- Nov 19, 2021
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I suppose I'll look for an actual response to my question elsewhere. Thanks for the rant.
- Thread starter VenusWaltz
- Start date
So I'm more or less still in the early part of the game, but for some reason I can't get into it. I'm not sure what it is, but it I feel really detached with pretty much all of the characters. Aside for Billy (who is also kind of a caricature of a psuedo Guido archetype) most of them feel kinda... empty? Not sure if its the expressions/tone of the writing. I'm just not feeling engaged to an extent.
Maybe the conversation MC has with Erika about being weird as the only one who acts "normal" really rings true. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not trying to hurl shade but it feels like something is missing. I'm used to grindy/chore-like VN/"sandbox" games, so its not like its a matter of people being all up on MC from the start I'm looking for.
A bit of a nitpick, but was kind of expecting something along the horizon line at the university in the first shot. Felt really... weird/rushed not at least having something around the campus where Old down has a dense array of scenery around it. The campus is supposedly in the city still, so it kind of hurts immersion there a bit too looking like its in a vast open array of land in some rural township. As something thats a bit of an early scene it caught me offguard given the big "oh man the traffic is so brutal to and from campus."
Maybe the conversation MC has with Erika about being weird as the only one who acts "normal" really rings true. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not trying to hurl shade but it feels like something is missing. I'm used to grindy/chore-like VN/"sandbox" games, so its not like its a matter of people being all up on MC from the start I'm looking for.
A bit of a nitpick, but was kind of expecting something along the horizon line at the university in the first shot. Felt really... weird/rushed not at least having something around the campus where Old down has a dense array of scenery around it. The campus is supposedly in the city still, so it kind of hurts immersion there a bit too looking like its in a vast open array of land in some rural township. As something thats a bit of an early scene it caught me offguard given the big "oh man the traffic is so brutal to and from campus."
- Dec 5, 2020
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Yeah, and why does this have to be a dumb "full" harem game? It was your statement after all. LostTacos just wandered how it's even going to end up a harem, because "the characters are all pretty complicated and they don't really have a lot in common with each other." And I agree with this, even Erika and Harlow, the most open and easy-going girls, imho, immediately begin to test the ground of the relationship between the MC and each of them, as soon as they realize that such a relationship exists with both of them. And it seems to me that the tension is accumulating and will only grow. But those two are the most couplable in this sense, Harlow seems to be open to experiments, and Erika seems to like her, and she is certainly not shy. But how the author can naturally create a harem with Vanessa (or Prof) and any other girl is a mystery to me. Well, unless the dev is going to do exactly that "dumb harem game" trick you mentioned, I don't see how these women now can accept the polyamorous relationship, it would be so out of their characters. Especially Vanessa. This kiss was the ultimate sign of trust to the MC, if you take into account her personality and backstory. And then she finds out that the dude was pounding a couple of chicks in the meantime, yes, this is the best way to develop a relationship with her. And not even to mention how this will affect their fake couple show in public.
- Sep 12, 2018
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yup, you and other interested in "harem" have already (at least) 3 chicks (and that qualifies as "harem" imo) that wouldnt mind that kind of relations (side chicks included, as some of those have been proved to have more than side role in mc life for now), so what exactly is a problem? all chicks cant be in harem?
well, you are probably right, and this hardly can be that type of "harem" game.
that would be it, no more, no less.
- Dec 5, 2020
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Nah, I'm not a big fan of harem at all (although I won't say no to it if the dev insists). It's just that this game has the "harem" tag, and usually in this kind of game you have to expect the main LIs to be part of the harem one way or another. So it's not a problem but a virtue in my book if girls who don't fit into a harem aren't part of it. It's even more funny that BaDIK for example doesn't have that tag.
- Sep 12, 2018
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unfortunately tag system is far from being perfect.
partly due to its limitations, partly (or mainly) due to virtually every second user having his own "definition" of various tags.
"harem" is just one example there/here.
- Mar 23, 2019
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Nobody has any love for Harlow? She is the best, with Erika a close second. They are the only two that show genuine interest in the MC, and I could imagine him together with either of them. Marissa is flaming, but I just don't see that they have much in common, other than passion, which doesn't bode well for anything long term. Kate, I just don't see it. It seems massively forced for the story, to me. What does Kate find interesting in the MC other than his youth? I can see a FWB with her if she doesn't relate to any guys her own age, but that is it.
Reily is exceedingly boring. With so many cute LIs with actual enthusiasm, I am not sure why the MC keeps having to repeatedly twist her arm just to go out on a date. I mean, seriously MC, why pick the friend with the least interest to pursue? I keep wanting him to have a bit more self-respect.
Vanessa has promise, I get what the dev is trying to do with her repressed nature, but truly I can't see that she has any true interest in the MC. What do they have in common? Nothing so far. I am hoping as the story progresses, her so far slight interest will become more believable with some actual connection. Remember, people usually need something in common to be a good match. So far all the MC has is that he is there, and willing to take all of Vanessa's bad attitude and chilly nature without running away.
This AVN is enjoyable because of the diversity and relative depth of some of the characters, compared to many AVNs around here.
Just a few thoughts to the dev:
1) I love long bouts of dialog in games, where it is related to the story, or builds upon the character's relationships somehow, but honestly, in AMFA, so much of the dialog seems like filler. It does not move the story forward in any way, nor the characters relationships. If you took out about 80% of the dialog, would any player notice? It seems each LI has only one subject they can talk about with the MC. For Kate it is the psych program, for Erika all she cares about is the fights, Vanessa only cares about her modeling, Riley, it's the coffee shop rebuilding. Harlow is a little better, where she and the MC talk about the experiment but also a little bit about her long term career goals, which is great. More of that for each other character. Find something else other than a single subject for each of them to talk about, and it will be much more interesting for the players. The same subjects, update after update, get tired and monotonous. Mix it up!
I am not suggesting actually cutting the dialog, then the game would just be a slideshow of scenes, but I strongly suggest trying to make the dialog more interesting and important to the player. Either have some new story aspect worth talking about, other than that the coffee tastes good, or that the next test is coming up, or what the characters are doing tonight, etc, etc. Perhaps generate a new mystery to talk about. Or even better, have the characters open up more about their past or future interests long term, something that the MC and the LIs can emotionally connect with. You have done that a little with a one scene each with Erika, Marissa, and Vanessa, but that is only a brief moment in hours of reading. Much more of this would be a big improvement.
2) I enjoy humor in AVNs as much as anyone, but the humor in AMFA is very much in the extremely cringey camp. Enough with the monkey shirt, and the MC acting like an idiot. Sure, that might get a girls attention for a moment, but very few women enjoy an LI that can never be serious for more than a moment. It is very tiring in real life, and not realistic for an AVN. I would cut down the cringey, silly humor, at least 80-90%. There must be something the MC can do with Vanessa other than bad comedy shows and even more terrible dancing, that would only get eye rolls in real life. Can't they go for a walk and enjoy nature? Or maybe an amusement park? The fancy restaurant was a good idea for the MC and Vanessa to get serious for a few minutes, but why ruin it with a silly sushi eat-a-thon? Who ever heard of such a thing? No self-respecting sushi restaurant would ever have an all you can eat sushi contest. Hamachi isn't hot dogs.
Plus, if my date left me at the table to gorge herself on sushi for an impromptu eating contest in the middle of our pleasant dinner, I would text her I would see them later (maybe), and go home.
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- Nov 1, 2020
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Thanks for the feedback, everybody.
Everybody has valid points and criticisms. I'm taking everything into consideration. I'm responding just because I want to let everybody know that their comments are not falling on deaf ears. I don't really like responding too often and I could go into more details but I'm biased and I don't want to sway opinions. Clearly not everything is working, so I'm always open to suggestions and I'm willing to make changes to improve whenever possible and reasonable. I know some things are working though, so I thanks to everybody just enjoying the game for what it is, too.
I wanted to let everybody know that I do have a plan for all of the characters. I have an outline for how things are plotted out. Using Vanessa as an example, I know how her story ends. I know the results of the modeling competition. I know the outcome of your relationship with her in the end. Everything is in there for a reason. The same goes for everybody else. I wanted to say that to give some peace of mind to have people who have their doubts and think I'm just making things up as I go along.
I appreciate the discussion, everybody. Thanks.
Everybody has valid points and criticisms. I'm taking everything into consideration. I'm responding just because I want to let everybody know that their comments are not falling on deaf ears. I don't really like responding too often and I could go into more details but I'm biased and I don't want to sway opinions. Clearly not everything is working, so I'm always open to suggestions and I'm willing to make changes to improve whenever possible and reasonable. I know some things are working though, so I thanks to everybody just enjoying the game for what it is, too.
I wanted to let everybody know that I do have a plan for all of the characters. I have an outline for how things are plotted out. Using Vanessa as an example, I know how her story ends. I know the results of the modeling competition. I know the outcome of your relationship with her in the end. Everything is in there for a reason. The same goes for everybody else. I wanted to say that to give some peace of mind to have people who have their doubts and think I'm just making things up as I go along.
I appreciate the discussion, everybody. Thanks.
- Mar 23, 2019
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Hey Venus. Thanks for considering our thoughts. I think most of us enjoy the game and the characters. We just want to offer our suggestions how to make future updates even better, if you think they are valid based on the story you want to tell.
I am just suggesting some tweaks that I think would help. I am sure you have a plan for all of the characters, even the ice cold Vanessa and stand-offish Riley. I am all for slow burns. But there should be some sparks of interest, some teasing banter in their dialog, something to keep the interest of the player and make a future closer relationship with the MC and LI seem likely.
It is not about making the relationships happen faster necessarily. You can very successfully keep the slow burn going on for years of dev time. Look at Halfway House as an example, if you've ever played it. I has been in development for years, and the two main LIs are still not really together. But you can tell that the female LI has had interest in the MC from the beginning, with her cute insults, wanting to talk to him all the time, wanting to see what he is doing, standing close to him, little brushes of her hand when they are doing chores together, etc, etc. You get the idea.
If you keep 2 people together for a 2.5 years (game dev time) and they still don't seem to really like each other, have anything in common, or be interested in each other, it is not going to seem realistic or believable when you, via the future plot, put them together as a couple later in the game.
Plus, it is not fun as a player, to me at least, to see the MC pursuing several LIs with clearly no interest for update after update. It's not like the MC is living in a shelter with no women available. Why is he pursuing such cold and uninterested LIs when he has several around that actually like him? That is what I mean. The balance between the LIs is way off if you are trying to make each of them a future LI (or some combination), in the game future.
Plus, really, the most important improvement, in my opinion, like I mentioned earlier, is the dialog. Every line of dialog you write should have meaning, otherwise it is filler and should not be there. The player can tell. Pick up any decent novel off your shelf, and you can see that all dialog has meaning in a novel. Either it is about moving the story forward, bringing up other branches in the story, or revealing something about the characters for the reader. Its not about just making conversation to pass time until the next scene.
I am just suggesting some tweaks that I think would help. I am sure you have a plan for all of the characters, even the ice cold Vanessa and stand-offish Riley. I am all for slow burns. But there should be some sparks of interest, some teasing banter in their dialog, something to keep the interest of the player and make a future closer relationship with the MC and LI seem likely.
It is not about making the relationships happen faster necessarily. You can very successfully keep the slow burn going on for years of dev time. Look at Halfway House as an example, if you've ever played it. I has been in development for years, and the two main LIs are still not really together. But you can tell that the female LI has had interest in the MC from the beginning, with her cute insults, wanting to talk to him all the time, wanting to see what he is doing, standing close to him, little brushes of her hand when they are doing chores together, etc, etc. You get the idea.
If you keep 2 people together for a 2.5 years (game dev time) and they still don't seem to really like each other, have anything in common, or be interested in each other, it is not going to seem realistic or believable when you, via the future plot, put them together as a couple later in the game.
Plus, it is not fun as a player, to me at least, to see the MC pursuing several LIs with clearly no interest for update after update. It's not like the MC is living in a shelter with no women available. Why is he pursuing such cold and uninterested LIs when he has several around that actually like him? That is what I mean. The balance between the LIs is way off if you are trying to make each of them a future LI (or some combination), in the game future.
Plus, really, the most important improvement, in my opinion, like I mentioned earlier, is the dialog. Every line of dialog you write should have meaning, otherwise it is filler and should not be there. The player can tell. Pick up any decent novel off your shelf, and you can see that all dialog has meaning in a novel. Either it is about moving the story forward, bringing up other branches in the story, or revealing something about the characters for the reader. Its not about just making conversation to pass time until the next scene.
- Nov 1, 2020
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This goes back to the part of my issue in knowing everything that's going to happen. I always keep these things in mind when I write for all of the characters. Their rationale makes sense to me. I've already laid the groundwork for the future. There are details in the dialogue and conversations that are sprinkled in that answer some of the questions you're asking. I haven't seen it mentioned or talked about before, so I'm assuming either people don't care, it's too subtle to notice and I didn't write it well enough, or it was just skipped over completely. But there are important details that have always been there that are hints and clues to speculate if you're looking for it. Unless I missed it, there was one conversation in particular I thought most people would find important but it hasn't been brought up here. I guess that's another issue of mine and my disconnect. I just don't like pointing things out specifically because it feels like I'm explaining and giving things away. I almost don't even want to mention it but since it's already in there, I figured I would mention it. I understand those who might be frustrated if it feels like you're just treading water until you get somewhere. I do keep this in mind even though it might not seem like it. The biggest thing I could do is to just keep working until I get to the destination.
Buddy my saved games depend on your port. Please update this android port
- Nov 1, 2020
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I don't have a set number because the episodes all vary in length. I'd estimate we're somewhere just past halfway in terms of the story, not counting the ending. Can't say for sure though.
- Sep 30, 2019
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Since I like the game overall, I try to focus on the positive aspects of the girls and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Vanessa starts quite cold, but we now know she has emotional trauma. She's opening up, but it's difficult for her bc for many years now she has been without affection from presumably anyone. She lets us take photos of her for our personal collection - you only do this for someone special. She's clearly wary that allowing feelings to interfere will reduce her focus but it doesn't mean there are no feelings there. Realistically, she must be craving intimacy (both physical and emotional). It's cute to think that she's probably a virgin
As for Riley, there were some cute moments with her, e.g. when she (somewhat reluctantly) feeds as a fry or tells the girls "I know he likes me the most". She also tells us "I know you better than anybody" and then implies everyone shows it in a different way. Again, her main issue is losing focus on the objective (using the same plot device twice isn't too good).
I'm sure that both Vanessa's and Riley's attraction towards us would increase substantially if they saw us fight and win in the PGs. It would awaken an animalistic side that's buried deeply in so-called 'well bred' ladies such as them
Vanessa starts quite cold, but we now know she has emotional trauma. She's opening up, but it's difficult for her bc for many years now she has been without affection from presumably anyone. She lets us take photos of her for our personal collection - you only do this for someone special. She's clearly wary that allowing feelings to interfere will reduce her focus but it doesn't mean there are no feelings there. Realistically, she must be craving intimacy (both physical and emotional). It's cute to think that she's probably a virgin
As for Riley, there were some cute moments with her, e.g. when she (somewhat reluctantly) feeds as a fry or tells the girls "I know he likes me the most". She also tells us "I know you better than anybody" and then implies everyone shows it in a different way. Again, her main issue is losing focus on the objective (using the same plot device twice isn't too good).
I'm sure that both Vanessa's and Riley's attraction towards us would increase substantially if they saw us fight and win in the PGs. It would awaken an animalistic side that's buried deeply in so-called 'well bred' ladies such as them
I just started this VN, for those who already are ahead: will the MC become more open to his surroundings? I mean, at the beginning he seems to get bored of everything, he doesn't seem happy to meet people, he doesn't want to make friends, gets uncomfortable just by speaking to someone, and so on....
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- Sep 12, 2018
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No, I just want an MC with a proper backbone and not just one that follows the flow, like the MC in both the VNs in my signature....
- Sep 12, 2018
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sorry to disappoint you then.
perhaps it would be better to look elsewhere, games such as 23sisters, wvm, grandma house and similar...that should suit your taste better.
- Sep 12, 2018
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i have tried those, as i have tried the two from your sigs, so hence the recommendation.
not exactly my cup of tea either of them, though probably due to diff reasons than in your case.
games recommendations subforum probably would be the best place to find games you are loking for.
to not go OT here.