I played the game and know a bit of Twine, and I liked your work on the Goblin Brides. Here are my recommendations/advice -
Thanks for the feedback!
I see you're asking in general for more explanation to the player, but it is really worth it? The present systems are not complicated at all, anyone can figure them out. I'm a fan of the From Software design style: Keep things a bit obstuse, and let the player figure it out.
About the UI bar thing and char sheet, I like to keep things as minimalistic and simple as possible, so I try to present to the player only the neccesary info to play the game. Name of the game, author, etc are not neccesary things at all. So why include them?
The silence/reduce music thing might be a good idea yeah.
4-> Does it matter how many passages there are? Separating them make things way simplier for me. I hate to see a page with a lot of ifs, it makes things way more difficult to understand for me. But maybe you're refering to something else, I'm not an expert coder at all, I just want things to work well enough for me to tell a story.
5->Again, keeping things a bit obstuse. Does the player really need to know what the choices they are selecting will do? I think it is more fun if they do not.
6-> I don't plan to create a big combat system. The fights that the princess get on will all be text oriented.
This is a big project, I'll try to keep things as simple as possible. Lots of project get abandoned because people overreach. My objective is not to recreate the Neverwinter module in twine faithfully, instead I just want to synthetize the story, which I think it's really awesome, into a simplier format.