4.50 star(s) 54 Votes

linus.quotes

Active Member
Aug 27, 2021
964
678
what do you mean? as far as i can see it was relased somewhere around 15 apr 2023 and this is the update 0.2 in about 2ish months, or do you know something i do not?
Oh, maybe april apparently april seems to be a long time ago for me, maybe... :LOL:
 
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LGM

Active Member
Nov 22, 2018
567
654
I'm curious why you think Frank is a dev self-insert. I mean, of all the self-inserts I'd expect, choosing a stalker that everyone is likely to hate wouldn't be my choice.
Sorry, nevermind. Got that mixed up with another game. That'll teach me to play 2 kinda similar games at the same time...
 
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DraxisSilencer1000

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2020
1,260
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I've seen the "intended" relationship talk in here, but if its really not intended to be incest then what do I put on their relationship?
 

Tiur

Well-Known Member
Nov 13, 2021
1,082
2,936
I've seen the "intended" relationship talk in here, but if its really not intended to be incest then what do I put on their relationship?
The question in the game is explicitly about who Lily and Sam are to each other, not to the MC. Since they (optionally) do a lewd thing with the MC together-ish, and probably will do more, their relation to each other needs to be defined by the player and cannot be defaulted to a Patreon-unfriendly relation.
 

DraxisSilencer1000

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2020
1,260
612
Curious storyline I guess...

A question though, around the time of the breakfast Lily mentioned something something, "magical studies" to Sam. Am I getting it right that both of these girls are aware of the supernatural stuff? Because of the way the MC acts doesn't exactly tells me whether he's actually aware of this side of the city. Some of the wording on that matter got me confused.
 

Tiur

Well-Known Member
Nov 13, 2021
1,082
2,936
Curious storyline I guess...

A question though, around the time of the breakfast Lily mentioned something something, "magical studies" to Sam. Am I getting it right that both of these girls are aware of the supernatural stuff? Because of the way the MC acts doesn't exactly tells me whether he's actually aware of this side of the city. Some of the wording on that matter got me confused.
The 'magical studies' line is a joke from Lily.
Sam: "Not unless you've figured out human-teddy bear transfiguration yet."
Lily: "Sadly, I've been pretty busy at work lately. My magical studies have been relegated to the backburner."
Sam is suggesting something that doesn't exist (as far as she knows), and Lily is effectively saying, "Oh, yeah, I'd totally be able to do that [impossible thing] except work's been busy." in the same way someone might make the same joking/sarcastic comment IRL.

Like, my wife and I have absolutely had the conversation:
Me: "You know it's going to take you an hour to get there. Unless you've mastered teleportation."
Her: "Oh, sure, let me just whip out my spellbook right here."
 
Dec 10, 2022
22
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Anyone else find this a slog? There is way too much dialogue. And not in a "get to the boobies" kind of way; in an "every conversation goes on way too long while simultaneously going nowhere" way. I've seen a lot of comments about how witty the dialogue is, and to be fair some of it is decent. But it just goes on and on. And meanwhile nothing is happening either in story terms or on-screen. Take that whole scene of Lily cooking an omelette. There's something like 150 lines of dialogue in this scene. A hundred and fucking fifty. And maybe ten of them could be called character development. The rest are just fluff. Which... a bit of fluff is fine in your story, but not when its 95% of the runtime. I haven't got to chapter two yet because even fast forwarding through all these pointless character exchanges is taking forever.

Frustrating too because the game starts with an attention-grabbing exchange between two women on their way to some kind of meeting; one of whom is worried about the potential for a violent outcome while the other seems to relish the prospect of sharpening her knife on someone's collarbone. Which is an intriguing way to start a story... but it isn't the story we get. Instead we have guy and girls saying lines at each other like 90's sitcom characters. There's no story, nobody establishes an interesting goal, we aren't introduced to any unresolved conflict, nothing. All the while there is a much more interesting scene happening somewhere in this world that we could and should be watching instead. Hopefully things improve in chapter 2 but I have a feeling this game will continue to feel simultaneously bloated and empty.
 

Hordragg

Lesser-Known Mesmer
Game Compressor
Donor
Apr 2, 2019
2,932
10,529
Anyone else find this a slog?
Not at all, no. I never felt like any of the dialogue overstayed it's welcome, it actually felt quite natural to me. I was also highly entertained, most notably upon realizing how one got played by Sam on not having not looked or the whole elven housewife shenanigans with the burger/phone flipper…

As for the intro bit: it's a sneak peek at the yet to be stumbled into mystery. The writing not being in our faces about it is a good thing, in my book; it adds to the suspense, really.
 

Tiur

Well-Known Member
Nov 13, 2021
1,082
2,936
Not at all, no. I never felt like any of the dialogue overstayed it's welcome, it actually felt quite natural to me. I was also highly entertained, most notably upon realizing how one got played by Sam on not having not looked or the whole elven housewife shenanigans with the burger/phone flipper…
I'm with Hordragg here. There's a lot of dialogue, but it's actively entertaining dialogue, and far better written than the vast majority of AVN dialogue. The characters feel distinct and well-fleshed-out, and the humor is well-integrated.
 
Dec 10, 2022
22
126
I'm with Hordragg here. There's a lot of dialogue, but it's actively entertaining dialogue, and far better written than the vast majority of AVN dialogue. The characters feel distinct and well-fleshed-out, and the humor is well-integrated.
I agree with you that the dialogue is well above average - the writer obviously has some talent. But a good writer also knows when to reign it in. The exchanges between the main characters in the house just go on too long while also not saying a whole lot. These people haven't seen each other in ten years or more. But instead of talking about what's happened in their lives, what their current situation is, setting up a goal for the MC, all the basic storytelling stuff, we instead get quippy dialogue about nothing. Sure, it's well written, even entertaining at times. But it is ultimately just fluff. And fluff shouldn't be the bulk of your text.

There's a question a writer should ask themselves when writing a story - is there something more interesting happening elsewhere in your world? If the answer is yes, then why aren't you writing about that instead? Opening your game with hot heterochromatic psycho girl is a great hook. But going from that to cute characters saying cute things to each other for half an hour while nothing else happens is a let down, and kills the momentum of your opening moments. A lot of people are going to get bored halfway through the cooking scene with it's three whole renders and endless dialogue, and give up on this game. Which is a shame because there is potential here. And it's an easy fix. Just condense all the fluff down to a fraction of its current size and inject some actual characters goals and motivation in there instead. Focus less on the clever dialogue and more on keeping the story moving.
 

Kingkyrule

New Member
Sep 10, 2017
13
18
I agree with you that the dialogue is well above average - the writer obviously has some talent. But a good writer also knows when to reign it in. The exchanges between the main characters in the house just go on too long while also not saying a whole lot. These people haven't seen each other in ten years or more. But instead of talking about what's happened in their lives, what their current situation is, setting up a goal for the MC, all the basic storytelling stuff, we instead get quippy dialogue about nothing. Sure, it's well written, even entertaining at times. But it is ultimately just fluff. And fluff shouldn't be the bulk of your text.

There's a question a writer should ask themselves when writing a story - is there something more interesting happening elsewhere in your world? If the answer is yes, then why aren't you writing about that instead? Opening your game with hot heterochromatic psycho girl is a great hook. But going from that to cute characters saying cute things to each other for half an hour while nothing else happens is a let down, and kills the momentum of your opening moments. A lot of people are going to get bored halfway through the cooking scene with it's three whole renders and endless dialogue, and give up on this game. Which is a shame because there is potential here. And it's an easy fix. Just condense all the fluff down to a fraction of its current size and inject some actual characters goals and motivation in there instead. Focus less on the clever dialogue and more on keeping the story moving.
I strongly disagree.

Not everything needs to be plot-driven at a breakneck pace. The slice-of-life genre across all media has gotten so big that 'fluff' has essentially evolved into a subgenre all of its own so there is certainly an audience for it. And while the game's plot will likely ramp up in future updates, having lax carefree moments, especially at the beginning isn't a bad thing, and going off of the reviews and other comments most people do find it enjoyable.

Totally fair if this type of story and pacing isn't your sort of thing, but to suggest the game is being written poorly or incorrectly because of it is just ignorant at best.
 
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Cherubin25

Well-Known Member
Nov 7, 2020
1,090
1,791
Totally fair if this type of story and pacing isn't your sort of thing, but to suggest the game is being written poorly or incorrectly because of it is just ignorant at best.
The thing is, it is not really story. It is dialogue for the sake of dialogue.

I prefer games/stories with lots to read, but I have to say that it is quite annoying for this game. Currently I would give it 2 or maybe 3 out of the 5 stars if I would rate it (which I dont do, it is only 0.2 and it would be unfair to rate it at this point). And the main reason for this is the weak dialogue. MC is basically blabbering the whole time without actually saying something.
 

Kingkyrule

New Member
Sep 10, 2017
13
18
The thing is, it is not really story. It is dialogue for the sake of dialogue.

I prefer games/stories with lots to read, but I have to say that it is quite annoying for this game. Currently I would give it 2 or maybe 3 out of the 5 stars if I would rate it (which I dont do, it is only 0.2 and it would be unfair to rate it at this point). And the main reason for this is the weak dialogue. MC is basically blabbering the whole time without actually saying something.
Story was a poor choice of words on my part. I was more trying to refer to the overall structure of the writing/narrative and the intent behind it with the tone it is going for. But you are right when you say there isn't a lot of story yet.

I can see what you mean when you say it is dialogue for the sake of dialogue, but I don't view that as a negative thing with the sort of tone the game is going for. For example, the Burger Flipper character doesn't push the story forward in any way, but he isn't meant to, he's there just because it's lighthearted and funny, which fits the tone the game wants to have.

I've enjoyed the dialogue and haven't found it weak at all, but that is subjective and I tend to enjoy characters and writing in this sort of style. Really just comes down to personal preference.
 
Dec 10, 2022
22
126
I strongly disagree.

Not everything needs to be plot-driven at a breakneck pace. The slice-of-life genre across all media has gotten so big that 'fluff' has essentially evolved into a subgenre all of its own so there is certainly an audience for it. And while the game's plot will likely ramp up in future updates, having lax carefree moments, especially at the beginning isn't a bad thing, and going off of the reviews and other comments most people do find it enjoyable.

Totally fair if this type of story and pacing isn't your sort of thing, but to suggest the game is being written poorly or incorrectly because of it is just ignorant at best.
What you think is a stylistic choice by the writer, I see as a lack of experienec and self-indulgence. This same writer in a few years will very likely have a better grasp of fundamentals and won't pad out their writing with excessive dialogue. Any other writers who've been doing it for a while will know what I mean because they've been there too. Pacing is one of the hardest things to learn and the pacing at the beginning of this story is objectively poor, whether you can see it or not.
 
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4.50 star(s) 54 Votes