Few more things I noticed:
1. When being briefed by Umezou on the start of the second morning, he says "Father taught you well". Obviously that should be "YOUR father taught you well", otherwise it sounds like he's referring to his own father.
2. There's at least 2 cases where the protagonist introduces himself to first Saka and Yura, then to Fudeyo, as "Kawamura [1]" rather than "Kawamura Yaichi". I dunno what would cause that, but it's almost a funny inter-language joke (as I'm sure you're aware, "ichi" is Japanese for "1", although I don't see any way that "Ya" could be interpreted as a pair of square brackets).
3. When she's bitching about having to work in your story during her introduction, Fudeyo moans "What did I do to deserve this misfortunate?" Odd mix-up, since as well as being ungrammatical, "misfortunate" isn't even a real word. Obviously should be "misfortune".
4. Oshi suggests renovating the shack to use "to meet the girls outside of privy eyes." A privy is a toilet. You mean "away from prying eyes."
5. When you build the Training Room, Fudeyo wonder what kinds of naughty things you're planning on doing with "your fellow courtesans?" You aren't a courtesan. It should be "me and my fellow courtesans", or simply "your courtesans".
6. On the main Red Petal menu screen, the store has a "Efficienty rating". Should be "Efficiency".
