Ren'Py Completed TP: The Class Next Door [v0.12.1] [9thCrux]

[IFF01]

Enjoying the game there are a few lines where the words arn't quite right for example when Tiffany is in the hotel thinking of the past the word game is input and I think it is suppose to be "gave" there are acouple others before that but that is the most obvious. But like I aid its a great start.

 

[IFF01]

If you want help with your english let me know

 

[9thCrux]

Enjoying the game there are a few lines where the words arn't quite right for example when Tiffany is in the hotel thinking of the past the word game is input and I think it is suppose to be "gave" there are acouple others before that but that is the most obvious. But like I aid its a great start.

Yes, I'm working on a major grammar and proof-reading update coming on January 31st.
It will be a lot better then.

 

[9thCrux]

I suppose that is funny for the Elfish talking Canto Forte

 

[Canto Forte]

The gag is that MACHINE TRANSLATION OFFERS PROOFING TOOLS BUT DOES NOT STEER THE PHRASE NEARLY NEVER IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION FROM WHATEVER NONSENSICAL TRANSLATION.

Here is hope you can see the error of letting maniacal software take the reins off of you.

Every thing else is just the happy go lucky fuzzy butterfly feeling inside from playing this game

 

[Canto Forte]

We can have some fun with how machine translation can mangle a simple statement of care:
"I love you but you don't show me no remorse."
This one could very well turn out like this:"I love you but no remorse is shown" => bad jest.
It might even look like this: "I love you but show me remorse" =>this turns the meaning around.
Machine translation might cut some words out or rearange the phrase according to its proofing tools

 

[9thCrux]

We can have some fun with how machine translation can mangle a simple statement of care:
"I love you but you don't show me no remorse."
This one could very well turn out like this:"I love you but no remorse is shown" => bad jest.
It might even look like this: "I love you but show me remorse" =>this turns the meaning around.
Machine translation might cut some words out or rearange the phrase according to its proofing tools

Why would you assume I use machine translations? Is that what you use to write your well-know Elfish?

I went with Grammarly, pricey but worth it on the long run.

 

[Canto Forte]

Well ... my jest would just fall flat if there was the shinning new program involved.
Now I will just play some dance music and stop the ballads of old trouble.

 

[Watcher X]

I'm liking this game, I like the setting and the relationship with the daughter is built nicely. All the girls look great and the artwork and game play is fine.

I just wish the writing was better. It's not terrible, I can certainly understand what's happening. And I can forgive the odd spelling and grammar mistake. It's just that the conversations don't feel organic, and there is too much unnecessary descriptive text. Example, nobody ever says "I'll just put the second suitcase in the car and we will go". They just put the suitcase in the car. Explaining it takes longer than doing it.

I'm hopeful as the game develops the writing gets better as the dev gets more comfortable.

 

[alominus]

I'm liking this game, I like the setting and the relationship with the daughter is built nicely. All the girls look great and the artwork and game play is fine.

I just wish the writing was better. It's not terrible, I can certainly understand what's happening. And I can forgive the odd spelling and grammar mistake. It's just that the conversations don't feel organic, and there is too much unnecessary descriptive text. Example, nobody ever says "I'll just put the second suitcase in the car and we will go". They just put the suitcase in the car. Explaining it takes longer than doing it.

I'm hopeful as the game develops the writing gets better as the dev gets more comfortable.

His writing could be solved so easily if he just showed the script to a decent English speaker to proofread before he releases. It saddens me to see developers not even bother to do that, and just say "Ohhh English isn't my first language blah blah blah" So get one of the millions of fluent English speakers to look at your work.

9thCrux Learn how to use "it's"... You make the same mistake over and over. For instance in the game you write "Actually, is a small class." when the correct way would be "Actually, it's a small class." Another example in your game is "Is funny, but is like discovering something new about you." when the correct way is "It's funny, but it's like discovering something new about you." Also, no sentence will ever start with "is" unless it's a question.
I can deal with the other mistakes, but that one is distracting because it happens repeatedly.

 

[EchoFoxtrot]

That was really really good, a solid slow burn is the best. Even brought a tear or 2. A coffee is on the way for sure

 

[Nospamwss]

Girls are very hot! But the game needs more hot Milf!
I was wondering if there was any chance the game would be a harem?

 

[9thCrux]

Girls are very hot! But the game needs more hot Milf!
I was wondering if there was any chance the game would be a harem?

There are two milfs you can go for, Mrs. Smith and Miss Evans.

No, this game will not be a harem.

I'm thinking about adding a gallery later on; to see lewd scenes after a play-through, players would unlock the scenes and then they would be abailable in the gallery, that would be further down the line.

 

[8873672413434]

No sex. Great game, 7/10.

 

[EvilChef]

I'm thinking about adding a gallery later on; to see lewd scenes after a play-through, players would unlock the scenes and then they would be abailable in the gallery, that would be further down the line.

Might i suggest using the replay function. That way you can lay the foundation and simply activate it when you want.

 

[Buster65]

Daammnn!!! So many discussions about grammar!! It seems that we have a lot of Hemimgways, Shakespeares, Wallaces, Kings and Dickens here! What is this? A Literature Club? It is a porn game !! And they are not discussing the most important!
This will no longer be a Visual Novel (with some choices) and will go into "free roamming" style!! FREE ROAMMING!!
Do you understand what I say?... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... (one scene) Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... (one scene) Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... (shit! It's not here... roll back roll back roll back) Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... (Haaaa! another scene!) Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... Click... (fuck... ok I'm done... Good bye!)

 

[Nospamwss]

There are two milfs you can go for, Mrs. Smith and Miss Evans.

No, this game will not be a harem.

I'm thinking about adding a gallery later on; to see lewd scenes after a play-through, players would unlock the scenes and then they would be abailable in the gallery, that would be further down the line.

It's a pity...

 

[alominus]

Really dude? This is a porn game go somewhere else with your cheap classroom rants...

Funny that you mention it's a porn game when it has no porn.

 

[Jack Dangers]

Warning: This will be a long post.

I played this game last night for the first time. I liked the experience quite a bit...and then I read the thread’s comments. They stuck with me for a while. Usually, I don’t say much on F95, but here, I’d like to make an exception.

Please skip this if you believe that brevity is the soul of wit.

Now...some things:

1. The Dev has taken great pains to inform everyone that English is not their first language. This is hardly uncommon. There are literally scores of ESL Devs making content accessible via F95. Many of these Devs have a far worse grasp of the Language than does 9thCrux. Why so many people here feel compelled to point out that shortcoming eludes me. At this stage, it’s belaboring the point.

The Dev is aware that their English could use some work. Continuing to point that out is no longer offering constructive criticism. It’s being mean-spirited.

2. The Dev has also gone to great lengths to tell potential players that the game is a slow burn. I can understand that some people might be frustrated by the lack of sex scenes...but you were warned going into the experience.

I see so many threads on this forum in which people bemoan the lack of original content and story. Yet when a Dev tries to deliver on that — setting up the framework of the game with tremendous detail — everyone is quick to complain. Again, I understand if the approach isn’t to your liking...but that point’s also been made ad nauseum. It’s not constructive anymore; it’s piling on.

3. Finally, the Dev has gone to great lengths to make it clear that their game is inspired by Teacher’s Pet. Yes, TP was an amazing game and it’s sad that Irredeemable has disappeared and left their project orphaned. On that, I’m sure we can all agree.

That said, trying to low-key coerce the Dev into making their project a continuation of TP is weak. 9thCrux has ideas for their own game. Even if they were to agree to such requests, I’m sure posters would be lining up to tell them how badly “they got it wrong”. When you say “I want Megan back”, what you really mean is “I wish Irredeemable was back and writing Megan for us again”. That’s not something 9thCrux could ever possibly do.

My advice: Appreciate the game for what it is — don’t hate it for what it isn’t. There is a tremendous amount of potential here. The story is very cool and has a flavor that’s very unique. If you don’t like that — that’s cool. There’s hundreds of other games on F95 for you to enjoy, and I’ll bet at least one or two of them will suit you perfectly. In the meantime, please try not to criticize 9thCrux so much that they no longer want to produce the game. There are a lot of us that are enjoying it immensely, and I’d hate to see it abandoned because the Dev becomes sick of the same criticisms being constantly leveled their way.

Keep up the good work, 9thCrux. I’m eager to see how you develop the project.

 

[Watcher X]

Warning: This will be a long post.

I played this game last night for the first time. I liked the experience quite a bit...and then I read the thread’s comments. They stuck with me for a while. Usually, I don’t say much on F95, but here, I’d like to make an exception.

Please skip this if you believe that brevity is the soul of wit.

Now...some things:

1. The Dev has taken great pains to inform everyone that English is not their first language. This is hardly uncommon. There are literally scores of ESL Devs making content accessible via F95. Many of these Devs have a far worse grasp of the Language than does 9thCrux. Why so many people here feel compelled to point out that shortcoming eludes me. At this stage, it’s belaboring the point.

The Dev is aware that their English could use some work. Continuing to point that out is no longer offering constructive criticism. It’s being mean-spirited.

--snip--

I think you are being a little unfair on some of the people making comments in this thread.

If this thread has 100 posts, but only 1 person complains about the writing then the dev could rightly think the writing is okay and ignore the complaint. But if there are 90 complaints about the writing the dev now knows it needs some work. There is no malice towards the dev, only goodwill. We all want him to succeed because we all want a cool game to play.

I don't speak French. But if I was releasing a game in France I'd get a French speaker to go over it or suffer the blow-back. That's what people have been recommending to 9thCrux, get an English proof-reader. He has an great game with an interesting story to tell, but the writing needs to improve.