ZagorTeNay
Well-Known Member
- Jun 28, 2018
- 1,221
- 2,370
- 451
Well, this was..interesting. One of the strangest games I've seen here.
Is there something wrong with MC? He sounds honestly a bit like a child ( and very horny one at that)..which with his somewhat derpy appearance, makes him honestly seem a bit retarded.
Dialogue, between main characters, in general has a lot of strange expressions that feel exaggerated and unnatural.
" You are my Hero! You are my Hero! You saved me from the clutches of that evil monster! Thank you! Thank you!" ( and this repeats itself)
Like with Kojima writing...characters sometimes need to sometimes "shut up" and let an image, scene speak on it's own.
Same problem is with excessive monologue.
Scene would be much more effective ( and feel more natural) if it first showed Adelle still in shock, transition, player dialogue ( " I heard you yelling from inside the store...arrived as fast as I could, etc, etc), MC takes her hand, she quickly pulls and holds him, transition to another image ( MC&Adelle hlding one another): "Thank you...I'll never forget what you did".
On the plus: I like the characters, music, visuals are pretty good, and story has potential.
Dialogue/Monologue really needs the most improvement.
Is there something wrong with MC? He sounds honestly a bit like a child ( and very horny one at that)..which with his somewhat derpy appearance, makes him honestly seem a bit retarded.
Dialogue, between main characters, in general has a lot of strange expressions that feel exaggerated and unnatural.
" You are my Hero! You are my Hero! You saved me from the clutches of that evil monster! Thank you! Thank you!" ( and this repeats itself)
Like with Kojima writing...characters sometimes need to sometimes "shut up" and let an image, scene speak on it's own.
Same problem is with excessive monologue.
Scene would be much more effective ( and feel more natural) if it first showed Adelle still in shock, transition, player dialogue ( " I heard you yelling from inside the store...arrived as fast as I could, etc, etc), MC takes her hand, she quickly pulls and holds him, transition to another image ( MC&Adelle hlding one another): "Thank you...I'll never forget what you did".
On the plus: I like the characters, music, visuals are pretty good, and story has potential.
Dialogue/Monologue really needs the most improvement.