Okay, I absolutely loved the humor in this one! I was laughing my ass off through most of the first 2 chapters. The motel scene when Byron is mocking Avalon... Absolutely genius! LOL. And DONUT WAFFLE!! I think I laughed the hardest at that as I have actually screamed that just to mess with people! (Yes, years before I even knew about VN's.) Fantastic work.... And I've gotta say, I'm a sucker for a well written story and damn, you got that in spades!!
That said, I really wanna slap Lockheart for that ending!!! Soooooo..... is the next update ready yet? LOL. Keep up the great work!