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VN Ren'Py Abandoned A.O.A. Academy [Ch.5 Gold] [TLGGAMES]

4.20 star(s) 232 Votes
Discussion Reviews (232)
Abhai

Abhai

Devoted Member
Sep 12, 2018
9,468
38,468
Timo70 said:
Ok comments on this game..
The good: The graphics are amazing, good posing, great model design, and great renders also great Asset packs on the rooms and streets. Also the music is top tier.
The meh: some translation issues, mostly verb use and spelling.
Now the bad: logical fallacies, no understanding of security for the super-rich, and unbelievable characters.
Your using a farmer/rancher MC archetype, and you do not understand how a farmer/rancher who lives two hours away from a hospital thinks. They are tough minded independent types, that life is not kind to mentally weak people. Also I have never met a farmer/rancher that did not have a loaded firearm, or big knife within five feet of them at all times, why? Natural predators, defending livestock and pets is a part of life, also working on a farm means your use to having tools with you at all times. What do I mean? When I worked on my uncles horse ranch, I carried a knife, a Leatherman, a flashlight, and a fencing wire tool on my person, because I would need those items at any moment when riding fences.. that lead me to keep a Leatherman and flashlight on my and a folding knife in my front pocket for many years afterward.
Stupid ASS SHIT: if I had been informed that someone had asked specifically for a bad actor to kill me I SURE AS HELL would make sure everyone knew it.. that raises the level of threat and ensures everyone knows to be extra cautious because they were not just trying to kill/injure Val but MC as well. Oh and I likely would have told the police.
More Stupid shit: Luxury hotels have VIP suites ready at all times, and the staff would have zero issues assigning the name bob smith to the room and handing out keys if they needed to shield the person in question from scrutiny. happens every day in America when a celebrity checks into a hotel and does not want their location known.
Jenny character consistency issue: If Jenny was the adopted daughter of a 100+ millionaire or billionaire, she would not wonder how to get security quickly. She would likely have an assigned armed protective detail with a driver and someone on that team would have a number on their phone that would put 3-5 heavily armed protection specialists at her location in under 30 minutes because they are at constant abduction risk.
Mr White character consistency issue: If Adam had attempted to use one goon to influence Mr. White, Mr White likely would get up and walk out with some very harsh words about playing with fire. Adam is a punk playing a man's game, one goon is not enough to make a billionaire pay attention, piss him off sure..
Vicky character consistency issue: I have studied martial arts for a long time, and it takes mental toughness, and instills a bias to action, because of an understanding of your abilities. If she was a black belt she would have broken Marcus into pieces.

So maybe I am just a Gen X FAFO dude, but this is just weak unresearched writing (get more informed proof/beta readers dude)
Click to expand...
didnt bother to read it all, yet i can tell already - either you are as blind as a bat, or as bright as a night...no middle ground unfortunately.
enjoy your stay regardless.
 
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Niuul

Niuul

Active Member
Jun 25, 2022
737
1,728
Timo70 said:
Ok comments on this game..
The good: The graphics are amazing, good posing, great model design, and great renders also great Asset packs on the rooms and streets. Also the music is top tier.
The meh: some translation issues, mostly verb use and spelling.
Now the bad: logical fallacies, no understanding of security for the super-rich, and unbelievable characters.
Your using a farmer/rancher MC archetype, and you do not understand how a farmer/rancher who lives two hours away from a hospital thinks. They are tough minded independent types, that life is not kind to mentally weak people. Also I have never met a farmer/rancher that did not have a loaded firearm, or big knife within five feet of them at all times, why? Natural predators, defending livestock and pets is a part of life, also working on a farm means your use to having tools with you at all times. What do I mean? When I worked on my uncles horse ranch, I carried a knife, a Leatherman, a flashlight, and a fencing wire tool on my person, because I would need those items at any moment when riding fences.. that lead me to keep a Leatherman and flashlight on my and a folding knife in my front pocket for many years afterward.
Stupid ASS SHIT: if I had been informed that someone had asked specifically for a bad actor to kill me I SURE AS HELL would make sure everyone knew it.. that raises the level of threat and ensures everyone knows to be extra cautious because they were not just trying to kill/injure Val but MC as well. Oh and I likely would have told the police.
More Stupid shit: Luxury hotels have VIP suites ready at all times, and the staff would have zero issues assigning the name bob smith to the room and handing out keys if they needed to shield the person in question from scrutiny. happens every day in America when a celebrity checks into a hotel and does not want their location known.
Jenny character consistency issue: If Jenny was the adopted daughter of a 100+ millionaire or billionaire, she would not wonder how to get security quickly. She would likely have an assigned armed protective detail with a driver and someone on that team would have a number on their phone that would put 3-5 heavily armed protection specialists at her location in under 30 minutes because they are at constant abduction risk.
Mr White character consistency issue: If Adam had attempted to use one goon to influence Mr. White, Mr White likely would get up and walk out with some very harsh words about playing with fire. Adam is a punk playing a man's game, one goon is not enough to make a billionaire pay attention, piss him off sure..
Vicky character consistency issue: I have studied martial arts for a long time, and it takes mental toughness, and instills a bias to action, because of an understanding of your abilities. If she was a black belt she would have broken Marcus into pieces.

So maybe I am just a Gen X FAFO dude, but this is just weak unresearched writing (get more informed proof/beta readers dude)
Click to expand...
kEzRTxz.jpeg
 
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AMRFTY

AMRFTY

Member
Jun 28, 2023
185
342
Timo70 said:
Ok comments on this game..
The good: The graphics are amazing, good posing, great model design, and great renders also great Asset packs on the rooms and streets. Also the music is top tier.
The meh: some translation issues, mostly verb use and spelling.
Now the bad: logical fallacies, no understanding of security for the super-rich, and unbelievable characters.
Your using a farmer/rancher MC archetype, and you do not understand how a farmer/rancher who lives two hours away from a hospital thinks. They are tough minded independent types, that life is not kind to mentally weak people. Also I have never met a farmer/rancher that did not have a loaded firearm, or big knife within five feet of them at all times, why? Natural predators, defending livestock and pets is a part of life, also working on a farm means your use to having tools with you at all times. What do I mean? When I worked on my uncles horse ranch, I carried a knife, a Leatherman, a flashlight, and a fencing wire tool on my person, because I would need those items at any moment when riding fences.. that lead me to keep a Leatherman and flashlight on my and a folding knife in my front pocket for many years afterward.
Stupid ASS SHIT: if I had been informed that someone had asked specifically for a bad actor to kill me I SURE AS HELL would make sure everyone knew it.. that raises the level of threat and ensures everyone knows to be extra cautious because they were not just trying to kill/injure Val but MC as well. Oh and I likely would have told the police.
More Stupid shit: Luxury hotels have VIP suites ready at all times, and the staff would have zero issues assigning the name bob smith to the room and handing out keys if they needed to shield the person in question from scrutiny. happens every day in America when a celebrity checks into a hotel and does not want their location known.
Jenny character consistency issue: If Jenny was the adopted daughter of a 100+ millionaire or billionaire, she would not wonder how to get security quickly. She would likely have an assigned armed protective detail with a driver and someone on that team would have a number on their phone that would put 3-5 heavily armed protection specialists at her location in under 30 minutes because they are at constant abduction risk.
Mr White character consistency issue: If Adam had attempted to use one goon to influence Mr. White, Mr White likely would get up and walk out with some very harsh words about playing with fire. Adam is a punk playing a man's game, one goon is not enough to make a billionaire pay attention, piss him off sure..
Vicky character consistency issue: I have studied martial arts for a long time, and it takes mental toughness, and instills a bias to action, because of an understanding of your abilities. If she was a black belt she would have broken Marcus into pieces.

So maybe I am just a Gen X FAFO dude, but this is just weak unresearched writing (get more informed proof/beta readers dude)
Click to expand...

Hold on, before people start berating Timo for breaking down story choices due to personal ideas and preferences - I am actually glad you gave your honest opinion about it. The research a writer does reflects in it's work - for example, we all know Germany isn't in Africa. It would feel stupid to claim your game is grounded in real world rules, yet set in the African country of Deutschland. The same logic applies here - Timo is simply stating that according to his experiences, the writing doesn't seem bound to realism and that makes the story (for him) less believable.

I agree with the part that well-researched stories land better and make more sense because their elements have a more solid foundation. I never found the things Timo said to be in the way of my story enjoyment, but I did very much have to suspend disbelief - and not just because it's a fictional story. It's unrealistic at times. And that's okay, just as long as we make sure people know it is.

This is the story the developer wanted to make. It might not have as much foundation in realism as we would like it to have, but that is an artistic choice up to the developer, right?
 
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yossa999

yossa999

Engaged Member
Dec 5, 2020
2,369
16,050
AMRFTY said:
Hold on, before people start berating Timo for breaking down story choices due to personal ideas and preferences - I am actually glad you gave your honest opinion about it. The research a writer does reflects in it's work - for example, we all know Germany isn't in Africa. It would feel stupid to claim your game is grounded in real world rules, yet set in the African country of Deutschland. The same logic applies here - Timo is simply stating that according to his experiences, the writing doesn't seem bound to realism and that makes the story (for him) less believable.

I agree with the part that well-researched stories land better and make more sense because their elements have a more solid foundation. I never found the things Timo said to be in the way of my story enjoyment, but I did very much have to suspend disbelief - and not just because it's a fictional story. It's unrealistic at times. And that's okay, just as long as we make sure people know it is.

This is the story the developer wanted to make. It might not have as much foundation in realism as we would like it to have, but that is an artistic choice up to the developer, right?
Click to expand...
Unfortunately this is the story its developer doesn't want to make anymore. Moreover, they seem to no longer want anything to do with this AVN and its fanbase. So your and Timo’s reviews sound like shouting into a dry, empty well. :HideThePain:

Therefore, people... hmm... were a little skeptical about the criticism and suggestions addressed to the developer. Yeah, it must be this and the exceptional friendliness of the Zone vets. :HideThePain:
 
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The Krogan Dude

The Krogan Dude

Active Member
Sep 26, 2023
732
4,318
Timo70 said:
Ok comments on this game..
The good: The graphics are amazing, good posing, great model design, and great renders also great Asset packs on the rooms and streets. Also the music is top tier.
The meh: some translation issues, mostly verb use and spelling.
Now the bad: logical fallacies, no understanding of security for the super-rich, and unbelievable characters.
Your using a farmer/rancher MC archetype, and you do not understand how a farmer/rancher who lives two hours away from a hospital thinks. They are tough minded independent types, that life is not kind to mentally weak people. Also I have never met a farmer/rancher that did not have a loaded firearm, or big knife within five feet of them at all times, why? Natural predators, defending livestock and pets is a part of life, also working on a farm means your use to having tools with you at all times. What do I mean? When I worked on my uncles horse ranch, I carried a knife, a Leatherman, a flashlight, and a fencing wire tool on my person, because I would need those items at any moment when riding fences.. that lead me to keep a Leatherman and flashlight on my and a folding knife in my front pocket for many years afterward.
Stupid ASS SHIT: if I had been informed that someone had asked specifically for a bad actor to kill me I SURE AS HELL would make sure everyone knew it.. that raises the level of threat and ensures everyone knows to be extra cautious because they were not just trying to kill/injure Val but MC as well. Oh and I likely would have told the police.
More Stupid shit: Luxury hotels have VIP suites ready at all times, and the staff would have zero issues assigning the name bob smith to the room and handing out keys if they needed to shield the person in question from scrutiny. happens every day in America when a celebrity checks into a hotel and does not want their location known.
Jenny character consistency issue: If Jenny was the adopted daughter of a 100+ millionaire or billionaire, she would not wonder how to get security quickly. She would likely have an assigned armed protective detail with a driver and someone on that team would have a number on their phone that would put 3-5 heavily armed protection specialists at her location in under 30 minutes because they are at constant abduction risk.
Mr White character consistency issue: If Adam had attempted to use one goon to influence Mr. White, Mr White likely would get up and walk out with some very harsh words about playing with fire. Adam is a punk playing a man's game, one goon is not enough to make a billionaire pay attention, piss him off sure..
Vicky character consistency issue: I have studied martial arts for a long time, and it takes mental toughness, and instills a bias to action, because of an understanding of your abilities. If she was a black belt she would have broken Marcus into pieces.

So maybe I am just a Gen X FAFO dude, but this is just weak unresearched writing (get more informed proof/beta readers dude)
Click to expand...
I lost it when the mafia gang can't even find a well known academy on their own.

laughing.gif
 
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AMRFTY

AMRFTY

Member
Jun 28, 2023
185
342
yossa999 said:
Unfortunately this is the story its developer doesn't want to make anymore. Moreover, they seem to no longer want anything to do with this AVN and its fanbase. So your and Timo’s reviews sound like shouting into a dry, empty well. :HideThePain:

Therefore, people... hmm... were a little skeptical about the criticism and suggestions addressed to the developer. Yeah, it must be this and the exceptional friendliness of the Zone vets. :HideThePain:
Click to expand...
There's definitely a truth to your message, as it seems the developer only came back to let people know the Steam version of his game was not endorsed by him. The criticism might be of value to a developer of a different game who's browsing the forums and looking for feedback to improve their own game, if anything else. I have to agree with you, I highly doubt the developers will ever hear or use this feedback.
 
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rudsonxxt

New Member
Mar 7, 2022
3
1
Does anyone know the name of the song that plays in chap.3 Jhenny's scene? It's one of the best AVN's songs I've ever heard!
 
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4.20 star(s) 232 Votes