VN Ren'Py The Missing Part [Ch. 2] [jPk vns]

[Krytax123]

Yeah my issue is mainly that nothing was at all realistic in the opening. Nothing. Complete and utter fantasy from his age (to how old he looks), his dress, style, what is said about it...the way he acts....

Spoiler: Pedantic ramblings for those interested

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

However, as you say and I said in my previous, after the first couple of time skips.....it does become a seriously good VN, well written mostly and definitely now has me hooked. I would say my only complaint from a plot perspective is that this is yet another dev following the latest trend of having everything interconnected and intertwinnied. It's already an old trope and done to death, not just here but in mainstream media also. I just can't wait (/s) until we find out that Hailey is also somehow interrelated to us/Ella too.

Agree with many of your points.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Yeah i feel the same, there is a very sudden and huge gap in quality, everything got kinda out of nowhere so much better, even the MC's looks lol

The way he talked about his mom wanting to "show him off" and is only competing about status with her "friends" all kinda sounded very far-fetched too, like a clownish evil/dumb potrayal of the upper class. And i struggle to imagine how such a shitty and insecure guy ("i dont want people to talk bad about me when they see us together" buhuuu) into such a cool dude.

But i guess that was Ella magic

I was close to quitting this avn in the prologue (im very glad i kept going) too

But how do you get the impression of him being lead around by a dog collar? I just see a guy going with the flow, trying to distract himself as good as possible. Care to show some examples? Im curious

 

[BobTheDuck]

Hmm....agree with most of that...I personally saw the daddy comment from Emily being more about he just lost his daughter...nothing to do with his father.

I like the phrase on a personal level in my own relationships...doesn't phase me in the slightest, but in the context of this story and timing...too soon.

Same, I thougth it was mainly because of his recent experience, but just like Ella wanted a family to make up for her own depressing upbringing, how do we know that the MC didn't also want a family to make up for his own upbringing, to prove he's not a consequence, but able to create his own futures?

That's just a personal opinion, but th MC's dad is mentioned quite a few times that seem to foreshadow something.

 

[Maviarab]

That's just a personal opinion, but th MC's dad is mentioned quite a few times that seem to foreshadow something.

Yeah he obviously wasn't a well liked individual...by anyone if we go off the MC's words.

 

[BobTheDuck]

Yeah he obviously wasn't a well liked individual...by anyone if we go off the MC's words.

Also an assumption - whatever the drama is with his dad, the MC tolerates his mom, who he sees as shallow and uncaring, but Ben and Vicky let her caretake. Ben jokes about the dad, th MC goes deadpan in a second. So I assume the MC's father and mother are separated, and the dad did something the MC considers unforgiveable, while his mother is seen as being uncaring at worst.

 

[Krytax123]

Also an assumption - whatever the drama is with his dad, the MC tolerates his mom, who he sees as shallow and uncaring, but Ben and Vicky let her caretake. Ben jokes about the dad, th MC goes deadpan in a second. So I assume the MC's father and mother are separated, and the dad did something the MC considers unforgiveable, while his mother is seen as being uncaring at worst.

I wouldnt be surprised if the dad tried to destroy the mc/ella relationship and mabye disinherited him over it but its probably worse

 

[Boehser Onkel]

Also an assumption - whatever the drama is with his dad, the MC tolerates his mom, who he sees as shallow and uncaring, but Ben and Vicky let her caretake. Ben jokes about the dad, th MC goes deadpan in a second. So I assume the MC's father and mother are separated, and the dad did something the MC considers unforgiveable, while his mother is seen as being uncaring at worst.

as far as i got it , its because ella wanted contact with her
ben and vicky - as mentioned at the graveyard - set strict rules for the care

 

[Blackheartz_]

I'd assume it's Madelyn, since he didn't want to spoil chapter 2, and she is pretty much the only new character there that could potentially become a new LI.

yeah i know who he was reffering to....i just didnt wanna spoil it either.

 

[yossa999]

And i struggle to imagine how such a shitty and insecure guy ("i dont want people to talk bad about me when they see us together" buhuuu) into such a cool dude.

Let me help you imagine. Imagine there's an AVN where a rich and arrogant guy tries to win a girl over by bragging about his parents' money, his background, his last name, and she tells him that there are dime of dozens like him, and then she finishes him off by telling him her last name, and it turns out that her family is no less rich and successful, and even their families have a joint business. And then, after some time, she tells her new boyfriend about this guy. She even dated that rich guy for a while, but he behaved like a hypocrite with her, treating her completely differently in front of his friends, with disdain. Apparently, he was very worried about his reputation.

But despite this, he realized his mistakes, turned out to be a pretty cool guy, and they even became friends with this rich girl's boyfriend. He even lent him his cool convertible!

So, although Ella is an orphan and poor, I don't see how their story with our MC is worse than the one I described. All the veneer of snobbery and elitism fell off the MC the moment he realized that he had met the future mother of his children.

 

[John972]

Yeah i feel the same, there is a very sudden and huge gap in quality, everything got kinda out of nowhere so much better, even the MC's looks lol

The way he talked about his mom wanting to "show him off" and is only competing about status with her "friends" all kinda sounded very far-fetched too, like a clownish evil/dumb potrayal of the upper class. And i struggle to imagine how such a shitty and insecure guy ("i dont want people to talk bad about me when they see us together" buhuuu) into such a cool dude.

But i guess that was Ella magic

I was close to quitting this avn in the prologue (im very glad i kept going) too

But how do you get the impression of him being lead around by a dog collar? I just see a guy going with the flow, trying to distract himself as good as possible. Care to show some examples? Im curious

Well, there's Viktoria, but then, not many people say no to her : )

Ella in the prologue is the first obvious example of the MC bending to someones will.

Charlotte Williams puts the MC in his place on the bridge, and he takes her rude and insulting behavior without much pushback. He allows himself to be meekly taken off the bridge. I know her behavior is just who she is, but the MC doesn't immediately know that. I think it's intriguing that Charlotte chose to help this stranger on the bridge (and I wonder if it involves how her husband died), but, considering she acted like the spitting image of the MC's mother, I expected him to tell her to fuck off and leave him alone.

There are many other examples of the LIs being rude and domineering without much pushback by the MC.

Sarah at the hospital: "Just shut up and move. I can't take your stupid jokes right now. And wipe that smirk off your face." Besides, the MC had visited her once by the lake, but in the hospital scene she acts like she's getting ghosted by a long-time boyfriend. She then demands the MC go to her place, and the MC meekly complies.

Even if the MC decides to bring Hailey down a peg or two, he still allows her to cross boundaries of acceptable behavior in a professional working relationship, especially given he is her boss. Witness the scene where Hailey had her dress ridden up while wearing headphones in the office. She makes accusatory remarks to the MC, doesn't apologize, calls the MC (her boss) an idiot, and the MC let it ride. It's strange how the MC can joke and tease on some occasions but then be stern and humorless on others - the same applies in his interactions with Emily.

Ella seemed to "wear the pants" in her marriage to the MC. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it's just an observation that Ella seemed to be the dominant partner, and the MC seemed to go with whatever she decided. With the MC's interactions with Lisa and Sarah, both those woman seem to have dominance in the relationships so far (granted, Lisa is the MC's "boss" at the charity). Hailey seems to be slowly exerting dominance as well.

The MC didn't get where he is in his professional career by being a shrinking violet. So, to me, it seems strange (but perhaps not out of character given his mother) that the MC bends so easily to the will of the women in his life.

I say all this because the MC acts the same as several people I've known throughout my life - men who are happy to leave all the decision-making to their partners.

 

[Krytax123]

Let me help you imagine. Imagine there's an AVN where a rich and arrogant guy tries to win a girl over by bragging about his parents' money, his background, his last name, and she tells him that there are dime of dozens like him, and then she finishes him off by telling him her last name, and it turns out that her family is no less rich and successful, and even their families have a joint business. And then, after some time, she tells her new boyfriend about this guy. She even dated that rich guy for a while, but he behaved like a hypocrite with her, treating her completely differently in front of his friends, with disdain. Apparently, he was very worried about his reputation.

But despite this, he realized his mistakes, turned out to be a pretty cool guy, and they even became friends with this rich girl's boyfriend. He even lent him his cool convertible!

So, although Ella is an orphan and poor, I don't see how their story with our MC is worse than the one I described. All the veneer of snobbery and elitism fell off the MC the moment he realized that he had met the future mother of his children.

There's a difference between behaving different with your buddys compared to with your girl alone and maybe going along with peer pressure (i doubt he treated her bad, was probably more like way less attentive and so on) and a guy who's despite supposedly rich, good looking and liked too shallow and insecure to be seen with a pretty girl just because shes poor.

Thats a level of shallowness thats more like tybalt than rusty.

But i already agreed that it was Ella magic anyway, she could apparently influence people to their core in a positive way and makes me even more sad that we didnt saw more of her

 

[Krytax123]

Well, there's Viktoria, but then, not many people say no to her : )

Ella in the prologue is the first obvious example of the MC bending to someones will.

Charlotte Williams puts the MC in his place on the bridge, and he takes her rude and insulting behavior without much pushback. He allows himself to be meekly taken off the bridge. I know her behavior is just who she is, but the MC doesn't immediately know that. I think it's intriguing that Charlotte chose to help this stranger on the bridge (and I wonder if it involves how her husband died), but, considering she acted like the spitting image of the MC's mother, I expected him to tell her to fuck off and leave him alone.

There are many other examples of the LIs being rude and domineering without much pushback by the MC.

Sarah at the hospital: "Just shut up and move. I can't take your stupid jokes right now. And wipe that smirk off your face." Besides, the MC had visited her once by the lake, but in the hospital scene she acts like she's getting ghosted by a long-time boyfriend. She then demands the MC go to her place, and the MC meekly complies.

Oh wow, i interpreted neither of these scenes like that at all other than Ella and this was apparently her thing lol

I didnt saw Sarah as domineering, she was just embarrassed imo and the mc was teasing her, accepting a invitation is hardly being controlled or meek lol.

Vicky just gives older careing sister vibes off to me, shes just trying to help a friend but not dictating anything and MC was already in his head for 6 weeks when she tried to get him going again

The charlotte scene felt very different to me too, imo it was a conscious decision by charlotte to behave like that because he was suicidal. She caught him off guard with her act and in a different way to someone who would have talked in a overly careing way.

And despite her words, rude attitude and saying shes doing this because of the property value (lol), she did cared and the MC was aware of it. And even than she did not tried to force him to step back / dont jump, she just helped him to come to an own conclusion. Her rude act was (imo) a way to penetrate his mental defenses which he recognized.

Even if the MC decides to bring Hailey down a peg or two, he still allows her to cross boundaries of acceptable behavior in a professional working relationship, especially given he is her boss. Witness the scene where Hailey had her dress ridden up while wearing headphones in the office. She makes accusatory remarks to the MC, doesn't apologize, calls the MC (her boss) an idiot, and the MC let it ride. It's strange how the MC can joke and tease on some occasions but then be stern and humorless on others - the same applies in his interactions with Emily.

Ella seemed to "wear the pants" in her marriage to the MC. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it's just an observation that Ella seemed to be the dominant partner, and the MC seemed to go with whatever she decided. With the MC's interactions with Lisa and Sarah, both those woman seem to have dominance in the relationships so far (granted, Lisa is the MC's "boss" at the charity). Hailey seems to be slowly exerting dominance as well.

The MC didn't get where he is in his professional career by being a shrinking violet. So, to me, it seems strange (but perhaps not out of character given his mother) that the MC bends so easily to the will of the women in his life.

Yeah well, he allows it because he apparently wants it lol, he was shown to be able to set boundaries and be strict with haily IF he wants to. He was only stern in the beginning or when she fucks up work related otherwise hes laid back (but imo not at all meek) and obviously enjoys these things.

The only time i remember him ever being stern with Emily is when she called him daddy which is reasonable.

Furthermore the MC seems to enjoy to be underestimated but imo thats because of confidence and not because he lets the girls dominate him.

I see none of these girls exerting any kind of dominance really, i never saw the MC bending to anyone but ella, he goes with the flow if its stuff he likes and otherwise puts an stop to it immediatly (aka Daddy).

And even with Ella, we have no clue of their relationship dynamics, in good relationships both are wearing the pants (imo). We only saw the MC easily convinced to tag along (because he could evade the date and there are worse things than have some spontaneous fun with a pretty chick) and the name for their daughter.

MC could have influenced Ella in other areas as she did him

But anyway, interesting how different we look at the same things happening, usually our opinions/viewpoints are often quite similar

 

[Quetzzz]

And even with Ella, we have no clue of their relationship dynamics, in good relationships both are wearing the pants (imo). We only saw the MC easily convinced to tag along (because he could evade the date and there are worse things than have some spontaneous fun with a pretty chick) and the name for their daughter.

I think the prologue would've worked better if the MC actually looked 18 or-so. Because he looks like an adult, we're expecting adult behavior, like not caring (that much) about appearances.
His looks aside, his reasoning worked for me. His mother being overbearing and obsessed with her social standing was plenty of motivation for the MC to not want to rock that boat, I think.
The one thing that didn't convince me, was him grabbing Ella's hand so quickly. It would've worked better for me if he grabbed her shoulder and told her to walk together, instead of her walking in front. It would symbolize him coming around to the thought of spending time with her instead of it being an obligation, while being less intimate.

I'm in my first playthrough, and at the part where the MC decides on the "job" he wants to do.
It's funny to me that he can accept three jobs, but it's impossible to turn down every one. I hope this overextension comes into play if he commits to all activities, seeing as he barely managed to leave the house.

Some suggestions for the dev:

• When choices can be picked in any order (the questions asked to Lisa), reset the characters to the initial spot during dialogue.
  If you ask Lisa's questions in the reverse order, her movement doesn't make much sense.
• Similarly, if the MC goes to the charity before visiting Ben, he doesn't put 2 and 2 together about "the building on Grove street"
  He even talks to Lisa about the architect's skill, but doesn't bat an eye when Ben mentions the street's name later.
  If the MC visited the charity first, then he could realize it's the same building, instead of saying: "Do you remember anything unusual about that project?" And the reverse, while visiting the charity after visiting Ben, there's really no reason for him to ponder: "Grove Street, number 6. Why does that sound so familiar?", since he just had a conversation with Ben about that project.
• In the scenario where the player rejects every job and is forced to take the last offering, it would feel better not having that choice.
  Instead, skip over the menu, and have the MC motivate why he'll take this opportunity. Something as simple as "fuck it, I can't stay inside all day, and this seems like a good opportunity to [occupy my mind | put some good into the world | go outside more].
  The difference is that if the player is required to click the only enabled option, they have to rationalize that choice for themselves. Skipping this choice has the MC rationalize/motivate it instead.

 

[CrazyRabbit]

Once again a formidable update ; Charlotte speech was on point and I do believe MC was in dire need of hearing this...
Every moments with the ladies was awesome ; and now with Madelyn in the picture, it's going to be even worse to choose which one will be THE one
Also it means Madelyn has the same disease than Ella and Maddie, so I hope we rush her to ICU before history repeats itself !

And finally, that Vidal cameo was gold.
I am deeply offended by the declarations of the duck but I will be the bigger rabbit here.

Kudos to jPk vns ; that vn is all kind of heartwarming and heartwrenching, big thanks

 

[John972]

Oh wow, i interpreted neither of these scenes like that at all other than Ella and this was apparently her thing lol

I didnt saw Sarah as domineering, she was just embarrassed imo and the mc was teasing her, accepting a invitation is hardly being controlled or meek lol.

Vicky just gives older careing sister vibes off to me, shes just trying to help a friend but not dictating anything and MC was already in his head for 6 weeks when she tried to get him going again

The charlotte scene felt very different to me too, imo it was a conscious decision by charlotte to behave like that because he was suicidal. She caught him off guard with her act and in a different way to someone who would have talked in a overly careing way.

And despite her words, rude attitude and saying shes doing this because of the property value (lol), she did cared and the MC was aware of it. And even than she did not tried to force him to step back / dont jump, she just helped him to come to an own conclusion. Her rude act was (imo) a way to penetrate his mental defenses which he recognized.



Yeah well, he allows it because he apparently wants it lol, he was shown to be able to set boundaries and be strict with haily IF he wants to. He was only stern in the beginning or when she fucks up work related otherwise hes laid back (but imo not at all meek) and obviously enjoys these things.

The only time i remember him ever being stern with Emily is when she called him daddy which is reasonable.

Furthermore the MC seems to enjoy to be underestimated but imo thats because of confidence and not because he lets the girls dominate him.

I see none of these girls exerting any kind of dominance really, i never saw the MC bending to anyone but ella, he goes with the flow if its stuff he likes and otherwise puts an stop to it immediatly (aka Daddy).

And even with Ella, we have no clue of their relationship dynamics, in good relationships both are wearing the pants (imo). We only saw the MC easily convinced to tag along (because he could evade the date and there are worse things than have some spontaneous fun with a pretty chick) and the name for their daughter.

MC could have influenced Ella in other areas as she did him

But anyway, interesting how different we look at the same things happening, usually our opinions/viewpoints are often quite similar

Yeah, people do interpret things differently,

I guess I am also seeing similarities with characters in other AVNs.

Vicky is the stereotypical matriarchal wife of an MC's best friend that I've seen in a few AVNs. The MC, Linda, and Ben all joke at different times about her domineering nature.

I agree that Charlotte told the MC exactly what he needed to hear, but I think her approach/delivery is just the way she is, not something she feigned especially for the MC. We also see that side of her in her interactions with her aide.

I think a lot of my disquiet comes from the disjointed nature of the MC choices given to the player. One minute he's playful and the next minute he can be blunt and humorless. Hailey is a great example. The player can choose to have the MC give Hailey a dressing down over her rude and disrespectful nature when they first met. Why, if he simply ignores similar behavior later? NOTE - I didn't take that route on my normal playthrough, I played the chill MC. However, I was interested to see how consistent the MC would be after admonishing Hailey.

 

[m0us3r]

The one thing that didn't convince me, was him grabbing Ella's hand so quickly. It would've worked better for me if he grabbed her shoulder and told her to walk together, instead of her walking in front. It would symbolize him coming around to the thought of spending time with her instead of it being an obligation, while being less intimate.

He probably liked her right away. I mean, those details could have explanations. What's more amusing to me is that he begged Ella not to involve cops. Come on, what would she report him for? Reporting a pedestrian for walking on a sidewalk? "Your Honor, he didn't dodge me when I was riding my board really fast!" I would just laugh at her threats. But on the other hand I would go to Lily instead of staying with Ella. I assume he was not that thrilled with Lily but somehow interested in Ella. Not a coincidence that Ben mentioned her earlier - probably caught MC looking at her?

Similarly, if the MC goes to the charity before visiting Ben, he doesn't put 2 and 2 together about "the building on Grove street"
He even talks to Lisa about the architect's skill, but doesn't bat an eye when Ben mentions the street's name later.
If the MC visited the charity first, then he could realize it's the same building, instead of saying: "Do you remember anything unusual about that project?" And the reverse, while visiting the charity after visiting Ben, there's really no reason for him to ponder: "Grove Street, number 6. Why does that sound so familiar?", since he just had a conversation with Ben about that project.

There was also the start of the dialog with Ben where he (or Vicky?) noticed that MC came a lot later than they were meeting in the office. Playing the travel choices in the reverse order doesn't correspond with that.

Still, all those details don't ruin the narrative.

 

[Quetzzz]

He probably liked her right away. I mean, those details could have explanations.

Sure, but then having some insight into what he's thinking would help. For instance, he could think how nice it was of her to dress up, to do that extra effort. That it made him see her in a different light. But sadly, we get very little of this.

What's more amusing to me is that he begged Ella not to involve cops. Come on, what would she report him for? Reporting a pedestrian for walking on a sidewalk? "Your Honor, he didn't dodge me when I was riding my board really fast!" I would just laugh at her threats.

I don't think it was that. Just having the cops come to his neighborhood and questioning the MC would've been enough for his mother to catch wind of it. Something, apparently, he wanted to avoid at all cost.
At the time I also thought it was a bit over the top, and I had to actively remind myself that this MC wasn't an adult (yet), and that he didn't have the luxury of looking at it from an objective point of view.
Though, here as well, it would've helped to get insight into how the MC reasons, what his actual worries were. We only saw his mother as someone who's consumed by status and how she's perceived. But later, at the graveyard, I considered that her behavior was even more toxic than that.

But on the other hand I would go to Lily instead of staying with Ella. I assume he was not that thrilled with Lily but somehow interested in Ella. Not a coincidence that Ben mentioned her earlier - probably caught MC looking at her?

That's a good observation. I had forgotten that Ben mentioned her earlier, but I doubt that's it.

There was also the start of the dialog with Ben where he (or Vicky?) noticed that MC came a lot later than they were meeting in the office. Playing the travel choices in the reverse order doesn't correspond with that.

Still, all those details don't ruin the narrative.

Yeah, true! I hadn't gotten that far yet when I made the comment. I also didn't tell Ben & Vicky anything about what the MC was up to because I could smell them (mostly Vicky) making a big deal out of it.
From my notes:

MC returns home to Ben & Vic:
=============================
"You've come back pretty late. Tell me, where did you go after you left the office?"
    If the MC visited Ben last, this makes little sense. This could be easily fixed by showing the MC walking around aimlessly until it gets dark.

"You're acting like talking to women and taking a nap is something remarkable for me."
"That was the first time he's spoken positively about another woman since Ella died."
    Makes no sense if the MC didn't tell Vic & Ben anything in the previous menu. (And didn't take the job at Ben's?)