 or 7 years ago. Some other VNs have deeply moved me but not to this extent. Losing your wife and daughter one after the other, I don't know how I would have reacted because I had neither one nor the other. I hope the following chapters will be of the same quality. I'm ready, I bought a waterproof keyboard...
 

Hadron-5

Newbie
Jul 16, 2023
30
110
Good start for an emotional VN. Hits right in the feels.

The writing is a bit off unfortunately, as is common with the first chapter. Please cut down on the exposition and make the conversations less wooden in their style.
Try to make the characters say things that real people in that context might say rather than give the entirety of the context and background in the speech itself. I understand that you want the relevant information to come across, but the characters (all the employees in the hospital in particular) sound too much like AIs.

Trust your audience to figure things out on their own, and everyone will benefit. Readers will be more invested in a story if they have to participate, and you will find it a lot easier to write if you can focus on the things that matter in the text. Both of those seem quite important to the story you are wanting to portray.

Oh, and I'm deeply suspicious of the daughter's age. She is quite developed for an eight year old and sounds closer to ten or eleven.
 
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grahegri

sake, birds, torrents
Donor
Feb 23, 2023
10,213
5,680
TheMissingPart-Prologue
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DrakoGhoul

Engaged Member
Jul 13, 2018
3,285
12,391
The overview is pretty vague, which is fine as I'm assuming it's intentional. Everything else looks good though, so count me in. I'll play this one.
 

flaviopaganini

Well-Known Member
Feb 25, 2024
1,282
2,619
I really liked the content, but I'm still curious about the future focus of the VN. Will the protagonist become depressed, and will we have to choose the best partner to help him recover? I was a bit confused about the friend's role. Will he be a second protagonist who might cheat on his wife with the employees? It’s also unclear whether the protagonist is a partner in this company, and how that affects the potential LIs who work there.

MiltonPowers Dessolos Add this game to the backlog. For now, it's not an AVN, but it's an interesting VN.
 

MiltonPowers

Twins Basil! Twins!
Donor
Jul 26, 2023
8,805
16,712
I really liked the content, but I'm still curious about the future focus of the VN. Will the protagonist become depressed, and will we have to choose the best partner to help him recover? I was a bit confused about the friend's role. Will he be a second protagonist who might cheat on his wife with the employees? It’s also unclear whether the protagonist is a partner in this company, and how that affects the potential LIs who work there.

MiltonPowers Dessolos Add this game to the backlog. For now, it's not an AVN, but it's an interesting VN.
Thanks Mate. I added it to my Todo List. :)
 

Boneless987

New Member
Jun 2, 2024
10
1
It was very hard to reach end of prologue for me. Almost cried it. Well done dev. It seems very promising. That's very rare to find avns like this. My only negative thought is Ella and Maddy parts were very short so we couldn't bond with them enough. If there were more interaction scenes, then story could be more effective and hard-hitting.
 
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Dessolos

Devoted Member
Jul 25, 2017
11,754
15,140
I really liked the content, but I'm still curious about the future focus of the VN. Will the protagonist become depressed, and will we have to choose the best partner to help him recover? I was a bit confused about the friend's role. Will he be a second protagonist who might cheat on his wife with the employees? It’s also unclear whether the protagonist is a partner in this company, and how that affects the potential LIs who work there.

MiltonPowers Dessolos Add this game to the backlog. For now, it's not an AVN, but it's an interesting VN.
yup added it my list as well
 

Lady Lydia

Member
Sep 18, 2019
196
576
Whats the point of this prlogue? Unless you fuck some ghosts in the future
Its part as someone else said 'misery porn' for those that some thrive on depressing as Hell stories, part exposition for most LIs in the game. Still seriously I don't know what tags exist for that but this is missing some tags to point out how horribly disturbing this is, because as is the tags are extremely misleading. The bloody Dev should have been far less vague with his overview and warn of how grim this story turns out in the prologue, I'd personally have skipped if I had known since I stay away from anything I'd qualify as 'soul crushing drama', like this obviously is.

Seriously what the Hell is wrong with Devs to go to some of the greatest depth of depressing shit in a game that is pretty much advertised in its tags as a porn game. Make me depressed and pissed because my reaction to such a story is to feel down and my reaction to feeling down is wanting to feel better by beating the shit out whatever moron made me feel down.
 

FatGiant

Forum Fanatic
Jan 7, 2022
5,034
16,081
Whats the point of this prlogue? Unless you fuck some ghosts in the future
I take it you are not very practiced in the joys of reading. It's OK, it's not for everyone.

A Prologue, all of them, serves as a setting for the future story. It tells the readers why the characters act a certain way, what is their backstory, etc...

So, the "point" of this prologue, was to introduce the MC, let us readers know that he is a survivor of 2 major HITS, either of them capable to throw any person to the ground. It tells us also, that his mother and father have divorced, that his mother is trying to rebuild a relationship with him, that he isn't interested in. Tells us also, that the Nurse Sarah was deeply affected by the death of Maddy. That his best friend, Benjamin (Ben) and his wife Vicky, are very much worried about the MC and fully aware f what this second HIT can do to him.

It also tells us, that the MC will blame himself for not being by Maddy's side when she died. That Nurse Sarah will also blame herself.

It also introduces the Mysterious disease/condition/problem that killed both mother and daughter, possibly even Ella's parents.

Your question also tells ME, that all this that I typed was a waste of time, because it's too long and you will not read or understand even...

Toodles.

Peace :(
 

LadySpider

Member
May 24, 2021
162
464
This game REALLY needed a disclaimer that the prologue will make you cry like a baby back bitch - cause at least I did.

I will say the only thing I wished for from this, was a bit more content with Ella, but besides that it was brilliant. I normally don't like prologue, but this was pretty much perfect for setting up the story. Will gladly keep my eye out for future updates.
 
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flaviopaganini

Well-Known Member
Feb 25, 2024
1,282
2,619
Its part as someone else said 'misery porn' for those that some thrive on depressing as Hell stories, part exposition for most LIs in the game. Still seriously I don't know what tags exist for that but this is missing some tags to point out how horribly disturbing this is, because as is the tags are extremely misleading. The bloody Dev should have been far less vague with his overview and warn of how grim this story turns out in the prologue, I'd personally have skipped if I had known since I stay away from anything I'd qualify as 'soul crushing drama', like this obviously is.

Seriously what the Hell is wrong with Devs to go to some of the greatest depth of depressing shit in a game that is pretty much advertised in its tags as a porn game. Make me depressed and pissed because my reaction to such a story is to feel down and my reaction to feeling down is wanting to feel better by beating the shit out whatever moron made me feel down.
I don't know if we can blame the DEV, I don't know who uploaded this here, but from what I saw on the Dev's page, he seems to be quite honest.

Published 2 days ago
Status
Platforms , ,

Rating
Rated 4.5 out of 5 stars


(2total ratings)
Author Genre T ags , , ,
You are a man who has lost what was most important to him. In the prologue, learn all about the events that led you to the current point in your life.

Then decide for yourself how to deal with your grief. Will you find a way out of your pain, or will you trade one emptiness for another?

Meet your potential love interests who can accompany you on your way out or watch you as you continue your descent.

The prologue of the game is structured in a kinetic novel style.

Starting from chapter 1, you have routes and options to choose from to follow your desired path.

Adult content, which is part of the main story, is planned from chapter 2 onwards. Bonus adult content was added at the end of the prologue and will be added at the end of chapter 1.
 

vs2011xyz

Well-Known Member
May 18, 2021
1,568
796
Unofficial Android port for The Missing Part [Prologue] [jPk vns]

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Download android port
(591 MB)

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*This unofficial port/mod is not released by developer, download at your own risk.
Thanks
 

ElukiaTV

Active Member
Mar 11, 2019
684
919
Man, made me feel things..
hell i admit i cried a bit at the end. Even if i knew it was comming.
Really nice execution dev.
Hope to see more of this in the future!
 
4.50 star(s) 8 Votes