Ah my friend, some people are critics, some people offer constructive criticism, others are avid and apreciative fans. Me I like the story mixed with the graphic. I am working on feedback to the author, at no charge. I want the story to develop and see where it goes!
I have a complete word pad saved as Rich Text for spelling and story info if you wish. I posted a note on Patreon.
- May 9, 2018
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DelveArt3d thanks for the response.
With Devon, again it could be down to how you planing it with "things that leave the reader/viewer wanting answers or simply confused". Now I know that it changes a lot of the things. Like my comment about Rachel. Before knowing that the story was coming across to me as things being added in after each update, like you hadn't decided on it before. I get it now, that it's intentional. I guess it's a risk of the mistery and guess work, that has the potential to make it seem hapazard and unthought out.
Despite what might seem like negative comments I do think it's a pretty good game and I'm really enjoying it and looking forward to it.
Finally thanks again for responding and explaining, I hope I remember it all come the next update
*Edit*
DelveArt3d Just thinking you might want to mention that there are "holes" or mystery etc in the game by design in the intro. That there are things that are seemingly unmentioned that will be explained later as the story progresses. The advantage movies have over your game is they come out complete. With the nature of these games coming out in small increments it's easy to assume the mysteries etc you want are oversights.
Also fixed quotes.
If that's intentend then great. Often it's not something that's planned or intended by devs, but rather a result of dear i say poor or lazy writing.
What I meant is there was no thought or inner dialogue, where the MC see's Devon at the lawyers and goes "Oh i recognize her from Breckers, I'll just play it cool like I don't know her". Also the fathers note mentions 5 people from Frontier Global that he trusts, cool. There is no mention that the lawyers or Devon was part of it.
With Devon, again it could be down to how you planing it with "things that leave the reader/viewer wanting answers or simply confused". Now I know that it changes a lot of the things. Like my comment about Rachel. Before knowing that the story was coming across to me as things being added in after each update, like you hadn't decided on it before. I get it now, that it's intentional. I guess it's a risk of the mistery and guess work, that has the potential to make it seem hapazard and unthought out.
My only issue with Alex, was at how easily he rolled over to her black mail. Personally that scene at the start in the show ruined all potential of me seeing him as any elite anything that's revealed later. Even him saying he's going to play along and turn the tables on her, didn't come off as sincere and more like a desperate hope. It does start getting better and undoing that damage of those first impressions for me later in the game thought.
Despite what might seem like negative comments I do think it's a pretty good game and I'm really enjoying it and looking forward to it.
Finally thanks again for responding and explaining, I hope I remember it all come the next update
*Edit*
DelveArt3d Just thinking you might want to mention that there are "holes" or mystery etc in the game by design in the intro. That there are things that are seemingly unmentioned that will be explained later as the story progresses. The advantage movies have over your game is they come out complete. With the nature of these games coming out in small increments it's easy to assume the mysteries etc you want are oversights.
Also fixed quotes.
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- Aug 7, 2017
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So why was the step-mom such a piece of shit that she wouldn't visit the MC while he was recovering? Just show up once and I guess say 'sorry your dad is dead and you've been in a coma. Well bye.' Does she not care about him because he isn't her biological son? Imagine treating someone in your family like that. Geez.
- Apr 2, 2019
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Although the details of her visit aren't shared, she did go see the MC and later states why she wasn't able to visit more often:
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- Sep 26, 2019
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- Aug 12, 2020
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I have just finished the current content. So far this has been my favourite storyline of the 15 games that I have played linked from this site. Very keen to see how this game develops. 10/10 so far....
- Apr 2, 2019
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- Aug 7, 2017
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Yeah I remember what she said but cmon bro you really think someone couldn't at the very least take a couple of lunch breaks to visit their father just died been in a coma step-son a few times within a three month period? Something that ridiculous has to have been written intentionally.
Some comments seem to be made by emotionally needy people. It is explained she is under severe financial difficulty and trying to look out for her family and assets. The reader can hold the grudge if they feel the need. Remember this graduating academy student has been in a military type school for many years, with training. So come to grips with the story line peeps. When you are under threat of blackmail, the first response does NOT have to be fight or flight. You may go into observation, cooperation, and recording, looking for who is involved and where future advantage can be taken. Revenge served up cold maybe very sweet indeed.
- Dec 30, 2019
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- Apr 2, 2019
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And seeing as it gives the MC a perfectly fine in-game explanation to resent her and consequently the player for not pursuing her as an LI it may very well be written intentionally. A way for the player to not feel like an ass whatever they may choose: holding a grudge or being forgiving. I for one had far greater trouble picking up on the MC downplaying his skills to practically everyone including the player.
- Aug 7, 2017
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Unfortunately, if you choose a resentment type path the game still plays out the same. Still help her with her business she still blows MC at the hot tub. It's kinda lame.
- Jul 12, 2020
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Interesting storyline so far. Renders good, shaping up quite nicely indeed.
Lot of spelling and grammar errors though that need looking into but otherwise look forward to seeing which direction it goes in. Also the points you obtain (from walkthrough, where Zoey is pretty accurate) do not line up in many cases with what the game says you have. But he does stress that the system was not fully implemented so will assume this gets lookd at.
I would also add as others have, there is some major plot inconsistencies which I would hope will be resolved at some point in the story (such as Rachel knowing not real brother etc). What bothers me there from a story point of view is there was no 'inner monologue' regarding that such as "How does she know that, what else she might know" etc etc. Seems very off right now but again, that might come to light in future updates in which case fine.
Otherwise, all good stuff.
Lot of spelling and grammar errors though that need looking into but otherwise look forward to seeing which direction it goes in. Also the points you obtain (from walkthrough, where Zoey is pretty accurate) do not line up in many cases with what the game says you have. But he does stress that the system was not fully implemented so will assume this gets lookd at.
I would also add as others have, there is some major plot inconsistencies which I would hope will be resolved at some point in the story (such as Rachel knowing not real brother etc). What bothers me there from a story point of view is there was no 'inner monologue' regarding that such as "How does she know that, what else she might know" etc etc. Seems very off right now but again, that might come to light in future updates in which case fine.
Otherwise, all good stuff.
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- Feb 14, 2018
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Good game so far. The story is captivating enough to spend time playing this.
Plenty of sexy female characters that i would like to get to know intimatly. The gramatical errors does not make it unplayable, so i will give this little gem 2.
Great work by the Dev and i hope we get to see more soon.
Plenty of sexy female characters that i would like to get to know intimatly. The gramatical errors does not make it unplayable, so i will give this little gem 2
.Great work by the Dev and i hope we get to see more soon.
- Jan 12, 2020
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Just finished playing and I LOOOOOOOOVE IT!!
LOL the MC is like some Isekai or Gary Stu character, Love it.
I got NO complaints. Stories good nothing to far fetched. YES that includes how he's getting into every woman's pants. I mean come on the dudes has ELITE seduction skills.
DelveArt3d
............................................PURRRFUCT...
Also make sure you get your developer tag
LOL the MC is like some Isekai or Gary Stu character, Love it.
I got NO complaints. Stories good nothing to far fetched. YES that includes how he's getting into every woman's pants. I mean come on the dudes has ELITE seduction skills.
DelveArt3d
............................................PURRRFUCT...
Also make sure you get your developer tag
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- Aug 7, 2017
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I know! I loved it when he even had deep connections in the coffee industry! Of course, even with all that property and connections can't forget to clean that pool. I'm hoping someone will take a shot at him and he'll catch the bullet!
Now the question is: if the MC has ELITE skills but that banker dude EASILY took him out, does that make banker dude SUPER ELITE?
- Apr 2, 2019
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So much this. There's also his developing careers as photographer and camwhore-site owner. Cleaning the pool feels like his form of zen gardening at this point.