VN Ren'Py Abandoned The Mystery of The Crystal Mountain [v0.01] [GalDrag Production]

[Sngo]

Thanks for a good welcome. What I have in mind would, with a high probability, include the ones you've mentioned except for ntr. Also bdsm, mind control and maybe some enslavement.
The plan is to get the players a choice if they want to deal with just one girl or three.
I want to create a decent fantasy world which would be interesting to explore and which would incorporate different themes from Slavic mythology and fairy tales. I know that the plot may seem a little bit foggy at the moment but I will try my best to make it clear in the following updates.

dev seems to have shown up earlier and didnt really address jack regarding the princess if he intends to stand by his decision or not. or even so much as answered if she will be avoidable. or if the one choice that was shown in the game will be worked on since it apparently happens regardless of what you choose. as a matter of fact he didnt seem to answer anything regarding anything so im not sure if he'll let us know about much. quite possibly even things like forced lesbian content will be added.

buuuuuuut to be fair its not like he needs to answer. but it would've been appreciated.

Yep he didn't adress anything about the NTR and about avoiding the younger one. In the first quote you can read him saying except NTR from what I understand about what he wrote was saying no to NTR then you have a forced NTR scene in the first release so yeah not looking good for the dev, either he lied or don't know what NTR is.
So yeah he will probably keep ignoring players that ask about it as show earlier.

 

[HansDampf788]

first release so yeah not looking good for the dev, either he lied or don't know what NTR is.

If you look at the posts the Dev made he didn't answer a single question or comment on things that concerned players he only quoted players who praised the game.

 

[Zero ゼロ Shadow]

Total 4 types of NTR for more information please visit

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[Zero ゼロ Shadow]

If it's Netorare then I am gonna keep my distance from this game.

 

[GreenGobbo]

People who think this is NTR must think they're getting cucked by their next-door neighbours.

Straight up.

TBH I hate NTR myself, but the kind of logic on display here is mindboggling to me.

Imagine a couple meets for the first time in their 40s and decides to get married.
But oh no! Watch out man, that woman lost her V-Card to the quarterback from her highschool's football team!
Suuuuure, the guy and the lady never even knew each other way back then, but that's tooooootally NTR, amirite?


The mental gymnastics around that type of outlook are pretty dumb.

 

[sdna1]

Straight up.

TBH I hate NTR myself, but the kind of logic on display here is mindboggling to me.

Imagine a couple meets for the first time in their 40s and decides to get married.
But oh no! Watch out man, that woman lost her V-Card to the quarterback from her highschool's football team!
Suuuuure, the guy and the lady never even knew each other way back then, but that's tooooootally NTR, amirite?


The mental gymnastics around that type of outlook are pretty dumb.

i think that this discusion is pointless when it is even tagged....btw your point is nice but totaly out....everyone know that others fuck and that woman in her 40s is not virgin.... but if u r forced to watching your for example GF fuck other mens it is definitely causing jealousy even if it was done before.

idk how would u feel probably when your wife/gf would suggest to watch her homemade porn with hightschool fotball team, or if u would be even interested

btw thx for your facepalm... u could rationaly explain your tought but u choiced this instead...so could i take it that u dont want see your GF/wife see fuck other mans even if it was past and u did not even know her? or u just tought that i dont deserve responce?

 

[Yua (結愛)]

looks pretty good at this stage. Good story and good sex scene -what else are u need at this life???)

I think we don't need anything else. We are good to go without oxygen.

 

[Wildbill5150]

Thanks for a good welcome. What I have in mind would, with a high probability, include the ones you've mentioned except for ntr. Also bdsm, mind control and maybe some enslavement.
The plan is to get the players a choice if they want to deal with just one girl or three.
I want to create a decent fantasy world which would be interesting to explore and which would incorporate different themes from Slavic mythology and fairy tales. I know that the plot may seem a little bit foggy at the moment but I will try my best to make it clear in the following updates.

If you plan to give players a choice then it would be a good idea to give them the choice to avoid the ntr/voyeurism scene?
And make all future ntr/sharing scene's that involves LI's or potential LI's avoidable that way people that don't enjoy that kind of content can still enjoy your game without having one of there LI/future LI having sex with others because it can be avoided

Thank you for your time

 

[FAP369ZONE]

If you plan to give players a choice then it would be a good idea to give them the choice to avoid the ntr/voyeurism scene?
And make all future ntr/sharing scene's that involves LI's or potential LI's avoidable that way people that don't enjoy that kind of content can still enjoy your game without having one of there LI/future LI having sex with others because it can be avoided

Thank you for your time

I have a modded script with something similar to this here... you have a choice as a player to skip that scene, while that scene is neither avoidable or skippable in original script (also there is a big difference between something being skippable and avoidable). I said it once and i say it again... a simple choice given to players to skip (even if its unavoidable, not ideal but its something at least ) erotic scenes can go a long way...

 

[Nightmar]

Well i was expecting the other crystal

 

[UncleFredo]

Interesting beginning.

Spoiler: A bit of feedback

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That said I have to admit that this VN shows promise. Given how annoying the clicking was it still proved fun to play. I'll wait to see where you take it. However I strongly recommend you consider adjusting the scene with the youngest princess. As currently presented she's just a nasty cunt. In my unsolicited opinion you don't need to remove the scene, but I'd adjust the dialog to make her less of a self indulgent bitch. Give us some reason not to simply drop her before we even meet her.

Good luck with the game.

 

[Faptime]

My only issue is the relative weakness of the MC in his magical abilities. If he was so easily subdued by the Sorceress and guards sent to retrieve him, what exactly does the King need him for? Just send the Sorceress and the two guards.

MC is so far forced to act upon the whims of others (his Father and the King). Any attempts to choose otherwise leads to MC's humiliation.

It's this humiliation aspect that isn't sitting right for me, which is a shame because I'm liking the vibe of the game so far.

 

[bruce555]

Perfectly in agreement as above, without forgetting an equally important aspect, the inevitable NTR.

 

[desmosome]

My only issue is the relative weakness of the MC in his magical abilities. If he was so easily subdued by the Sorceress and guards sent to retrieve him, what exactly does the King need him for? Just send the Sorceress and the two guards.

MC is so far forced to act upon the whims of others (his Father and the King). Any attempts to choose otherwise leads to MC's humiliation.

It's this humiliation aspect that isn't sitting right for me, which is a shame because I'm liking the vibe of the game so far.

There can be different types of MCs. They don't always have to be a chad who is always on top of things. That said, in a game that isn't explicitly NTR focused, I do prefer an alpha dominating fuck em all MC. If you ask me, I think it's more interesting to grow into a mind controlling, enslaving chad over the course of the story, rather than starting out as some ultimate wizard with women falling in love at the sight of him like it's some copy pasta isekai. It's the same thing people seem to misunderstand in Mind Society (I think that was the name). People are getting so hung up on getting unavoidable fem dommed by that one girl when the story is quite clearly about the MC's rise to power. I believe this game will follow a similar arc, at least based on the set up and a few posts from the dev. In a story structured like this, the more adversity you face, the sweeter it is when you turn the tables. You just have to grit your teeth and look forward to finally putting these bitches in their place.

Basically, I just wish people chill out and let the devs write whatever characters and story they envision. If it doesn't suit you, there are plenty of other games to play. Offer your thoughts and advice on the execution of whatever story they want to tell. You know, things like gameplay, UI, annoying features, grammar, plot delivery, plot holes, situations that don't make sense within the narrative, etc. But the essence of the story should come from the dev's imagination. Otherwise, what is even the point of reading someone's story?

 

[Faptime]

There can be different types of MCs. They don't always have to be a chad who is always on top of things. That said, in a game that isn't explicitly NTR focused, I do prefer an alpha dominating fuck em all MC. If you ask me, I think it's more interesting to grow into a mind controlling, enslaving chad over the course of the story, rather than starting out as some ultimate wizard with women falling in love at the sight of him like it's some copy pasta isekai. It's the same thing people seem to misunderstand in Mind Society (I think that was the name). People are getting so hung up on getting unavoidable fem dommed by that one girl when the story is quite clearly about the MC's rise to power. I believe this game will follow a similar arc, at least based on the set up and a few posts from the dev. In a story structured like this, the more adversity you face, the sweeter it is when you turn the tables. You just have to grit your teeth and look forward to finally putting these bitches in their place.

Basically, I just wish people chill out and let the devs write whatever characters and story they envision. If it doesn't suit you, there are plenty of other games to play. Offer your thoughts and advice on the execution of whatever story they want to tell. You know, things like gameplay, UI, annoying features, grammar, plot delivery, plot holes, situations that don't make sense within the narrative, etc. But the essence of the story should come from the dev's imagination. Otherwise, what is even the point of reading someone's story?

I'm actually approaching this as a plot hole that, I feel, needs to be filled in by the Dev.

MC is special. This is clear from his parentage (though it is unclear exactly who his father is, at it is perfectly clear that his father is somebody incredibly powerful). MC has a natural talent for magic, but has never received proper instruction, which is why he was sent to the teacher that he is with.

But the scene with the Sorceress and the two guards shows he is still not very powerful yet. There is no femdom in this scene; there is nothing sexual about it. This is just the MC getting beat, and the gender of the person beating him doesn't matter.

So, given that MC is still so weak in comparison, and this is where the plot hole comes in, why would the King need him, specifically?

For me, that's the point that I hope the Dev makes clear in the next update.

What I hope he avoids is another copy pasta chosen one storyline, where only MC can achieve what needs to be achieved but with no real answer as to WHY only MC can, especially with such other powerful characters already introduced to us players.

 

[desmosome]

I'm actually approaching this as a plot hole that, I feel, needs to be filled in by the Dev.

MC is special. This is clear from his parentage (though it is unclear exactly who his father is, at it is perfectly clear that his father is somebody incredibly powerful). MC has a natural talent for magic, but has never received proper instruction, which is why he was sent to the teacher that he is with.

But the scene with the Sorceress and the two guards shows he is still not very powerful yet. There is no femdom in this scene; there is nothing sexual about it. This is just the MC getting beat, and the gender of the person beating him doesn't matter.

So, given that MC is still so weak in comparison, and this is where the plot hole comes in, why would the King need him, specifically?

For me, that's the point that I hope the Dev makes clear in the next update.

What I hope he avoids is another copy pasta chosen one storyline, where only MC can achieve what needs to be achieved but with no real answer as to WHY only MC can, especially with such other powerful characters already introduced to us players.

Someone with latent potential but little training losing to a high class sorceress isn't anything surprising. As for the other issue, given that the update ends before we can get to the reason for his summoning, it couldn't be a plot hole just yet. My guess is that it's tied to his father's plans somehow, whatever that may be.

I mean, the first release was short as all fuck. It's just the bare minimum introduction to the setting and some characters. Nothing concrete about the actual plot is explored yet. We have a lazy son of a god get sent to bootcamp and then summoned by the king for some reason. There really isn't much to go on here since it's a very short teaser at best.

Also, I wasn't saying that you are specifically miffed about some femdom here. I just made that comparison with Mind Society because it shows a common tendency. A lot of players (not specifically you) really hate to "lose" in any circumstances or situation. Doubly so if it's the sexual. That's rather odd to me because there I can't think of a single piece of literature with a hero's journey template without any losses and adversity. Well, maybe that was a hyperbolic statement with obvious exceptions. Also, the game might be something totally different than what I'm suspecting, but my point is that losses are just narrative tools like anything else in a story. I hate fem dom as a fetish, but I am fine with it as a narrative tool, especially early on in the story to propel the protagonist to turn the tables down the line. Same goes for losses like this one. MC will inevitably grow powerful and overcome her later, possibly giving her some good old male dom dicking along the way.

 

[Faptime]

Someone with latent potential but little training losing to a high class sorceress isn't anything surprising. As for the other issue, given that the update ends before we can get to the reason for his summoning, it couldn't be a plot hole just yet. My guess is that it's tied to his father's plans somehow, whatever that may be.

I mean, the first release was short as all fuck. It's just the bare minimum introduction to the setting and some characters. Nothing concrete about the actual plot is explored yet. We have a lazy son of a god get sent to bootcamp and then summoned by the king for some reason. There really isn't much to go on here since it's a very short teaser at best.

Agreed, but the Devs perceived habit of putting the MC in no-win situations that result in his humiliation also needs to be addressed.

MC's god-daddy fucking around with him is actually, imo, funny. And it explains MC's attitude as well. The pranking and irreverence goes both ways.

The Sorceress' actions, however, are uncalled for.

She can obviously create gates. Why not at MC's front door, knock, and hand him an official summons with the King's seal?

Nope, instead let's break into MC's study, demand he come with them without any proof of who they are, and smugly beat him down when he, imo understandably, resists.

Several bits of writing could have salvaged that situation, with the MC being slapped silly for making poor choices still a viable option, but instead the only choice we have is to go with the three yahoos who just showed up and, metaphorically, offered MC candy in the back of their van.

I'm not saying the game is bad, because it's not. I am saying, however, that the story could use some polishing unless the intent is to have an MC that will be habitually made the fool of.

 

[desmosome]

Agreed, but the Devs perceived habit of putting the MC in no-win situations that result in his humiliation also needs to be addressed.

MC's god-daddy fucking around with him is actually, imo, funny. And it explains MC's attitude as well. The pranking and irreverence goes both ways.

The Sorceress' actions, however, are uncalled for.

She can obviously create gates. Why not at MC's front door, knock, and hand him an official summons with the King's seal?

Nope, instead let's break into MC's study, demand he come with them without any proof of who they are, and smugly beat him down when he, imo understandably, resists.

Several bits of writing could have salvaged that situation, with the MC being slapped silly for making poor choices still a viable option, but instead the only choice we have is to go with the three yahoos who just showed up and, metaphorically, offered MC candy in the back of their van.

I'm not saying the game is bad, because it's not. I am saying, however, that the story could use some polishing unless the intent is to have an MC that will be habitually made the fool of.

Hmm I guess my edit came too late, so I'll just repost it in this reply.

Also, I wasn't saying that you are specifically miffed about some femdom here. I just made that comparison with Mind Society because it shows a common tendency. A lot of players (not specifically you) really hate to "lose" in any circumstances or situation. Doubly so if it's the sexual. That's rather odd to me because there I can't think of a single piece of literature with a hero's journey template without any losses and adversity. Well, maybe that was a hyperbolic statement with obvious exceptions. Also, the game might be something totally different than what I'm suspecting, but my point is that losses are just narrative tools like anything else in a story. I hate fem dom as a fetish, but I am fine with it as a narrative tool, especially early on in the story to propel the protagonist to turn the tables down the line. Same goes for losses like this one. MC will inevitably grow powerful and overcome her later, possibly giving her some good old male dom dicking along the way.


As for the Sorceress, that's just getting real specific. Sure, she could have knocked, but why couldn't she do what she did? It tells you she is a smug haughty woman who needs to be taken down. I always try to have some clue on the type of game I am playing. I pick up clues from the overview, genre spoilers, future tags, dev comments, and last but not least, the game itself. I am fairly confident this is your standard game where the protagonist grows his power and has the option to enslave the woman through mind control or be a typical hero. Maybe I'm off the mark entirely, but that is my expectation, so I am not at all fazed by any set backs so early in the story. If the game turns out to be entirely about humiliating the MC, then this isn't the game I expected and it's no big deal to drop it.

 

[Deleted member 2412505]

Straight up.

TBH I hate NTR myself, but the kind of logic on display here is mindboggling to me.

Imagine a couple meets for the first time in their 40s and decides to get married.
But oh no! Watch out man, that woman lost her V-Card to the quarterback from her highschool's football team!
Suuuuure, the guy and the lady never even knew each other way back then, but that's tooooootally NTR, amirite?


The mental gymnastics around that type of outlook are pretty dumb.

Your comprehensive processing skill of information is mind-boggling here mate. I don't think anyone wanted all the LIs be a virgin. They can have bf, gf, husband and what not but the thing is they don't want to see or hear that thing.
Most of these kinds of people also like incest there wants to bag their mother who also happens to banged father. They don't complain because father banged mother. The problem lies that they don't want to see or hear that thing. There's a big difference.
I hope this time you understood it.

 

[Deleted member 2412505]

i think that this discusion is pointless when it is even tagged....btw your point is nice but totaly out....everyone know that others fuck and that woman in her 40s is not virgin.... but if u r forced to watching your for example GF fuck other mens it is definitely causing jealousy even if it was done before.

idk how would u feel probably when your wife/gf would suggest to watch her homemade porn with hightschool fotball team, or if u would be even interested

btw thx for your facepalm... u could rationaly explain your tought but u choiced this instead...so could i take it that u dont want see your GF/wife see fuck other mans even if it was past and u did not even know her? or u just tought that i dont deserve responce?

That guy runs around saying how much he hates ntr but his action says otherwise. When made a counter argument, he won't reply.