You are absolutely right that definitions are forever changing. Our language is evolving (or devolving) constantly. Reading your explanation or what you consider swinging brings up another area where language can differ from practice, which is cultural practice. In North America, swingers often participate as a couple or solo, at the same time and place, or at a different time and place. To throw another umbrella term into the muddled mess, that is all part of the "lifestyle." There is more language we need to add here to understand those important distinctions.
"Shared room" and "separate room", have obvious meanings. But they have practices that can be counterintuitive to someone unfamiliar with lifestyle terminology. Shared room is more obvious and simply means the same time and same place. Separate room can mean not being at the same time and not in the same place. People practicing any type of swinging have many names for the acts they participate in. Someone might call separate room swapping hotwifing, cuckolding, or stag/vixen. But others have no problem considering part of swinging. Often, what distinguishes those specific types of swinging is psychological and behavior. how the wife and husband are treated. The acts are typically the same, and shared room and separate room also apply here.
It is all confusing because despite what a thing is defined as, people participate according to personal values and desires. Definitions still stand and are appropriate. Practical use may vary. What you may call it in your home can be entirely up to you. We live in a time where nothing can be discussed in a simple manner. Everyone has their own definitions and their own practices. What they want to call themselves, regardless of what society calls them, is up to the individual (e.g. Swinger, Cuckold, Hotwife). That is wonderful but a problem when communicating with others. If everyone uses their own definitions or when discussing similar phenomena with different cultural practices, things get messy.
The devs do throw a lot at the player. On one end of the spectrum, there is the open relationship. On the other end, there is the cuckold. That is another area where participants on this thread share complaints. Up to the latest update, all of the action that takes place falls under swinging. We can call the low confident path cuckolding even though the MC participates in the threesome with his wife, simply because of the behavior that takes place during the act. The wife and partner use humiliation, comparison, and other tactics that are considered to be under the umbrella of cuckolding. It is all about perception.
The devs could clear it all up and specifically state exactly what is happening. Even then, there will be people who claim it isn't what they say it is all due to the use of personal definitions and practice. Or what one community calls it versus another. Pretty complicated stuff.
TL;DR —Whether people consider it swinging or not is typically due to differences in individual and cultural practices. Swinging is not necessarily a mutual swapping of partners. While that is commonly the layperson's understanding and representation of the lifestyle, it is incorrect. There are much more complicated psychological and behavioral processes happening. Open relationship is the most appropriate description for
some of the action in the VN. Open relationships fall under the umbrella of swinging. Swinging is part of this VN, although particular paths have morphed into a specific cuckolding path. The devs' description that this VN involves swinging is accurate (while not complete nor is it required to be).
