HTML Abandoned After Colony 250 [v0.15] [After Colony Games]

[LtCmdrData]

I'm excited for the next update. I check on this page and your Patreon almost every other day hoping to see something new! Definitely my personal favorite game on this site right now.

Also, I was re-reading some of your old posts and am super glad I found someone else who remembers the old Goosebumps CYOA books! I also got creeped out by that super old TV show.

 

[After Colony]

I'm excited for the next update. I check on this page and your Patreon almost every other day hoping to see something new! Definitely my personal favorite game on this site right now.

Also, I was re-reading some of your old posts and am super glad I found someone else who remembers the old Goosebumps CYOA books! I also got creeped out by that super old TV show.

That's super nice to hear

I'm working on the update when I can, but whenever I think I have time, something comes up. I pretty much wrote the game in the January-April lockdown, so I keep underestimating how much work I have to do and I'm trying to find ways to create more time, but I am genuinely busy. I do find myself thinking ahead to the next chapters too much as well, as a lot of the cooler ideas are there, when I should focus on my current objectives.

 

[LtCmdrData]

As a writer and English major I think I understand the temptation to fantasize about the future of your work and fall victim to scope creep and let it distract you from finishing a project. I honestly think it happens to just about every other game in development not just on this site, but in the industry as a whole.

Again, one thing I find helpful is to set deadlines for myself, or have someone else cheer me on or beat me with a stick over my lack of progress. I don't know your situation however, but I'm sure you're aware of whatever works best for you.

It also might be refreshing to have a Discord server (wink wink ) where you can better communicate with your supporters and stay motivated to continue the project. I really don't want to see this game die!

 

[After Colony]

As a writer and English major I think I understand the temptation to fantasize about the future of your work and fall victim to scope creep and let it distract you from finishing a project. I honestly think it happens to just about every other game in development not just on this site, but in the industry as a whole.

Again, one thing I find helpful is to set deadlines for myself, or have someone else cheer me on or beat me with a stick over my lack of progress. I don't know your situation however, but I'm sure you're aware of whatever works best for you.

It also might be refreshing to have a Discord server (wink wink ) where you can better communicate with your supporters and stay motivated to continue the project. I really don't want to see this game die!

I'd say the problem for me is the complete underestimation of how much free time I have, hence why I aimed for the end of this month (tomorrow!) for the update. The truth is that I hit the gym in the morning for two hours, work for three or four in the afternoon, cook dinner, socialise, then I work another two or three in the evening. It is really hard to get into that focused mode that I could go into during the lockdown when I couldn't go to the gym, had all my food delivered, didn't socialise and had a ton more of free time. I've began lessening my hours over January, so I'll -hopefully- have time to do what I want to do.

The Discord is more or less set up, I just need to make some finishing touches because I have only ever set up a discord for like 3 people before.

 

[LtCmdrData]

I'd say the problem for me is the complete underestimation of how much free time I have, hence why I aimed for the end of this month (tomorrow!) for the update. The truth is that I hit the gym in the morning for two hours, work for three or four in the afternoon, cook dinner, socialise, then I work another two or three in the evening. It is really hard to get into that focused mode that I could go into during the lockdown when I couldn't go to the gym, had all my food delivered, didn't socialise and had a ton more of free time. I've began lessening my hours over January, so I'll -hopefully- have time to do what I want to do.

The Discord is more or less set up, I just need to make some finishing touches because I have only ever set up a discord for like 3 people before.

Awesome! If you need any help feel free to ask. I've helped set up a few larger Discords before so I know my away around that platform.

Also again, I totally understand how it is hard to find the time to work on a project with a job. However, I don't mean to sound rude or ungrateful, but I must point out that since you are accepting and making money from this project, it is no longer merely a hobby, but a product you are promising to deliver to your backers. So while I may understand why you're unable to work on it, doesn't mean others will be as understanding if they're giving you their money. This is partly why I don't accept donations or money for my projects, as I don't want to feel guilty and obligated to deliver value for people when I want to keep my passion as a hobby, and not a business.

So again, you will have to find the time (not hopefully find the time) to deliver an update within the near future if you want to honor the commitment you've made by accepting funds.

 

[After Colony]

Awesome! If you need any help feel free to ask. I've helped set up a few larger Discords before so I know my away around that platform.

Also again, I totally understand how it is hard to find the time to work on a project with a job. However, I don't mean to sound rude or ungrateful, but I must point out that since you are accepting and making money from this project, it is no longer merely a hobby, but a product you are promising to deliver to your backers. So while I may understand why you're unable to work on it, doesn't mean others will be as understanding if they're giving you their money. This is partly why I don't accept donations or money for my projects, as I don't want to feel guilty and obligated to deliver value for people when I want to keep my passion as a hobby, and not a business.

So again, you will have to find the time (not hopefully find the time) to deliver an update within the near future if you want to honor the commitment you've made by accepting funds.

That's true, maybe I should be more clear with the goals. Any money will likely go into future projects, but if I ever reached something like 300-600 dollars a month, I could probably dedicate a whole week to working on it at this current point in time. However, having people placing faith in me by dropping money certainly means the updates will come quicker because I feel more obliged.

 

[LtCmdrData]

Fair enough. Just make that Discord public for New Year's instead!

 

[After Colony]

I probably still need to make some changes, but it is up.

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[vcxvcxvcxvxcv]

when is the next release

 

[After Colony]

when is the next release

I am aiming for three month cycles for each new update, which will add new content to previous chapters as well as content equivalent to or greater than the prologue, so hopefully the end of this month.

 

[ciri_in_trouble]

Solid prologue. The world is nice without being too expository and leveraged in a way to create more sexy scenes (ex. with the teacher).

The use of celebrities (from Battlestar Galatica, Britney Spears, Sheldon Cooper, etc.) is a bit on the nose and removes from some of the immersion. I could get needing lots of facial shots for key characters, but for throwaway characters like an air stewardess it's a bit detrimental to the whole experience. There's lots of

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that google can provide.

I'm curious what smut the military path is going to get. Looks like politics gets extra sex scenes, science will get ALICE... does military just offer the best way to "complete" the plot and avenge your father? Maybe it'll just have the most intense game over scenes, haha

 

[After Colony]

Solid prologue. The world is nice without being too expository and leveraged in a way to create more sexy scenes (ex. with the teacher).

The use of celebrities (from Battlestar Galatica, Britney Spears, Sheldon Cooper, etc.) is a bit on the nose and removes from some of the immersion. I could get needing lots of facial shots for key characters, but for throwaway characters like an air stewardess it's a bit detrimental to the whole experience. There's lots of

You must be registered to see the links

that google can provide.

I'm curious what smut the military path is going to get. Looks like politics gets extra sex scenes, science will get ALICE... does military just offer the best way to "complete" the plot and avenge your father? Maybe it'll just have the most intense game over scenes, haha

Believe it or not, I was having this discussion yesterday about how I thought the use of celebrities etc was a little bit over the top. It was more something that used to happen in the old RAGS games that the game is inspired by, so I just continued with that tradition, but I do agree with you to a certain extent. The same when it comes to names, which were originally placeholders and then I just got too far in to change it. I'll probably stick with it, but I do agree.

The military path is going to have more situations which you can get yourself in trouble, which will lead to more rapey/murdery/violent bad ends. In the mansion, for example, if you lose the battle in the woods, you'll end up on a transport to an off world colony where you're raped and sold into sexual slavery. I'll be looking at everything and thinking - what can I do next? I'll add two new encounters in the diplomat path to part 1, if I have the time, but the military one is a bit more difficult when you're not doing anything military style. I have a few ideas though.

Thanks for the feedback

 

[Master of Puppets]

The military path is going to have more situations which you can get yourself in trouble, which will lead to more rapey/murdery/violent bad ends. In the mansion, for example, if you lose the battle in the woods, you'll end up on a transport to an off world colony where you're raped and sold into sexual slavery. I'll be looking at everything and thinking - what can I do next? I'll add two new encounters in the diplomat path to part 1, if I have the time, but the military one is a bit more difficult when you're not doing anything military style. I have a few ideas though.

Maybe the military one's kink could be her being stronger and more muscular if you can find a model for that?

 

[thepwnerer]

Very impressed with the prologue overall. Some thoughts:

• The writing is solid, and the characters are well rendered. It could be a bit sharper - there are some spelling and grammar issues, including a lot of very long sentences (4-5 clauses) that could do with being split up. For example:
  
  Spoiler

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  There are also some paragraphs that could do with breaking up a bit to make them more readable, particularly in the setup and lore, which some people might be inclined to skip through anyway. Nothing hugely distracting, but room for improvement. I copyedit for a living, so if you wanted someone to give it a pass, it's on the house.
• The universe has been fleshed out well so far. An amalgam of other properties, maybe, but distinct enough to be interesting.
• A porn game with puzzles! Always a plus. Simple but well implemented.
• I respect the ambition with the multiple characters. All three paths have a lot of potential, but Science definitely has the edge at this point. Very much looking forward to how that internal struggle plays out...
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• I'm interested to see how much of the optional stuff (e.g. reading certain computer files) or dialogue choices (e.g. the three choices with Jeffrey that don't seem to make any difference) opens doors later on, or influences the character in any way. I notice you said some choices wouldn't pay off until later, so I'm certainly optimistic.
• Speaking of choices, though, I wonder to what extent you'll be able to track these. Ideally, choices should result in lasting consequences for the character, beyond the contents of a single scene. I don't know if you had anything in mind for this - for instance, if the status screen would become increasingly complex in the picture it paints of your character, and its illustration of how your choices have changed them, or whether you'd think about including hard stats. This seems particularly relevant for the mind control path, but all three seem to have a lot of potential in how far you're willing to push the character's boundaries, and jeopardize their standing.
• I really like how you reward (and punish!) exploration, and how it leads to alternate solutions. More of that please.
• Could maybe do with an inventory to keep track of items, even if that's just a line of text on the status screen.
• There should ideally be a link after each ending to take you back to the start, or go back a couple of steps.
• I didn't realize there would be audio - that could catch a few people out! You might want to add a toggle for that.
• I personally don't mind the TV show characters. I think you've used the images well so far; they're pretty visually consistent, and none of them drew me out of the world, which I find is a common issue with Twine games. It seems unlikely that there are enough stock models out there to populate a sci-fi universe without them looking even more out of place.

In short, keep up the good work. I'm short of funds at the moment, but hope to contribute something in the future.

 

[After Colony]

Very impressed with the prologue overall. Some thoughts:

• The writing is solid, and the characters are well rendered. It could be a bit sharper - there are some spelling and grammar issues, including a lot of very long sentences (4-5 clauses) that could do with being split up. For example:
  
  Spoiler

  You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.
  There are also some paragraphs that could do with breaking up a bit to make them more readable, particularly in the setup and lore, which some people might be inclined to skip through anyway. Nothing hugely distracting, but room for improvement. I copyedit for a living, so if you wanted someone to give it a pass, it's on the house.
• The universe has been fleshed out well so far. An amalgam of other properties, maybe, but distinct enough to be interesting.
• A porn game with puzzles! Always a plus. Simple but well implemented.
• I respect the ambition with the multiple characters. All three paths have a lot of potential, but Science definitely has the edge at this point. Very much looking forward to how that internal struggle plays out...
  Spoiler

  You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.
• I'm interested to see how much of the optional stuff (e.g. reading certain computer files) or dialogue choices (e.g. the three choices with Jeffrey that don't seem to make any difference) opens doors later on, or influences the character in any way. I notice you said some choices wouldn't pay off until later, so I'm certainly optimistic.
• Speaking of choices, though, I wonder to what extent you'll be able to track these. Ideally, choices should result in lasting consequences for the character, beyond the contents of a single scene. I don't know if you had anything in mind for this - for instance, if the status screen would become increasingly complex in the picture it paints of your character, and its illustration of how your choices have changed them, or whether you'd think about including hard stats. This seems particularly relevant for the mind control path, but all three seem to have a lot of potential in how far you're willing to push the character's boundaries, and jeopardize their standing.
• I really like how you reward (and punish!) exploration, and how it leads to alternate solutions. More of that please.
• Could maybe do with an inventory to keep track of items, even if that's just a line of text on the status screen.
• There should ideally be a link after each ending to take you back to the start, or go back a couple of steps.
• I didn't realize there would be audio - that could catch a few people out! You might want to add a toggle for that.
• I personally don't mind the TV show characters. I think you've used the images well so far; they're pretty visually consistent, and none of them drew me out of the world, which I find is a common issue with Twine games. It seems unlikely that there are enough stock models out there to populate a sci-fi universe without them looking even more out of place.

In short, keep up the good work. I'm short of funds at the moment, but hope to contribute something in the future.

Thanks for the feedback, it is always nice to hear. We've already had a talk about some of the things like the clauses grammar stuff, I agree, but it is just kind of my writing style and has been for a while, it'd be hard to just change it up - chalk it up to shitty schooling I guess. As for the other stuff, I've removed most of the audio from videos now and gonna add a link to the main menu to the bad ends.

Jeffrey will turn up again later down the path, if you saved him, which of course you don't have to (you can't even save him on one path!) - however I haven't decided in what capacity he'll turn up, just some random ideas. But some of it, like the computer files, are just kind of foreshadowing for later.

Inventory is WIP, it is essentially there already under the hood, but it isn't entirely necessary in the UI yet because you're not carrying much.

And never feel obliged to give any money, I do it for fun and practice, so any money I acquire will go back into future projects

 

[Lizard2214]

Added to favorite, and see how it goes.

 

[After Colony]

Added to favorite, and see how it goes.

Work continues, but as I've mentioned in the discord and elsewhere, progress is slow because I have had way less time than expected, despite having more time (it's complicated).

 

[Whore2U]

how can i start chapter 1 there is no any kind of button

 

[DreamyMilk]

how can i start chapter 1 there is no any kind of button

it is not out yet i believe.

 

[konabwo]

text locations , inventory... lez sandboxise that cyoa thingy hard! cut it to one narrative with dozens of quests.

or not heh, but w/t feels like a must have.

it might be only my problem as im not into any readings and this is vn/cyoa but i failed to random-click through content (which is what i usually do with vn-books) . i think i got stuck somewhere without any progression (maybe because of quest-task with dads(?) cabinet search , not sure )