VN Ren'Py Abandoned Birthday Present [v0.96] [Spooky666]

[Cumbledore]

Thanks for the feed back! Is this too messed up? I was planning on adding an intro next. (I wrote it too fast spell check is first) Kinda the wrong order to make a good old slow burn. I can make everyone all enthusiastic but hesitant after a lovely ice cream. I think I have the assets for that.

Not sure if it's too messed up, playing as a rapist has never been my cup of tea so I was kinda blindsided by it since it isn't in the tags. The dialogue though, that's downright unsettling.

 

[whysoserious222]

I'm in luck. petite brunette teenage girls with braces in incestuous relationships with their dads is my fetish

Braces have dads? You mean dentists? Braces in incestous relationships with dentists it's a weird fetish, dude, even for this site.

 

[Noegrets]

Not sure if it's too messed up, playing as a rapist has never been my cup of tea so I was kinda blindsided by it since it isn't in the tags. The dialogue though, that's downright unsettling.

I’m pretty new to this. It wasn’t listed on the tag list, and I just copied the relevant ones from there. But I guess maybe it isn’t there because it’s too creepy and that is just a short list. I didn’t mean to blind side anyone. Thanks again for your feed back.

edit: I must have played that “hard love” game to recently. I don’t imagine myself as the protagonist or that the interaction would happen. The dialog was just trying to tie together renders I have been practicing on. Thought it would be fun to share them with others at f95.

Game was just meant to be fun wank material but I wanted to to appeal to this audience.

If you are interested I will rewrite their interaction so it is more widely appealing. It’s never going to be released anywhere else.

 

[Noegrets]

A little history would be great. How his daughter grows up with him, how he watches her more and more, maybe you flirt a little with her father, MC and the daughter secretly watch each other while showering and other occasions. So work a little more towards the birthday event.

That seems reasonable. Thanks!

 

[MrLakes1579]

Renders looked really good, like amazing for a first timer. I think the freckles are a little too extreme on some of the renders though.

It is pretty damn creepy and out of my wheelhouse, but if you're going to do a quick rapey corruption game it's a damn good quick rapey corruption game.

Don't necessarily know that it needs more story seems pretty short and self contained. If you wanted to do a really sweet romantic scene for your next one to try things out that could be cool, but don't feel like you have to build this into a huge story, just do some more short one offs like this to test your skills out.

 

[Noegrets]

Renders looked really good, like amazing for a first timer. I think the freckles are a little too extreme on some of the renders though.

It is pretty damn creepy and out of my wheelhouse, but if you're going to do a quick rapey corruption game it's a damn good quick rapey corruption game.

Don't necessarily know that it needs more story seems pretty short and self contained. If you wanted to do a really sweet romantic scene for your next one to try things out that could be cool, but don't feel like you have to build this into a huge story, just do some more short one offs like this to test your skills out.

Thanks for the feed back! Glad you liked some renders. I was having trouble with my old rig, so I bought a 12 core amd and it lets me make lots of little corrections if I cancel a render at the second minute to move body parts out of the way. You can see it In Some of the Wrong sized renders where are the original version I canceled has artifacts or flashing which gave me a double for the mini animations.

My other game is very sweet, but I am having trouble with all things renpy. The renpy took longer than the renders and the script. And I know it’s very basic.
I’m getting a lot of ‘that’s too creepy’ feedback. I’ll make some changes to make it palatable, add an intro and an outro and then maybe call it?

 

[Kitchentable]

You get to hung up on the dialog.

The story basically sums up the whole daughter thrope or those japanese (slave) games, you know.
She gets seduced or raped, doesn't like it at first but gets hooked up on and addicted too it. End of story.

Leave the story as it is. Creepy not creepy...meh.

I don't know the history of VNs with adult content (fancy word for porn games)
but if they originate from ancient japan, like I guess they do, than that story is rather vanilla.
And my guess is that most folks started with the japanese VNs, right?

The dialogs need some polishing and the fonts visiblity is an issue but then
again as Spooky666 said it's learning by doing. So by doing more, he'll learn and improve.

Most creative minds are their own worst critic afterall.

And the render are really good for learning DAZ and just messing around on a lazy sunday!

If you already create sweet and romantic stuff and felt like doing something quite the opposite,
like corruption and rape than that's fine.

You put it in the tags and if people can't read the sign above the door and then
want to buy furniture in an ice cream parlor, it is not your fault now, is it?

 

[alex13_zen]

Her face is a little too young for my taste. Would really like it if she actually looked 18.

 

[humanno21]

Slower corruption would be better, and rape is not my thing. Too bad... one more dev that is only focused on renders.
Is it so hard to do some reading on Literotica and put together something more interesting? Game can be short but it doesn't need to be stupid.

 

[Noegrets]

Slower corruption would be better, and rape is not my thing. Too bad... one more dev that is only focused on renders.
Is it so hard to do some reading on Literotica and put together something more interesting? Game can be short but it doesn't need to be stupid.

I actually read ten literotica stories before I wrote this. There was this one where the dad had an amazing penis and while all sex started as, urm surprise sex, everyone ended up loving it. As noted I will make changes.

 

[galora]

Some dialog is hard to read as it's placed right on top of her glaring white forehead other spots as well where the words are placed on her bright white skin making it hard to read. A few backgrounds are invisible some pictures are smaller then the game screen some lines are spoken by daddy instead of the daughter like the line -I don't think I want this is spoken by the daddy instead of the daughter. Some pictures the daughter doesn't seem to have any freckles and other ones she has tan lines and no freckles are where the tan lines are like the really close up picture of her crotch.

Game needs rape tag as this sure as hell isn't no fucking corruption path. With lines like

Spoiler

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Even the pictures are labeled rape.

spooky666

You need to get in touch with site admin and let them know that you are a game DEV so that they can give you the developer tag.

Hahah that spoiler made your point so much I'm laughing out loud... Hahah every response makes it worse! Though the last one might be the corruption part? Hinting towards more corruption being needed to get to glorious anal without raping the little freckled cocktease? Alright that was my rapist joke for the day!

 

[Noegrets]

You get to hung up on the dialog.

The story basically sums up the whole daughter thrope or those japanese (slave) games, you know.
She gets seduced or raped, doesn't like it at first but gets hooked up on and addicted too it. End of story.

Leave the story as it is. Creepy not creepy...meh.

I don't know the history of VNs with adult content (fancy word for porn games)
but if they originate from ancient japan, like I guess they do, than that story is rather vanilla.
And my guess is that most folks started with the japanese VNs, right?

The dialogs need some polishing and the fonts visiblity is an issue but then
again as Spooky666 said it's learning by doing. So by doing more, he'll learn and improve.

Most creative minds are their own worst critic afterall.

And the render are really good for learning DAZ and just messing around on a lazy sunday!

If you already create sweet and romantic stuff and felt like doing something quite the opposite,
like corruption and rape than that's fine.

You put it in the tags and if people can't read the sign above the door and then
want to buy furniture in an ice cream parlor, it is not your fault now, is it?

Thanks for some positive feed back. Means a lot. Really read the f95 room wrong I guess. I will figure out how to change the tags.

 

[MrLakes1579]

Thanks for the feed back! Glad you liked some renders. I was having trouble with my old rig, so I bought a 12 core amd and it lets me make lots of little corrections if I cancel a render at the second minute to move body parts out of the way. You can see it I. Some of the Wrong sized renders where are the original version I canceled which gave the mini animations.

My other game is very sweet, but I am having trouble with all things renpy. The renpy took longer than the renders and the script. And I know it’s very basic
I’m getting a lot of ‘that’s too creepy’ feedback. I’ll make some changes to make it palatable, and an intro and an outro and then maybe call it?

It can be a valid choice to go creepy, especially with corruption. Arguably when you're doing that some people get off on the creepy part. Honestly if you're really into corruption, creepy is part of the draw.

 

[MrLakes1579]

Though with all that said I'm always a little shocked how many people seem to always be pushing for happy marriage and babies sims.

 

[Noegrets]

It can be a valid choice to go creepy, especially with corruption. Arguably when you're doing that some people get off on the creepy part. Honestly if you're really into corruption, creepy is part of the draw.

I thought some people might like it based off my literature review. Doesn’t feel like a wide audience in here.
Buncha white knights who want to fuck their virgin daughter in here I mean I don’t hate that story either. It just wasn’t this story.
Should quit posting for tonight though. I have now spent longer responding to messages than I did on the script. :/

 

[galora]

Alright was extracting the zip, seeing those rape%d.webp files, when I saw v0.51 ... If that's the "not raped but coerced" version this definitely needs that rape tag.
Fun little game, curious to see what you (seem to) have planned... Plenty of problems, none you don't already know about, none that bothered me on such a short demo?/test?
Love the girl... and I'm kind of missing the usual hentai mind break on this site... That worked for me
I'd love to see more... Good job, hope to see you claim that dev tag someday, will be a fun ride

 

[galora]

Just thought about the mother being dead or gone, and again my tastes might have been altered by the hentai mind break scene... But there is something to do with the mother being there and already a slave to the father that is waiting for her 18th to claim her innocence... Bringing other girls that she is friends with "most 18 yo are virgins" that beautiful lie, and building up that harem.

Alright I need to check another website urgently

 

[Alleyway]

In case I was too long-winded before and didn't accurately get the point across, I have zero qualms with the rapier aspects of the narrative. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you feel like romancing in fantasy games, sometimes you feel like -GIMME DAT PUSSY!

Tell the story the way you want to tell it, and if you want to add a softer path, by all means. Just don't make yourself miserable trying to please everyone. (Including me or any of the other creeps.)

 

[Zekewolf]

Really liked the daughter model (I'm a perv, whaddya expect?). The text could use some work, but the basic premise is right up my alley of kink. Maybe cool it with the explicit "eighteen-years" - I realize that it has to be there, but it comes off as maybe too artificial. Maybe mention it once of twice for legality's sake, then keep it as "teen" or "teenage"? I don't know... As long as you're not on Patreon it shouldn't matter, right?
And as other people have said, no problem with the... less consensual... parts. All kinds of stories should be allowed to exist on this board. It's not real life, people!

 

[Noegrets]

Really liked the daughter model (I'm a perv, whaddya expect?). The text could use some work, but the basic premise is right up my alley of kink. Maybe cool it with the explicit "eighteen-years" - I realize that it has to be there, but it comes off as maybe too artificial. Maybe mention it once of twice for legality's sake, then keep it as "teen" or "teenage"? I don't know... As long as you're not on Patreon it shouldn't matter, right?
And as other people have said, no problem with the... less consensual... parts. All kinds of stories should be allowed to exist on this board. It's not real life, people!

I could change to ‘teenage’ if preferred. Writing out eighteen seems to be a bit of a trope on literotica and so I included it. Other games (midlife crisis) allowed custom ages, and I had considered borrowing that code if I can figure it out. you know, for those people who have a thing for Specifically 43 year old daughters or whatever. But seems I might be too hard on the creepy train already for some.

Thanks so much for the like!

edit: should we do some poles? Remove the age? Remove the creep? I can’t believe this has been viewed 7k times already on its first day.