Casiope

Member
Nov 30, 2017
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In your previous Q&A, you mentioned that your writing was your weakest point and needs improvement. Since then, how and what did you do to learn and improve?

Without overanalyzing what I write, I analyze the text more during quality assurance these days. I'm focusing on words I use a lot, and I either replace them, delete them or rewrite sentences because of them. I know my writing has improved, my proofreader still manages to find plenty to fix, but he's been happy with the overall improvements lately.

Whenever watching a movie or reading anything, I analyze sentences differently than I did before. I find it fascinating how scriptwriters and authors can string sentences together in ways I wouldn't think of. I draw inspiration from that while trying to expand my vocabulary.

Another thing I do more often these days is deleting sentences that tell too much. In some cases, a sentence doesn't have to be said; the player will understand this without it being there. So, I think "show, don't tell" a lot more when writing and let the player put together the puzzle pieces and draw conclusions from that.
I'm pleased that Dr PinkCake is aware of his writing weakness and is working on it. I was recently rereading some scenes from the first episodes where the same words and phrasing are used by various characters.
It tends to hurt their lines, because no one speaks exactly the same way; we all have language tics, our favorite expressions, our accent. There are those who use emphasis, those who do not finish the sentences, those who abuse interrogative formulas, etc.
I'm not asking for great literature, but a little more impersonation inside the dialogues is welcome.
 
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superdde39

Newbie
Aug 31, 2018
86
57
I read that the upcoming update will be smaller than usual but in terms of what? Is it renders? Animations? Dialogue? Branching paths?
 

ename144

Engaged Member
Sep 20, 2018
3,185
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That's it exactly.
And I just don't think DPC has the bravery to make these two a couple because he needs players to be very interested in Zoey in order to create drama back at B&R when she arrives. Giving her a San Diego boyfriend (current or ex) will cause half the players to check out and just focus on their existing B&R harem. It would be much more DPC-like to make Mr. Baldy gay and just have zoey lez out all over San Diego. Interlude is probably going to be boring conversations about feelings, surfing mini games, and a small measure of scissoring.

DPC has to do something significant to make players become emotionally invested in zoey's arc at B&R. Something to do with Neil? Some new piece of information regarding MC's past? Something completely unforeseen? Don't know, but as it stands right now, the only people who are interested in Zoey are those who just want to fuck a blue-haired tatted chick. I haven't heard any interest in her other than wanting to get some naked time with her. A fuck and forget character right now unless DPC can dial up the drama. Zoey lags far beyond the other LIs who have actually had time for investment beyond jsut lewd scenes.
To be fair, a few people have expressed interest in Zoey as a platonic BFF/confidante. I would probably have been among them if Sage hadn't just proven she's perfect for the role. I'd much rather give the job to Sage (if you aren't on her branch, obviously), which sadly leaves poor Zoey surplus to requirements. :(

I just wish DPC would try to stoke some enthusiasm for the Interlude. Releasing renders is normally a good way to build interest in a new update because we know the characters and their stories, so we can speculate about what the snapshot means. Even a new character at least has a context to fit into. But for the Interlude, we know almost nothing about Zoey and there's no reason to think any of the new characters will be important players. So random pics of Zoey's life doesn't give us much to chew on.

It just reinforces my sense that I want the Interlude over with so we can get back to things I care about, which is exactly the mindset I'm trying to avoid.


This is may favorite Q&A to date.

Part 1 was a bit uninteresting, but these questions were really good and the answers were really quite interesting.

Good to see John Carpenters, "The Thing" is getting a shout out. Best horror movie of all time! :giggle:
Yes, this was actually quite an interesting read. DPC not only addressed OFT's burning house question, he even answered one from me.

Doesn't do much to sell me on the Interlude, but it's something to keep us sane* while we wait.


*relatively speaking
 
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hidden_robot

Member
Jan 7, 2018
112
291
I'm replaying my paths and i have this question in my mind, do you guys think that going for Josy & Maya and Jill on the same path until forced to choose one (EP 8) is going to turn bad in season 3? We don't see the MC "breakup" with Josy & Maya and Jill, so we don't know how they'll handle that.

1346947_preview_7.jpg
 

BeingADikDik

Well-Known Member
Apr 17, 2021
1,962
5,464
I'm replaying my paths and i have this question in my mind, do you guys think that going for Josy & Maya and Jill on the same path until forced to choose one (EP 8) is going to turn bad in season 3? We don't see the MC "breakup" with Josy & Maya and Jill, so we don't know how they'll handle that.

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I think it's possible that Josy and Maya will take it reasonably well if you choose Jill. They'd be hypocrites otherwise.

I'm not sure the reverse would be true. You'd have to break up with Jill, but not tell her for whom since the J+M relationship will likely remain secret for the foreseeable future. Jill might figure it out and cause unintended drama (she's not vindictive, but despite best intentions she's been shown to naively interject).

Perhaps J+J+M like in the Patreon reward if DPC is feeling generous? ... Nah.
 
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AchedCroissant

Conversation Conqueror
May 29, 2020
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I'm replaying my paths and i have this question in my mind, do you guys think that going for Josy & Maya and Jill on the same path until forced to choose one (EP 8) is going to turn bad in season 3? We don't see the MC "breakup" with Josy & Maya and Jill, so we don't know how they'll handle that.

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I don't know :ROFLMAO: and I wouldn't want to be in that situation either :eek:, but what can go wrong? :devilish::ROFLMAO:
 

hidden_robot

Member
Jan 7, 2018
112
291
I think it's possible that Josy and Maya will take it reasonably well if you choose Jill. They'd be hypocrites otherwise.

I'm not sure the reverse would be true. You'd have to break up with Jill, but not tell her for whom since the J+M relationship will likely remain secret for the foreseeable future. Jill might figure it out and cause unintended drama (she's not vindictive, but despite best intentions she's been shown to naively interject).

Perhaps J+J+M like in the Patreon reward if DPC is feeling generous? ... Nah.
You have a point, i was thinking on splitting up those paths at Episode 4, but i'm really curious about how they'll react. I'm more afraid of hurting Maya and Josy then Jill, but, as you said, they should take it lightly.
 

BeingADikDik

Well-Known Member
Apr 17, 2021
1,962
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You have a point, i was thinking on splitting up those paths at Episode 4, but i'm really curious about how they'll react. I'm more afraid of hurting Maya and Josy then Jill, but, as you said, they should take it lightly.
By virtue of the fact that MC continues to date Jill on the J+M+Jill route, Maya knows they don't really have a relationship with MC yet. That's what she meant by 'no strings' - not that she didn't want commitment, but that the commitment should come naturally for it to be meaningful. The act of breaking up with Jill to commit to J+M is big, and might be one of many necessary steps to keep the throuple together.
 
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felicemastronzo

Devoted Member
May 17, 2020
11,075
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I'm replaying my paths and i have this question in my mind, do you guys think that going for Josy & Maya and Jill on the same path until forced to choose one (EP 8) is going to turn bad in season 3? We don't see the MC "breakup" with Josy & Maya and Jill, so we don't know how they'll handle that.

View attachment 1631319
the only breakup that can go wrong is the one with Jill if we have chosed Bella and maybe vice versa.

the other ones i don't see why they should have big consequences. at the end if MC chooses to stay with Jill and leave Maya and Josy, the first one should have a problem? and the other ones even if they have problems, it would be a relative problem. of course the same is valid in the opposite way

I don't see what big recriminations they could have, it will probably be a more emotional breakup than the one with Sage but less angry than the one with Jade
 

PashafromRussia

Well-Known Member
Aug 18, 2019
1,557
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I'm replaying my paths and i have this question in my mind, do you guys think that going for Josy & Maya and Jill on the same path until forced to choose one (EP 8) is going to turn bad in season 3? We don't see the MC "breakup" with Josy & Maya and Jill, so we don't know how they'll handle that.

View attachment 1631319
Most likely a breakup with Jill/JM will be postponed for episode 9 and will become one of the main dramas. If you choose Sage, you don't say anything to J/M either, preferring to say it later. I'm not sure about Jill, because this is my least favorite route. Well I feel shit will happen. Considering how Josy is jealous of Jill (the pool scene, the library scene), there will probably be an explosion. The author does not just focus on the fact that Josy loves MC and he does it several times per game. I assume that through the fault of MC, Josy and Maya will break up.
 
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felicemastronzo

Devoted Member
May 17, 2020
11,075
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Most likely a breakup with Jill/JM will be postponed for episode 9 and will become one of the main dramas. If you choose Sage, you don't say anything to J/M either, preferring to say it later. I'm not sure about Jill, because this is my least favorite route. Well I feel shit will happen. Considering how Josy is jealous of Jill (the pool scene, the library scene), there will probably be an explosion. The author does not just focus on the fact that Josy loves MC and he does it several times per game. I assume that through the fault of MC, Josy and Maya will break up.
something optional can never be the main drama of the story. what can the discarded LIs do when they have already been discarded? a little cry and some guilt, but then friends like before.

the only breakup that could have some important consequence is Bella vs Jill, but that's only because I'm worried about Bella's mental health
 
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Lostanddamned

Engaged Member
Mar 29, 2019
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something optional can never be the main drama of the story. what can the discarded LIs do when they have already been discarded? a little cry and some guilt, but then friends like before.

the only breakup that could have some important consequence is Bella vs Jill, but that's only because I'm worried about Bella's mental health
You know Jill being mad at both Bella and MC even if you never pursued her is a questionably written storyline. You can even say that it's written for the sake of drama.

Her reaction varies if you pursued her or not, but being mad at two close friends of yours (one of which is your best friend) for hooking up is childish.

Bella ending up sad if you pick Jill is at least explainable. Even if you never pursued her, she helped MC whenever she could and was pretty much like a mother to him overall. Even so MC made her open up and brought her wall down and no one ever since probably James was able to do that. And now Jill came and took him away from her. So you could at least form an emotional connection to her reaction. Meanwhile Jill's reaction doesn't make sense at all.
 
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