VN Ren'Py Abandoned The Secret Family [v0.2.0] [Diamond Novels]

[alex2011]

I agree with most of the things said here, the developer needs a proofreader if they don't have the skills in English to be able to make sense in the dialogue and they need to move to SubscribeStar as soon as possible. Something I do have a concern on, however, is the suggestion that the ages become changeable by the player. That's fine by itself, but an issue I often run across in games that do that is they rarely tell the actual intended age. If the developer does go this route instead of just patching it to change the age, IF they take any precautions against deletion here, either the default age needs to be set at their actual canon age from before the changeable age system was added or there needs to be somewhere a player can find the actual canon age outside that system.

It seems as if there is little to no gameplay yet =( out of the 2-3 choices it looks as if only 1 might have a small effect on things. It's not really a 'problem' if that is what the dev is going for, but worth mentioning

It is a 0.1, so that is expected. It isn't all that common for a game to have a ton of content on the first release.

 

[Braunie]

She seems to have a little herpes.



But GG.

 

[QWERTYuu6662]

Keep up the great work

 

[Deleted member 3343380]

A great and promising game.

 

[DarkWolf2055]

Aside from the fact the English dialog could use a huge makeover, the character definition could be improved upon as well.
Ex:

sis
sister
bro
brother
dad
daddy
father

Use alternates from time to time instead of the same thing over and over. It makes for better reading. An example of this would be:
"Yeah, sis. I'm glad you're finally back".
"She is my sister".
"I am his sister".
"It's so good to see you, bro".
"He is my brother".
"I am her brother".

Granted the last five aren't in the scripts, but that's just to give you a general idea on how to improve the character definition a bit better.

English is not the dev native language

 

[DarkWolf2055]

also there is a patch for the game will be added soon sorry for the mess i m sick with a flu since yesterday

 

[jospaghettio]

Looks like I messed up a little:

Spoiler

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Fixed in the attached

Was going to do this myself. Nice. It's better now but still plenty of errors.
First type: Comma splicing.
"Dumbass help me stop looking between my legs, my knee hurts."
should be
"Dumbass! Help me. Stop looking between my legs. My knee hurts."
or
"I know, that's what I was looking at, what did you think."
should be
"I know. That's what I was looking at. What did you think!?"

Second type: Lower case letter for adressee.
"daddy"
should be
"Daddy" when directly spoken to.

When these errors are eliminated, the dialogue will be nearly native speaker level.
I might post the corrections in a file here later.

 

[TitseyeLoli]

Looking forward to this one as it seems there is not much content now but the tags....Boys we in!

 

[El_Loco]

Try telling that the FBI when they shut down this forum! The rule, as it has been explained several times before concerning several games, is not the result of the personal taste of some moderators, but exists to prevent this platform from being shut down for legal resons. Loli is no problem here, incest is no problem here. But showing prepubescents in sexual actions is. If you are interested in games containing it, use Google! I am pretty sure you will find them this way. But you do that on your own risk then.

I'm not afraid to say this to the FBI, because in the country where I live, all dissent are still being repressed by the KGB.
And as I wrote earlier, why are brutal murders and dismemberment censored, and sexual activities with loli are mercilessly banned? Since when has murder been a softer experience for the psyche than sexual acts? Those who prohibit are guided by "our psychological health", so they say? These are some kind of double standards.

 

[Hermit76]

I'm not afraid to say this to the FBI, because in the country where I live, all dissent are still being repressed by the KGB.
And as I wrote earlier, why are brutal murders and dismemberment censored, and sexual activities with loli are mercilessly banned? Since when has murder been a softer experience for the psyche than sexual acts? Those who prohibit are guided by "our psychological health", so they say? These are some kind of double standards.

Then good luck! But maybe you will understand, that in countries, where not the KGB (or rather FSB...) but the FBI shuts down serves, that host files, that are regarded as being illegal there, admins have to take different precautions than those that you might like. We share the opinion that computer generated pictures don't do any harm and should not be illegal, because nobody got hurt creating these pictures. But the FBI does not care about, what we think. And the US courts don't, either.

 

[El_Loco]

Then good luck! But maybe you will understand, that in countries, where not the KGB (or rather FSB...) but the FBI shuts down serves, that host files, that are regarded as being illegal there, admins have to take different precautions than those that you might like. We share the opinion that computer generated pictures don't do any harm and should not be illegal, because nobody got hurt creating these pictures. But the FBI does not care about, what we think. And the US courts don't, either.

Thanks. I am glad that you understand that there is no harm from this or there is no greater harm than from the brutal murders in games and movies, and if you allow one, then you must allow the other. It is a pity that your countries also have censorship and illogical prohibitions. They are clearly struggling with the wrong thing.

 

[Hush16]

Looks interesting, but HUGE swaths of text still in Spanish, when I've selected English. I'm American, dammit - I don't want to have to learn another language!

English was good enough for jesus, so it's good enough for me!

 

[RIC0H]

Was going to do this myself. Nice. It's better now but still plenty of errors.
First type: Comma splicing.
"Dumbass help me stop looking between my legs, my knee hurts."
should be
"Dumbass! Help me. Stop looking between my legs. My knee hurts."
or
"I know, that's what I was looking at, what did you think."
should be
"I know. That's what I was looking at. What did you think!?"

Oh I'm sure there's plenty more, but the script is all over the place and I was getting bored of trying to track things down.
There's 3 different files that have parts of the script in and at times the dialog jumps from one file to another.

Second type: Lower case letter for adressee.
"daddy"
should be
"Daddy" when directly spoken to.

When these errors are eliminated, the dialogue will be nearly native speaker level.
I might post the corrections in a file here later.

Yeah the [mc_rol4] is daddy and there's no role ID for Daddy.
Could only work with what I had.

You'll notice that in my version a lot if the "Brother" "Sister" "Cousin" "Uncle" parts in the dialog have been removed from the original, as I didn't see a point in them saying brother this and sister that in every other sentence. Just say it once or twice and move on.

 

[Richard Perkins]

I clicked on English, but there still alot of spanish language going on, need to fix this

 

[esoom]

Tag: Loli, I'm in...

 

[danvo2004]

I clicked on English, but there still alot of spanish language going on, need to fix this

Same happens to me, I think the dev wants to show off his bi-lingual skills or something

 

[toto90]

the girl look like this lol

 

[RIC0H]

I clicked on English, but there still alot of spanish language going on, need to fix this

I didn't notice that on my playthrough, everything was English.

 

[ppoiues]

doesn't this game need a patch to see the loli content ?
and if it need one can someone dm me a link to download it

 

[Walter Victor]

Having taken a closer look at the scripts, and skimmed through the game itself, without the loli and incest aspect, I doubt that many would bother with this hot mess.

The issues with this game have already been itemized several times. My particular problem is that it seems to jump around arbitrarily, and we are not even sure what time period we are in. That should be demarcated clearly, and tell us how far back in time we are going.