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VN Ren'Py Completed A New Beginning [Ch. 1-12] [JJsworld]

3.00 star(s) 22 Votes

OhWee

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Jun 17, 2017
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It would be cool to empty the Save folder before posting an Update because it is confusing ^^ (y) (y) ;)
See this post:
https://f95zone.to/threads/a-new-beginning-ch-1-7-jjsworld.58797/post-4881241

And yeah, my bad! Yes, I will see that these are removed in the next (Chapter 8) full release for y'all! Chapter 8 will also have an 'update' release so people probably should just delete those saves from the saves folder for now, unless you like Lord Wee for some reason, or just overwrite the saves with your own.
 

maik2579

Newbie
Nov 14, 2018
78
40
i try this current new.
my impression is good so far, but please highlight the thinking
maybe in italic or in quotation marks
edit:
for description of the situations you should print without a name
 
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OhWee

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Just a note regarding some of the recent comments and reviews, from my perspective.


1) Some people have commented on the quality of the renders. As JJsworld has pointed out, he's new to all this, and he is on a lower end machine. So rendering at a higher resolution isn't really a viable option for him for several reasons.

No post work is being done on the renders (not his talent), and when you are rendering multiple (4+) characters in Daz Studio in the same scene, you quickly hit the Iray VRAM wall at higher resolutions, and high resolution renders take considerably longer to do. When you are trying to crank out 150+ renders a month on your spare time on lower end hardware, render time is definitely a factor.

As someone that works with multiple characters regularly on a higher end machine in my own 3D comic, I am well aware of this issue, so I understand the tradeoff that was made here.

Anyways, that's why this story is rendered and set up for a 720P presentation, and not a higher resolution.



2) I need to put this in large caps:
THIS IS A VISUAL (KINETIC) NOVEL, NOT A GAME!
Note the Kinetic Novel tag, and also note that Ren'Py at it's heart is a Visual Novel engine, that while it is incidentally often adapted to certain types of games, that is not the case here...

I still really think this belongs in the Comics section, so that people don't go downloading this expecting an actual game, but that ship has sailed. On the flipside, people check out the Games section a lot more often than they check out the Comics section of this forum, so a least it gets more visibility.


3) This story is being offered completely for free, and is essentially JJsworld 's passion project, and is his first foray into this space. Also, English isn't his native language, hence the grammar issues.


All that being said, I will say that a number of the criticisms are valid ones, particularly with the grammar issues. I'm just trying to provide some context from my own perspective here for people. I did note that in Chapter 7 we saw a bit more facial expressiveness from the gals, which was one of the criticisms I had raised earlier, and that others have commented on. I'd personally like to see more close-ups in Chapter 8, so that we can better admire the gal's features.


On that note:

It might be helpful to add a note to the OP about the 'native resolution' being 1280 x 720p (the actual story pictures are only 981 pixels wide). That way people that are hung up on wanting no less than say 1080P or even 4K will know in advance what the 'target resolution' is.

If anyone has compiled a list of typos and misspellings, feel free to share in the meantime so that they can be fixed. I'll probably do a quick story runthrough myself and maybe release a 'mod patch' or something that corrects the typos and misspellings between now and when Chapter 8 is released, and of course share the corrections with JJsworld .

When I helped JJsworld set up the current package for download (in response to a few requests in this thread), with the new 'combined chapters' thing, I did spend a bit of time with the Chapter 7 coding correcting a few grammatical things, like spelling out numbers (where it looked more natural) and fixing a few typos and contraction issues.

Note that I didn't spent a lot of time here coding wise, I just set up the chapter coding framework and renumerated the pics, which took a few hours, and maybe less than an hour to add Chapter 7 to the framework, and then explained the new coding framework to JJsworld so that he could run with it going forward.

As for why I felt the need to help out, I just like the harem theme in this story, and I think the gals are cute!

JJsworld has put a lot of hours in here, when not at the 'day job', something that people may not fully appreciate sometimes.

I just think that being more supportive of new developers is helpful, particularly ones that are offering their stories for free.

This is JJsworld 's baby, but as they say 'you can't please everyone'.
 
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The Big Fat Panda

New Member
Jun 9, 2018
10
10
Hey, I have a question! The MC name reverted to default name in this new update. Can I change it back somehow? Or should I start off with a new save file?
Just wondering...
 

caxhub

Engaged Member
Aug 22, 2019
2,418
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Download android Ch.1 - Ch.7 APK
P/s: Request Link Android Game at my
 
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OhWee

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Wow, there are now THREE different Android versions of the current release. Thanks guys! Is that a record or something?

Now if only there were someone out there that had experience doing Mac versions...
:unsure:

The Big Fat Panda
Try starting the story from the beginning (i.e. ignore your saves) and choose start. In the first couple of panels you'll get the option to continue the story, afterwhich you can skip directly to where you left off (Chapter 7 if you've read the entire story up to this point), at which point you'll get a chance to name your character before skipping to Chapter 7. If you weren't done reading the old Chapter 2 yet, Try jumping to Chapters 5 or 6 to see if you can spot familiar dialogue. Rollback Side is enabled, so you can jump back to the Chapter choice menu and choose again if you need to.

Hope this helps!
 

Qmil679

Q / Motherlover
Donor
Mar 13, 2019
5,080
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I see there is incest in this game. But when the MC talks about these 3,4 women at the beginning of the game, he doesn't say about them that they are his sisters and about mother says ''their mom'' and not ''our'' mother.

Either I read all wrong or something will be explained but later in the game. :unsure:
 
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Ron4164

Member
Jul 31, 2018
203
116
Feedback time:
(Please note that I like the game so far, otherwise I wouldn't bother. Also the feedback is purely from a consumer point of view... because I lack the patience to learn DAZ or HS :ROFLMAO:)

The biggest issue I have is with the "novel" part of the VN:
Grammar and punctuation are repeatedly wrong.
Numbers should be written out (this is also repeating)
e.g. use "It seems, that three of the four, doesn't seem to mind." instead of "It seems, that 3 of the 4, doesn't seem to mind." You are writing a novel, not doing math or posting in a chatroom (also looks lazy) ;)
Choose a different font/format for internal dialogue. Just write in italic or somthing. The dialogue is hard to follow sometimes.

Now for the "visual" part:
Can't say that much here because i know this is your first VN.
Also I am pretty sure the render quality is restricted by your hardware right now.
Some renders had the wrong ratio (the sports car got compressed and looked like a NOT sports car)
Renders are fuzzy, at some of them I can't even recognize a face (again, probably hardware related).
Speaking of face, there are not much facial expressions (not very important righ now because fuzzy and all but maybe worth mentioning)

There are some scenes where the text doesn't fit the actual scene we are seeing.
e.g. this one and some of the following text/scene:
View attachment 976685

Maybe some (or all) of it has been said, but I didn't read the comments for now so the dont't influence my feedback :)
Your grammar corrections are incorrect. Sentence should have no commas and verb should be plural. Your own grammar needs work by the way.
 

cubba

Member
Jul 12, 2018
294
458
Your grammar corrections are incorrect. Sentence should have no commas and verb should be plural. Your own grammar needs work by the way.
Are you referring to this? I quoted it from the VN, hence the " ". There are no grammar corrections. The point was the use of numbers.
 

JJsworld

Active Member
Game Developer
Jun 17, 2018
874
1,748
I see there is incest in this game. But when the MC talks about these 3,4 women at the beginning of the game, he doesn't say about them that they are his sisters and about mother says ''their mom'' and not ''our'' mother.

Either I read all wrong or something will be explained but later in the game. :unsure:
Later in the game... Promise a big twist...
 

OhWee

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Jun 17, 2017
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R.E. grammar and misspellings

Just wanted to jump in here.

The spelling and grammar errors, well JJsworld is aware, English isn't his strong suit, so no sense attacking each other about something that is going to be addressed before the next update.
(y)

I'm sure that JJsworld appreciates y'all's feedback, so relax and just enjoy the sexy renders in the meantime.

One other note, not every character is going to talk/think in the Queen's English, which is also true in real life. Misspelling is one thing, but sentence structure, that may reflect 'character flaws' that relates to the quality and amount of their education as the various characters were growing up. But of course, in other cases, it may relate to the author's skill with the English language as well.

And yes, spelling out the numbers (the single digit ones at least) is on the 'to to' list...

Everyone agrees that the misspellings are a distraction, and as noted above, JJsworld and his proofreader(s) will retroactively address/fix those in the next update.

So please, just relax everyone!
;)


It's not the coolest story on the planet, but it has a sexy harem in it, and I like how the gals look, which is why I'm looking forward to the next update... bring on the group sex!
:love:
 
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terrenceabain

Newbie
Mar 29, 2019
24
14
i'm just putting this out here: i don't really care about spelling errors (viz. a new begining ) i am really interested in the creativity and cuteness of the game. keep up the good work and when you have your time off from your 9 - 5 give the community an update. thanks for the hardwork.
 
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Shagrynn

Active Member
Apr 3, 2018
705
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My advice is to cut out all the text that describes what is happening, after all that's what the pictures are for.

Also, why does an assassin ride a bright red and white motorcycle while wearing a suit?
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Shagrynn

Active Member
Apr 3, 2018
705
712
There are huge chunks of the story missing, like when 2 of the girls find out his identity, where did that go? I was looking forward to their reactions.
 
3.00 star(s) 22 Votes