Waifston
Please dont take the comments personally. Dont be be discouraged by the more critical comments here. People care enough to comment which is a good sign and its a heck of a lot more than some other project have going for them.
First, Let me say that I like the new direction you have taken to telling the story. The presentation and amount of detail you put in is simply phenomenal, even the first game has way more interactions than 90% of adult games I've played.
That being said I can't help but agree with some of the criticisms. I understand that you are trying to go for a deeper more compelling story, which is great. I personally love that, and a lot of others do too. However, I think right now, the new direction is kind of a double edged sword. The story now comes off as much less light hearted and because of that, with so much going bad for the MC it is difficult to see how he could ever possibly work himself out of it. Which really gives the game a tone of hopelessness for the MC. A stark difference from the previous version of the game.
The other issue is the change in character for previously established people in the story. Much like the current MC we are kinda left to assume that they have redeeming qualities after being ...blasted in the face by all their negative traits right off the bat.
Ill get to Elena in a moment but for me personally Alice was extremely jarring. In the previous game we all knew she had a delinquent side in her past, but she seemed like she had mostly matured past that stage and learned from her mistakes...mostly. Right now though...and believe me, I hate to say it, but she comes off as a 40 year old tramp. Gambling, Alcoholic, smoker, forgetful, dropped out of school at 16, and 24 years later its like she hasn't learned anything from life. I love that the MC loves his mother, but its usually because she is supposed to be a good mother/person/have some redeeming quality. Right now though with all that's been said, I was kinda left asking "why though?". He's trying to help with her problems but she just forgets? and does it again anyway? Like c'mon dude. She doesnt even say sorry or acknowledge his efforts. It's more like blind loyalty right now.
Elena....I desperately want to believe that the old Elena is in there but there are too many questions floating around the situation right now. I personally don't remember if it was directly confirmed that she personally took bribes from the Power family but it's at least very much implied and I suppose because the Principal is, then its very easy to assume she did as well.
That's not very likeable at all. Like I said, I want to believe that it's not the case and she really didnt want to but had no choice in the matter, but many others are not going to give the benefit of the doubt. Yes I know she explains the situation briefly, but it can be very easily taken as her just stating facts. There wasn't enough said about what her actions to completely clear her character. There are just too many holes in the situation presented.
Which brings me to what I think is the main issue here. Despite the hard work you have put into the story telling aspect, which is great as I have said, the Demo paints a picture of utter hopelessness, with an MC being knee deep in shit and smears him and previously established characters with a slue of negatives traits, with almost nothing positive about them to give you the sense that there is hope for something better. The demo ends with the MC deciding that his only way out is to seduce a rich influential woman to get him out of his problems....instead of doing it himself. I gotta say that course of action quite simply reads as pathetic. That's not something a person worthy of respect sets out to do. Sure it could still happen that way by chance - like idk, maybe he ends up working for somebody and they like him a lot and decide to help- but that being his main goal? That doesnt give much faith in his character direction. Seriously, nobody admirable goes to find someone else to fix their own problems, at least not like this.
Again, please dont take the criticisms personally. I know I've said some heavy stuff, but it's only because I see a gem in the rough...(and I admit I am comparing Elena and Alice to the previous game. I really liked them as they were).
It is clear that you put a lot of effort into this project and I'm sure I am not alone in saying that it has potential. But! that doesn't mean you can't take some feedback into consideration. You have a good base, its just some details are...inconsistent with the direction the game is going in. I won't repeat what someone else said earlier about a certain 3 letter tag, that comment hurt even me as I read it. lets just leave it there.
I loved the previous game and I think you can make something truly worthy of praise. Taking a new direction, you probly wont get it right the first time, but nobody does. As always, the overall presentation and visual quality of the renders is some of the best I've seen.
So going forward, just remember to stay positive while going through the critiques. It comes with the territory. Take the time to consider what is valid and try to ignore the unhelpful ones.
And remember at the end of the day It's your game. You just have to find a way to tell the story you want, but in a way that is consistent and cohesive.
I hope I have at the very least given you some encouragement.
Cheers
