Can't speak for others who get off on being doormatted and used like a slave then eventually disposed of, but for me personally the appeal is the idea of how far she'd go to get me off. I'm kinda fucked in the head cuz degrading women gets me off, and seeing her willing to desecrate the sanctity of her marriage all to please her husband because of his fetish is very erotic to me. It's because like you said, she's doing things that you associate exclusively with "the worst kind of woman". It's a mindfuck of well if she's doing it specifically for her husband, it also makes her "the best kind of woman". Think about it she's willing to basically brand herself as a whore for the rest of her life, throw away her dignity and lose her status as an ideal woman, and she's doing it purely for the sexual gratification of her husband. She's putting aside any ego or reservation she has about the labels etc and letting herself be a whore for her husband, because making him happy makes her happy. It's more work than just being a dutiful vanilla stay at home wife. The whole queen of spade angle is the idea that she learns to enjoy being a dirty whore once she accepts that this is what will get her husband off, as in she enjoys making him feel good. The idea of ethan taking a sub route and having nat take more charge in the relationship is him being able to let go of the reigns and let her show him what she's willing to do for him without needing to be told, cuz anyone can do what they're told, it takes a different person to be able to do something good for their loved ones, even if its something that comes at a personal expense. Jenna trying to rationalize it is great and all but ultimately her marriage is shit compared to ethan and nat's, jenna manipulates sam to let her fuck other guys because she's a selfish whore, while nat is a selfless whore who does it to please her husband. It's why sam comes across as a worm and jenna leaves a bad taste in your mouth whenever she speaks. Their relationship is the negative form of ethan and nat's, of what you get when the wife is a bad wife, you end up with little more with a porn star(because she can't do anything else) whose every action is for the purpose of feeding her narcissism(trying to corrupt nat at first meet even if she isn't interested in her lifestyle, and going as far as to try to seduce ethan to try to manipulate nat into cheating on him or just feed her vanity by getting a married man to cheat on his wife behind her back). It's a very stark contrast and it's all internal, even though they're both taking relatively similar physical actions of being whores the meaning and motivations behind them are what separate them as people.
It's also why those netorase visual novels come with the option to stop what they're doing later. it's proof that she was doing it for him because the relationship is proven to not be driven by it, it's just something they did for a sexual thrill and it centered around her indulging her husband's perversion. It's the idea that a woman can be that utterly selfless in her relationship that she's willing to play a role like that, which without a doubt would be mentally physically and emotionally taxing, and worst case scenario ends up divorced and marriageable. Like for nat she's not divorcing ethan and then doing ok for herself. She's the unfaithful party so she's the one who would end up with reputation destruction, and if she gets a spade tat or a kid that's like putting the red A from scarlet letter on her forehead. Basically the more filthy she gets for ethan, the more she's demonstrating she's all in on their marriage, and I'm hoping the author puts in the stop the cuck play at the end or even at several points in the game to demonstrate that he's the one fueling her behavior rather than it being something nat doing for herself. It's also the angle of ok she's having good sex with an experienced porn star lover, but she's able to give it up without a second thought because her relationship with her husband dwarfs it. It's a pretty primal fear a lot of people can have of the potential betrayal of the ones you love, especially after you've given a lot to them like a husband in a marriage is giving up his future to be with just this woman. Having that betrayed is like saying yea those 5-10 years you spent with her and sacrificed for her, that was a complete waste and you were being duped, better luck next time. So being able to play with that fear as well as having her prove that it was an unfounded fear, even while staring it dead in the eyes, with her showing that she can't be tempted away, is also an appealing thought. Like there's better ways to prove your loyalty in real life but as a porn fantasy it makes sense.
Maybe it's a messed up perspective caused by trauma but for me, my only metric for how much a woman cared about me was how far she'll go for me. One of the ways she can demonstrate devotion is going outside her sexual comfort zone, cuz that's vulnerability. It's why sex doesn't mean anything with a porn star or prostitute, she's just doing a service you're paying for, she's done it a million times and you're just another john without a face or a name, you're nobody special to her. It's why getting nudes from an actual woman is more viscerally arousing than just looking at them on the internet. She's being vulnerable with you and doing something special for you, specifically. Maybe not really but she is aware you could say something really mean or do something fucked up like posting them on the internet. It's why its a lot more arousing when she's showing her face, that's trust, she's saying she trusts you and is willing to put herself on the line for you, it means something vs if its someone who it doesn't mean anything to her because she doesn't care or is a porn star and is comfortable showing her body anyway. It works the same with sex acts and why submissives progressively do more extreme sex acts over time when they find new partners. They have to show the new one that the new relationship is more important to her than the old one, which means going further out of her comfort zone as opposed to people who settle on each other just end up going through the motions in a relationship out of convenience, but they grow complacent and resentful. Particularly since a lot of women have a complex about the sanctity of their body since society puts a bunch of deranged shit in their head from childhood. It says a lot if she's able to put that stuff aside and put her focus on a relationship with a single person regardless of what it might look like on the outside. I've dated women who were a lot more experienced than me and their limits had been pushed so far that I realized I would have to do things I actually wasn't comfortable doing to get her off, like to stand out from previous partners, things I'm not sure anyone mentally healthy would be willing to do outside of a one time novelty lmao. But going back to nat, that's why the fetish shit you end up doing with her means something, she's a vanilla wife who is going far outside of her comfort zone and doing things that are undignified of a woman of her stature, all because her husband ended up with a porn induced fetish. Instead of treating him and his sexual satisfaction like a problem to avoid or to cure, she treated it as something important to her. That relationship I talked about earlier fell apart because I didn't want to continue escalating the degrading shit she needed me to do to her to get her off, I wasn't worth it to her and my own mental sanctity wasn't important enough to her compared to her wanting to get off in more extreme ways. That's why the idea of nat going so far for her husband at the expense of herself appeals to me, it shows you she cares a lot, enough to be a nasty whore just for him. It ultimately adds more meaning if you give both of them the option to go back to vanilla to show 1 he can give up his fetish and put his wife over his fetish, and 2 that she can give up what we're led to believe is really good sex and put her husband over sexual gratification, or from a another more vanilla angle that she can recognize that there are lines that you shouldn't cross and decides to put an end to it so that she can still look herself in a mirror and call herself a good wife. Like the idea of her getting pregnant by some other dude as a fetish fine, in practice it's bad and especially since ethan chooses to let nat lead and decide where their relationship goes, you get more meaning from her being the one who reigns his fetish in to keep it from going out of control. It's why the scene in the update meant something that she wanted her husband to fuck her rather than kicking him out. She knew he would accept being kicked out cuz he's in full sub mode, so her telling him to fuck her after they filmed their video shows that the purpose of everything they did up to that point was to build his arousal. It just sucks the actual sex scenes were kind of terrible and ethan and nat had like a 10 second scene.
So yea hope that mess helped you understand better from my perspective at least. The dudes who for them its an expression of their own submissiveness it's basically all the stuff I described about how low the woman is willing to go for someone she cares for. For that kind of husband him able and willing to suffer for his wife, and even for her pleasure while she does things that are degrading to him like cheating on him and calling him inferior etc, that's just a masochistic expression of love. Some people find their meaning through how much they suffer for the people they care about. I'm of the personal opinion that someone who loves you finds meaning in how much they can relieve suffering or bring joy, but different strokes different folks.
Either way nat is hot. Would be nice if an ethan dom route happens eventually I know the point system is there and riya is there. Be good to see a threesome route or a nat sub route where she winds up in a collar. Probably wishful thinking on my part. Either way glad the game is popping off and continuing to get regular updates. Seems like most of the games on here fall off a cliff once the author realizes how much work needs to go into finishing a game and keeping it coherent and well paced all the way to the end. Some people are complaining that this games becoming too singular but it's like unless you're willing to pay the man to quit his job and work on this full time, finishing the game and making sure all the routes are well polished and completed with multiple endings is a lot of time and effort.