Since this project is still somewhat new and might improve I figured I'd rather give my 2(0000) cents here, than add a low review rating only for the game to improve in a couple updates:
I was thinking of leaving a big comment with some constructive criticisms, but you pretty much covered everything.
The first release absolutely left an impression on me. That's more than could be said about the vast majority of games that drop with essentially no plot hook to get players interested. So good job. Not everything is perfect. In fact, there is a lot that could be improved, mostly on the writing side. The English could really use a make over. That is the bare minimum though. I agree that the script and the narrative structure itself needs some work. I felt the same way about the intro. I think it could have been more focused, cutting out the sibling stuff. Maybe it's just me, but it was also a little bit confusing when it showed 2044. I have some guesses, but the significance of that 2044 scene is a bit unclear.
Some other things that I felt was a bit weak. Noora's Q&A session was rather boring and unnatural. Presumably, these 2 are quite close already. Close enough for the MC to reveal the entire plan and situation to. Having an interview style dialogue chain is kind of out of place. The relevant bits of information revealed through this exchange could happen in a more natural conversation.
I personally like male dom in scenes. In fact, I kinda need some male dom vibes to even fap lol. That said, it was really sudden and unexpected when he started the male dom talks because the MC acted like a typical hero complex guy so far. A generally good person could be dominating in bed, sure, but it will certainly feel a bit out of place if this aspect of MC's personality is never addressed.
One thing I felt while playing this was that the MC was a bit out of his element. Sharon is the one running the whole thing. He just stole the most sensitive data, but he doesn't know what to do with this. He doesn't have connections of his own. He doesn't have a plan. He is sitting around for instructions from his mom. He seems way too loose with the fact that he betrayed his father, telling his secretary and driver pretty much everything without question. Perhaps this is intentional. It's still very early in the story, and maybe the intent is to show him growing into a more competent person at the center of a huge conspiracy or something.
If there is one advice I could give when writing a story with a serious and urgent subject matter at it's core, it would be to keep this core plot as the focus in which most other events revolve around.
Having an actual editor or writing consultant look over the script might help... but I suppose only the most serious devs even consider something like that. It's still interesting enough to play, but I think most of us giving criticism are considering the potential this game could reach if the script was handled with more finesse. Good luck.
edit: wait I did end up leaving a big comment lol.