Ok so I've played through both available parts and:
Prologue
Renders are good quality though lighting lets them down a little sometimes but this will come with practise and a better lit/non night scene, no noticeable clipping issues ect. and the female characters have realistic proportions which is always nice.
Story is good and the way choices tag back together means the game is well planned and
The text window is at times too large and too opaque for my liking, it obscures some of the good stuff which is an annoyance
On the plus the split comic style panels work really nicely with the more long form dialogue, genuinely impressed by this it makes the scenes less static
A minor nitpick is that the niece Claire very rarely has dialogue that feels a little out of place for her "I envisioned doing this too you every night ...", i don't see her using "envisioned" whereas i do feel that the narrator would, just sits weirdly with me in an otherwise standout aspect of the game.
Chapter 1
Some choices feel less important, also i'm not a fan of the direction picking it becomes at case of permeatations and using rollback to figure out the outcomes, no ta fan of the direction picking segment, though it does give the feeling of being lost which if you where going for that you hit the mark.
There is a clipping issue with the hair pieces on Carina and Lynara where Lyn hugs Carina from behind in the jungle, looks great side on but when you get to see it in the second panel in the two panel reveal starting at "Being an orphaned 'mongrel, half-breed' from a forbidden relationship ..." the hair pieces clipthrough each other could be an issue with off the shelf poses or a simple oops moment, though if i noteced it someone else is likely to as well.
Again i like the way choices streamline back into each other, makes the subtle differences good to pick up on. on a similar note i wonder if you are using scores to track reactions or if you are working on a branching linear model?
on the whole i felt this chapter was a little weaker than the prologue simply because i didn't find the dynamic between the characters as compelling as with the uncle niece dynamic though i do understand building background was pretty important in this chapter and i did like both the princess and Carina. Also the trogs made me smile and a little levity goes a long way in games that are reliant on text.
Writing is great and virtually typo free, i'm interested in the plot and how the prologue ties to the chapters, always been a fan of the two worlds thing.
Character models are great as are posing and particularly expressions, don't know if these are off the peg or made by you two, if it's the latter then you've really done yourself proud
On the whole this is a great VN and is better written than most VNs and games i've come across on here and i'm looking forward to where you take it.
Overall i'd give a good 8 / 10 which for me with a VN is pretty damn good.
The graphics do look slightly outdated but honestly that doesn't bother me, i'm more a guy who wants renders to enhance the story not carry the story.
Recommended
