I'm sorry but that was some of the most cringe writing I've ever seen. That route with matt reduces nat to gutter trash. At least with darryl he's there by invitation, matt's just scum and it's completely against the character of nat to take any interest in him outside of an ntr route, which the scene isn't available to an ntr route to spite ethan so you pretty much pasted it in the wrong spot imo. It would fit in an ethan oblivious route for sure too. I'm honestly pretty disappointed with this one and would rather not have it been made at all, sorry if that comes off harsh. Idk that was just a really tasteless way to get her to push the boundaries on her own. When she asked ethan if it she was allowed to be a hotwife to find a guy on her own, in isolation that's fine as a tease, but from 3rd person view the woman giving it up to that sort of dude is how you implode a relationship and possibly land your husband in jail if he has any spine. Idk maybe this is a me thing but I've known people like that and it always ends in physical conflict. You should write more scenes focusing more on nat's relationship with ethan and her teasing him tbh. Even worse when she gets back to ethan's car and hears carl ran off she gets pissy at him for "leaving her", its insane how in poor taste she was written there and all because she caught them fucking. You should have added more choices so she doesn't just get railroaded into meeting a dude who thinks he's a snowflake and becoming his bitch 30 seconds after meeting him. Also because he's in aquaintence with jenna given their interaction on the cheating route he isn't supposed to be written to have some sort of irresistible game, he's just another dumb jock under jenna's thumb. The line about nat feeling like she was evolving as a hotwife was terrible, cuz all she was doing was letting a random dude treat her like a cum rag. nats whole appeal is she is the polar opposite of jenna, but that series of interactions and events makes her the same, or on the road to it, leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Idk maybe it's cuz it reminds me of something from a long time ago with an ex of an ex, basically reminds me of matt and it took an effort of will not to assault him for being such a brazen chode even around strangers. People like that tend to disappear after high school since their social skills are really bad, the best hope they have is connections or daddy's money, and it annoys me to see that sort of personality portrayed as something good. It's a very specific type of person where when I meet them alarms go off in my head screaming at me to knock some sense into them because they tend to cause problems for people, whether in social environments or at work environments, all they do is cause problems until no one's left to bail them out, it's very unpleasant especially when they are comfortable lying their way out of accoutability. My relationship with the girl in particular was over because I couldn't respect her anymore because you have to have some sort of brain damage to have ever dated someone like that, I saw her as a cute airhead originally but then I started seeing her as a moron with no common sense, and it poisoned how I treated her. Guess it's something I never really got over cuz from them on I started being a lot harder on myself on what kind of woman I would allow myself to try to date, like I didn't scrutinize their past at all but to me it was the equivalent of finding out she used to eat shit or drink vomit or something really sick. Maybe I should look at it in a more positive light in that when I meet that sort of dude, if you're there with a girl, see how she responds to him. If she doesn't respond with revulsion the same way that you do or at least indifference, it's a sign you're not compatible. That's probably what I learned then I was barely out of my teens and didn't really think about compatibility, it was always hey sup are you dtf. Idk every time I've known a dude like that he was always a bitch on the inside, and it fucked with my head how anyone ever bought the act. I don't like thinking of people as less than human for their associations but life experience has shown me it's a fair assessment. Idk it's just such a 180 for nat to be responsive to a transparent sociopathic narcissist when the very writing in that same segment it was made clear she wasn't susceptible to dudes swagger by itself, yet she instantly spreads her legs for a random snowflake who is convinced he's important, so important that he needs to find someone to put down and single out his predator crush to fuck specifically to fuck with him. It's too degenerate for me I'm sorry.
The carl route on the other hand, I'm curious to see if it develops at all. I didn't like the writing overall in this one either it was too "heady", not sure how else to describe it. Nat shows up to the party with some sort of calculus battle plan and the descriptions of what she's thinking comes across as awkward to me. Overall I kinda like the idea of hotwife being a force for good and building up a dude's confidence instead of just being a loose slut.
What keeps nat sexy is she is a quality wife first and foremost, or a queen like someone else liked to put, that means standards, that means not getting wet for a lowlife and honestly you missed a good opportunity there to establish her character there by adding that option in. The cheating routes make sense since she's established as fucked in the head early on, but to have that behavior come out of nowhere on a route it shouldn't exist in is pretty bad writing. Every route has some reason behind x or y being a valid choice, even if it's a dumb choice and the reason is kind of a stretch. This one came out of left field and just made me go wtf. Your story ofc, you do with it what you decide your way. Just my honest take. You can say it's great that it's clear there's a very definitive route split here for which kind of hotwife she leans into becoming, and that's definitely a plus since people like that sort of thing like opposites. I just think the execution was very poor and for that particular route nats character has to be established from an early trigger in the game to be vindictive or toxic in some form. Like I said before it would have felt perfectly congruent on the red route, definitely not on the pink route. Problem is on the red route their marriage seems to fall apart so you can't really plug her into the party there because she's not likely to meet carl, and if she goes there through jenna or matt when she goes to the club without ethan you cut out a majority of the content pasting it in and have to write a ton of lines to make it make sense why she's there and build up her interaction. Too time consuming and not cost efficient.
Either way looking forward to seeing what you come up with on the next update, and that my review doesn't demotivate you or anything, it's not intended to do so it's just post play feedback and honest thoughts. I guess what else I can say is, you portrayed a sociopath very well, if I would actually get mad reading about it. It had more to do with how retarded nats responsiveness to him was but you wrote him in a way that has reminded me of people I've actually known in person. Reminds me of when I asked that girl "are you retarded?". She got so offended but I was like why aren't you more offended at how retarded you are? Realized I was wearing kid gloves with someone and how it compromised me. It's funny thinking back on it now but at the same time I'm like damn can't believe I've been carrying this in some corner of my heart. May as well ask myself if I'm retarded cuz it's not like I wasn't aware she wasn't that bright, guess the mdma had me playing beatles songs in my head over critically thinking.
Whelp this has been some splendid therapy, thanks for listening to my ted talk.
