VN Ren'Py Completed Alison Fall of the Apple [v1.0] [OneManVN]

[Brother Lui]

Confession to make ...
I am just sitting in front of keyboard and I wondering, maybe I have reach the age of awareness maybe not. Wondering if people have raise their standards too high, or they act like newly rich, appreciate the fake Van Gogh for which they paid 100k bucks and trying to depress and criticize anything free. Wondering how many enjoy an expensive meal during each day spending 100 bucks and yelling to a poor person who is begging after the return of a military service... Wondering how they can do this... and sure life can bring the up side down. Perhaps the game may have some issues for some but really how many issues anyone face every day in his life from advertisements, from banks, from the law, from the tv, from anything and he doesn't say a word, he accepts what everyone says, but when it is to judge a free game then suddenly acts weird with all his standards so high like he owns a fucking planet ... Seriously it is so bad the game ?... may be I am in an Illusion because I find it GREAT .. even if the butt changes who cares ?? after all this is a very good story!! OneManVn is doing a great job and deserves the best. Yes he wanted to tell his story and he is telling it very very good so at least respect the effort and the person and if you don't like something say it politely and if you don't like the story then move go find another don't make bad comments just to make them. I personally thank you OneManVn for the story it is great.

 

[Ignatz]

If I may...

I think Vengeful made a reasonable critique of the game based upon his personal tastes. It might have been more effective without a couple of harsh sentences, none of which added to his critique and just seemed gratuitous.

That is probably what led to OMV taking his criticism as a slam, rather than a critique. It points out the delicate nature of communicating over the internet.

Do I think OMV can improve his writing? You bet. And I expect him to, as he goes forward. If he should ever gain enough momentum (monetarily), he can consider if he wishes to continue working on his writing skills or stick to plotting and art (both of which I think he does very well with) and hire a writer. Either path means his work(s) will improve over time.

I don't think Vengeful was way off base with what he wrote, just a couple of less polite sentences could have been jettisoned and it would have been more effective. Similarly, OMV will hopefully look past that tonal misstep and consider some of the content in the post neutrally.

This is a fun game. It's got a few glitches, but the energy and love the dev clearly puts into it lets me sit back and show patience as he learns and grows.

 

[OneManVN]

To your comment about writing skills...that's not how it works. That's like saying you need to be a good cook to realize a dish is shit, or be a director to know if a movie is garbage. You don't.

I'd suggest you pay attention to the negative feedback and if you see a common theme from different sources (e.g writing issues), then it's most likely something that needs fixing. Or you could ignore everything and everyone and do your own thing, it's your game after all.

I am paying attention to negative feedback, I simply can't stir the boat in every single direction it takes me. There would be no game so to speak off if I did. I simply meant that I am doing the best that I can with my limited skills. If he or someone else can do better they can either help or go to another restaurant.

 

[OneManVN]

Confession to make ...
I am just sitting in front of keyboard and I wondering, maybe I have reach the age of awareness maybe not. Wondering if people have raise their standards too high, or they act like newly rich, appreciate the fake Van Gogh for which they paid 100k bucks and trying to depress and criticize anything free. Wondering how many enjoy an expensive meal during each day spending 100 bucks and yelling to a poor person who is begging after the return of a military service... Wondering how they can do this... and sure life can bring the up side down. Perhaps the game may have some issues for some but really how many issues anyone face every day in his life from advertisements, from banks, from the law, from the tv, from anything and he doesn't say a word, he accepts what everyone says, but when it is to judge a free game then suddenly acts weird with all his standards so high like he owns a fucking planet ... Seriously it is so bad the game ?... may be I am in an Illusion because I find it GREAT .. even if the butt changes who cares ?? after all this is a very good story!! OneManVn is doing a great job and deserves the best. Yes he wanted to tell his story and he is telling it very very good so at least respect the effort and the person and if you don't like something say it politely and if you don't like the story then move go find another don't make bad comments just to make them. I personally thank you OneManVn for the story it is great.

Now that right there is what I've been trying to get across for over 6 months. Move on if you don't like it. I am my own worse critic I am aware of all the "Mistakes" And for those who actually played it and didn't face roll with CTRL held down they may have noticed how the game has changed gradually, and those so called mistakes have become less and less apparent. I've just never had the time to go back to the prologue and fix things. So don't sweat it, buddy, I give Zero, 0, fawks when it comes to negative comments. I only ask those who like it to consider supporting it. Those who don't can find something they like instead. My patrons have made no complaints that I have not addressed yet so moving along. Have a great weekend Lui.

 

[OneManVN]

If I may...

I think Vengeful made a reasonable critique of the game based upon his personal tastes. It might have been more effective without a couple of harsh sentences, none of which added to his critique and just seemed gratuitous.

That is probably what led to OMV taking his criticism as a slam, rather than a critique. It points out the delicate nature of communicating over the internet.

Do I think OMV can improve his writing? You bet. And I expect him to, as he goes forward. If he should ever gain enough momentum (monetarily), he can consider if he wishes to continue working on his writing skills or stick to plotting and art (both of which I think he does very well with) and hire a writer. Either path means his work(s) will improve over time.

I don't think Vengeful was way off base with what he wrote, just a couple of less polite sentences could have been jettisoned and it would have been more effective. Similarly, OMV will hopefully look past that tonal misstep and consider some of the content in the post neutrally.

This is a fun game. It's got a few glitches, but the energy and love the dev clearly puts into it lets me sit back and show patience as he learns and grows.

I really wish people would understand that I am not hostile... I'm really not trying to offend anyone. I actually meant what I said. If you can do better help me, or don't play it. I don't know how else I can put it. I'm doing all I can right now. If I had the time and the $ I would no doubt hire someone to help me fix a ton of "mistakes" I am fully aware of myself.

 

[Ignatz]

Then you really DO need writing help...on your posts!

(had to. just had to.)

 

[OneManVN]

1: dev is a booty man and he cannot control himself..very understandable..Alison has hypergluteitis..HAHAAA!!!
2: this is his first go at a game...everything is NEW to him...and for a first time..he's already well advanced over MANY who have done multiple games.
3: ya..she is possessed by a living nano form inside her that takes over..she has "powers" and can do amazing things..super reflexes strength agility as is noticeable from many scenes in the game..(mainly in the love path)
4: if there is a mess..and i hate to critique something i enjoy..but i cannot let bias cloud my judgement...its that the 3 routes are completely unconnected in narrative it seems..yes the same dames appear..but the story's are unique(ish) so i ask..is there actually 3 separate games or will they one day converge? because it is confusing to say the least
5: he's one of the top 5 (imho) dev's when it comes to interaction with the forum here..so i myself give him thumbs up for that.

They are intended to be completely different as stated way early Consider them different personalities of "Mike" What if, possible scenarios, etc. So yes they are pretty much 3 different games. However, the one and only true story as we have discussed in the past is Love. The others are there to entertain "you" So you don't end up saying man this game suck I can't hump that girl blah blah

 

[OneManVN]

Then you really DO need writing help...on your posts!

(had to. just had to.)

Haha, I guess I do need to hire a PR guy.

 

[Ignatz]

You and about 100 other devs. You guys are your own worst marketers. Too damn busy creating, as far as I can tell.

Good for us, not so much for all of you...

 

[OneManVN]

I already told you what I think is a downside of the game, you blow every scene out of proportions. You narrate it then have the characters talk about it and then proceed to explain it in their thoughts. Tone it down writing problem fixed. I would love to work with you but I am unable to accept that as I am in the process of making my own visual novel.

P.S. It is not an attack it's a critique do not take it personally it is not personal. I have nothing against you or your game, I simply pointed out the flaws I think it has.

Well, put "I think it has," You think it does. And that was why I told you to fix them and see if people would still complain over it or not. Bottom line is, there would always be something. And in your opinion those were mistakes. Yet you as far as I can tell are the only person who thinks so. Not offended, upset, or feeling attacked in any way FYI. I'm just trying to tell you, release your own VN and you'll see how easily people will find something to complain about. No matter what you do, they will. As for me, I am aware of a lot of mistakes and things that need improving. Just no time in between updates to do so as a single person. Anyhow good luck with your project and I hope it's great!

 

[OneManVN]

You and about 100 other devs. You guys are your own worst marketers. Too damn busy creating, as far as I can tell.

Good for us, not so much for all of you...

Haha... Once again you are correct.

 

[Rebeldad]

Not sure if the dev watches this page but found an odd picture.. when melissa is escaping this pic looks horrible.. what happened to her left hip/buttocks? she been in there a month with no food? assume some odd render issue but here is a pic of it.

You must be registered to see the links

 

[OneManVN]

Not sure if the dev watches this page but found an odd picture.. when melissa is escaping this pic looks horrible.. what happened to her left hip/buttocks? she been in there a month with no food? assume some odd render issue but here is a pic of it.

You must be registered to see the links

Yeah, that was clearly some of that Ai Denoiser thing at work. And god knows what else.

 

[Super Galactus]

Not sure if the dev watches this page but found an odd picture.. when melissa is escaping this pic looks horrible.. what happened to her left hip/buttocks? she been in there a month with no food? assume some odd render issue but here is a pic of it.

You must be registered to see the links

hmm,which route is this?,i only play harem route

 

[OneManVN]

hmm,which route is this?,i only play harem route

That's the love route.

 

[Super Galactus]

That's the love route.

oh,ok then

 

[TheVengefulOne]

Well, put "I think it has," You think it does.

Gonna clear some things up and not gonna argue this any further. Those are real issues not just my opinion, I know this because I've been studying writing for the past month, watching videos from professional writers such as Stephen King and reading articles on professional writing. So professionally those are issues if improved could make the game better. Whether you choose to improve it or not is up to you. And whether people take issue with it is up to them.


And thanks.

 

[Rebeldad]

That's the love route.

dont know any route.. just playing the first time thru as I think I would choose then replay later for more content

 

[Ignatz]

There is an early choice in the game, after Alison is in the apartment, where you are given choices that clearly show you will be moving down one of the three routes. You should always make a save there so you can use it as the springboard for your future game play.

 

[addicted2k]

So I just started the latest chapter and for some reason, the MC's name is just...gone.
I've loaded my last save from the previous chapter...it plays fine...but I'm now nameless!!

View attachment 300838

Is there a way to fix that with the unren console?

Thanks in advance for your help!