I don't really see the purpose of nitpicking a porn story, and a lot of the points being made here aren't really that good, just throwing stuff at a wall to see what sticks. What exactly are you trying to prove here, that the story isn't perfect? It's not like you're going to find Shakespeare writing porn for patreon cash. Great writers aren't that easy to find nowadays, especially when entertainment is so saturated with trash writing.
So imagine being this smug about tearing down the writing of an amateur porn VN. Go write your own if you're so knowledgeable about writing, and let the people who like BaD enjoy it, even if the story isn't perfect. And if you have some actual constructive criticism them go bring it up with the writer, because what people are doing here just sounds like "stop liking what I don't like".
Also, what's with people expecting dumb inebriated teens to act like rational fully grown adults? Even most adults don't act in a perfectly rational matter. Having people do dumb stuff isn't "bad writing", it's just people being stupid, as they have been for thousands of years. I guess God is a terrible writer?