I found several English errors. The one I posted made me laugh, because "peon" is not ... wrong. It is incorrect, but it isn't wrong. "Peon" is very rude, especially in person, because it means "worthless peasant" or "a worker who is beneath my notice" like a feudal lord looks down at common people.
The word "peon" originated as someone who a lord "pees (urinates) on" from high above, like out of a window in a castle. The lord does not care about the "peons" below who may get splattered. Also, before toilets were invented, castles had chutes or drops, so when lords went to the washroom, they literally were "peeing" on whomever was at ground level.
Regardless, thank you for sharing the demo. English errors aside, now I don't feel like I am missing part of the story when I play Part 1.
You probably have people on Patreon who can help you with English. If you want my help, I am happy to proofread or edit.