Hello.
The samples made me come. And the result is light.
The worldbuilding is limited.
The characters are few and different.
The plot is original.
The artistic side is correct.
The protagonist finds a book which turns his life upside down.
The flow of events is fine, though everything is very short and quick. You should probably describe more what is happening and give the scenes some consistency. The barrier between reality and fiction isn't always clear.
The presentation of the characters is lacking, whether the MC and his relatives but also the ones he meets in the other world. So it's difficult to get attached to anybody. You also changed the model of the MC (he was better in the old preview pics for me). His hair is too messy now. And he lost his body hair.
The artistic side seemed good at first but became quite grainy at some point.
The sex scenes are well done but too mechanical and without feelings.
There's not enough choices storywise, just who we have sex with.
The english still needs some work.
Thanks for including a gay scene (though he's forced and takes no pleasure, contrary to the straight one).
Overall, the game is too short to assess it correctly. It needs to be fleshed out.
Good continuation.