Yeah met all criteria long ago but wont work, but i figured out that I can just cheat her jar into my inventory by interacting with her in the gallery mod. I dont think it'll cause trouble since she isnt connected to any quest before you let her out. fingers crossed x). I have not used gallery mod before tho only on a "gallery mod only save file".You can only feed Lizzy after you have met her for the first time. She first appears after you came for the 10th time in the jar before you go to sleep. After that, you can feed her by "using" the jar in key items on yourself, which makes her come out of said jar.
If the option to come into the jar at night never appeared after you fulfilled all criteria, there is definitively something fishy going on.