VN Ren'Py Abandoned Bitch Squad [v0.4.7] [IcarusLabs]

[fishbrain]

Hmm.. funny, when I imagine a revenge game I have female protag in mind, but this could work too. I don't know if it will be in the cards but at certain points in the flashback there seemed to be regret on some of their faces, so the idea of turning one of them to help get revenge.. while trusting them would be sketchy as fuck I also want to break their little cliq apart. Ideally would be Annie, but Sarah could work too, they are obviously both followers. I'm not looking for too dark, but as long as no one is being physically harmed they are in for a world of hurt.

One other critique.. you can have a fantastic story, great renders, beautiful characters and settings but a dick that looks plastic will always hold you back. Causes me to run through sex scenes and if the story isn't great it's an auto ignore..

 

[hatefuldisplay]

What? For which character? Look I respect your Fetishes guys. But did you play the game? Incest doesn't make sense. The Dialogs, the setting and the plot wouldn't even work with incest in mind.

I suppose a patch could switch things up a bit with Annie being his sister and having the parents split up and her go live with her mom. I'm not sure how it could possibly work with any of the other characters, but it's not something I put much thought into. I know a lot of people go for it.

I hope that to, i was pretty disappointed with my bully is my Lover. (Because this game is now an Anime with mind reading Ninjas). I hope the bitches have good and strong reason which could make up a path of redemption, like "Clublife". This would add weight on our decision.
The ext thing is the dean. I don't know how it is in America. I have heard that humiliation is some kind of tradition when you start collage. Could the dean become his strongest ally. She can't let it slip.
Maybe the bitches have lost somebody which they wanted as an ally for themselves already

I've never played either of those to relate. Sorry.

As for the dean, she could go either way. I work at a university in the States and we have a very strict "no hazing" policy. This actually led to the cheer leading squad being removed from all events for a semester a few years ago. So much for the eye candy there. Anyway, it's probably still permitted or quietly ignored at a lot of universities and colleges. Probably not to that level though.

What's with Annie, she can't ignore that joke because she wanted that the MC forgot. Now she has no excuses anymore. Because someone uses it against someone, she once loved.

To the seriousness of the revenge. I think they planned something big. Maybe even something good.
Prohibit to achieving their goals would be a good revenge.
Destroying Kate's reputation as an example. Even when it is bad for a lot of people. He can always claim that Kate have created him and that she is the only one to blame.

Annie might have tried to ignore the scope of the MC's bullying to the point that she denied it was a big deal to herself. Maybe she was ushered aside during some of his beatings to keep her blind to it. I think the MC should have brought up the ass kickings and such instead of just saying "it was bad." Details help. Maybe she still wouldn't care or would make excuses. Hard to tell. She did look a bit guilty in the initial scenes before the story unfolded.

Yeah. Kate definitely needs to have her reputation ruined. Unfortunately, she's pretty much a popular politician in a sense. People will ignore the negatives as long as they can.

I don't know if it will be in the cards but at certain points in the flashback there seemed to be regret on some of their faces, so the idea of turning one of them to help get revenge.. while trusting them would be sketchy as fuck I also want to break their little cliq apart. Ideally would be Annie, but Sarah could work too, they are obviously both followers. I'm not looking for too dark, but as long as no one is being physically harmed they are in for a world of hurt.

I hadn't thought of turning Sarah or Annie, but that idea definitely works now that I'm thinking about it. I thought Sarah might end up getting pushed out of the squad at some point for not having interest in doing shitty things moving forward. Who knows? Maybe she just plays the innocent role really well.

Physically harming the squad... Well, maybe a love interest or Amber could lay one out at some point. I wouldn't be opposed to that in any way. Kate wearing sunglasses to homecoming because her eye is swollen shut and cover up can't cover that up...

 

[DanglyBang]

I see sexy choco woman on the plate, I follow. A simple man I am.

 

[Hentaimancer]

I see sexy choco woman on the plate, I follow. A simple man I am.

Same reson for me.

 

[IcarusLabs]

Same reson for me.

Look for more fun with Linda in the next Episode

 

[jish55]

I'll admit to thinking there's something off with Ashley, but I feel that making her and Linda another set of villains may be too cliché, especially as everyone is already seeing her as a "surprise" villain. I also feel that having damn near every girl mc interact with being a hidden member of the bitch squad would just not feel like a viable path.

 

["CJ"]

v0.1.1 Card Game Bug/Bugfix

IcarusLabs with v0.1.1 you added a bug to the card game script. I don't think anyone noticed as no one plays the card game anymore, well, except me. If you play the card game you now run into this error when finishing a round:

Spoiler: traceback.txt

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

I'm no coder so I don't know if this is the correct terminology but in line 68 to 82 of "crazy eight.rpy" the indents are wrong.
I "fixed" the bug by copying said lines from the v0.1.0 script file. I attached the bugfix to this post for those who want to use it until you upload an official bugfix or a new game version. Just copy/extract the content of the archive into the "game" subfolder.

 

[hajkal]

Nice game! The writing seems pretty good and the girls are nice or nicely hateable while the friend character is entreating enough. However, I think it's time for the mc to stop being such a pathetic man. Don't wait too much to make him start having balls. One episode is enough to drive the point and more would become quite tiresome.

To that end, I envision a "Morality Meter" that tracks your choices and determines if you are going down the path of revenge or redemption. Obviously, a revenge path leads you down a darker path with much harsher methods of payback, but both will have critical consequences and impact on the overall story and scenes.

I don't think a morality meter is the way to go for this. I see two problems with it. Firstly, I always find that a point meter ironically limits choice ability. It turns the offered choice from two "valid" outcomes to only one "valid" outcome if you want to see content. In other words, if offered between a choice that gives +1 and a choice that gives nothing, why would you choose the choice that does nothing?

Secondly, what if I find that some of the girls are redeemable while others are not? Having a meter would mean treating the entire group as one which would be kind of disappointing for a game that is aspiring to be about choice and consequences. I think it would be better if the morality meter would be replaced with a flag system that would bar/open path later down the line depending on individual choices. It would also add some weight to the choices offered. If you absolutely want a point system, an individual meter for each girl tracking love and fear/submission points would be better as it would allow for more freedom in how to deal with them.

 

[IcarusLabs]

v0.1.1 Card Game Bug/Bugfix

IcarusLabs with v0.1.1 you added a bug to the card game script. I don't think anyone noticed as no one plays the card game anymore, well, except me. If you play the card game you now run into this error when finishing a round:

Spoiler: traceback.txt

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

I'm no coder so I don't know if this is the correct terminology but in line 68 to 82 of "crazy eight.rpy" the indents are wrong.
I "fixed" the bug by copying said lines from the v0.1.0 script file. I attached the bugfix to this post for those who want to use it until you upload an official bugfix or a new game version. Just copy/extract the content of the archive into the "game" subfolder.

I'll take a look, thanks for the heads up!

 

[fishbrain]

I suppose a patch could switch things up a bit with Annie being his sister and having the parents split up and her go live with her mom. I'm not sure how it could possibly work with any of the other characters, but it's not something I put much thought into. I know a lot of people go for it.

I've never played either of those to relate. Sorry.

As for the dean, she could go either way. I work at a university in the States and we have a very strict "no hazing" policy. This actually led to the cheer leading squad being removed from all events for a semester a few years ago. So much for the eye candy there. Anyway, it's probably still permitted or quietly ignored at a lot of universities and colleges. Probably not to that level though.



Annie might have tried to ignore the scope of the MC's bullying to the point that she denied it was a big deal to herself. Maybe she was ushered aside during some of his beatings to keep her blind to it. I think the MC should have brought up the ass kickings and such instead of just saying "it was bad." Details help. Maybe she still wouldn't care or would make excuses. Hard to tell. She did look a bit guilty in the initial scenes before the story unfolded.

Yeah. Kate definitely needs to have her reputation ruined. Unfortunately, she's pretty much a popular politician in a sense. People will ignore the negatives as long as they can.

I hadn't thought of turning Sarah or Annie, but that idea definitely works now that I'm thinking about it. I thought Sarah might end up getting pushed out of the squad at some point for not having interest in doing shitty things moving forward. Who knows? Maybe she just plays the innocent role really well.

Physically harming the squad... Well, maybe a love interest or Amber could lay one out at some point. I wouldn't be opposed to that in any way. Kate wearing sunglasses to homecoming because her eye is swollen shut and cover up can't cover that up...

My initial reason for wanting to turn Annie is that she was my favorite appearance-wise but the story really did leave it open to the possibility. She seemed to be in denial and that initial act by the squad could let her see that he's not being overdramatic or making things up. Ultimately they were siblings for a while and she does care about him, maybe she grew up and matured past that behavior. I didn't see the Sarah insecurities coming at all but that could be an easy in to humiliating her if that's in the cards. Of the group she seems the most like an outsider and definitely the easiest target, as much as I dislike cliche blackmail in this case we could use it on her to turn her or get her to leak us info. At the same time I'm envisioning one of them leaving the group on their own after which they're targeted and that makes them see the truth and join us in our endeavor.

I didn't mention Ashley but I think something could be up with her too. Could she already be part of the group but spying on the MC to stay one step ahead? Did they get tipped off about their plan to hijack the slideshow so they did it first instead or was that their plan from the jump?

Anyway I did enjoy the story and as disappointed as I was initially learning this wasn't the original Bitch Squad, overall it was still really good and has a ton of potential going forward. We don't get too many unique storylines but this one fits the bill and could be one of the best. Really looking forward to the next update and hoping we're done being targeted, it's about time we start turning the table.

 

[IcarusLabs]

Nice game! The writing seems pretty good and the girls are nice or nicely hateable while the friend character is entreating enough. However, I think it's time for the mc to stop being such a pathetic man. Don't wait too much to make him start having balls. One episode is enough to drive the point and more would become quite tiresome.

I don't think a morality meter is the way to go for this. I see two problems with it. Firstly, I always find that a point meter ironically limits choice ability. It turns the offered choice from two "valid" outcomes to only one "valid" outcome if you want to see content. In other words, if offered between a choice that gives +1 and a choice that gives nothing, why would you choose the choice that does nothing?

Secondly, what if I find that some of the girls are redeemable while others are not? Having a meter would mean treating the entire group as one which would be kind of disappointing for a game that is aspiring to be about choice and consequences. I think it would be better if the morality meter would be replaced with a flag system that would bar/open path later down the line depending on individual choices. It would also add some weight to the choices offered. If you absolutely want a point system, an individual meter for each girl tracking love and fear/submission points would be better as it would allow for more freedom in how to deal with them.

Thanks for the feedback!

The "Morality Meter" that I am envisioning would be an overall attitude that the MC would have. But to your point, each girl would have their own "Relationship" meter beneath that. It would kind of be a point system, but the points wouldn't be visible to the player. Different choices would have greater impact than others.

The purpose of the Morality Meter would be to open up scenes that would otherwise be unavailable. For example, it you spend most all of your time being hostile, you would have scenes and choices available where the MC behaves that way. The opposite being true as well. With each choice, it would involve specific people and the choice you make there, even if it is against your current "Morality", would affect your relationship with that girl individually AND your overall Morality. Your relationship status with each girl also unlocks upcoming scenes. Consequently, some scenes will be unavailable because you have the wrong relationship or morality.

I had to re-read that paragraph a couple of times to see if it made sense .

Think of this example, you could spend all your time being a complete jackass to every girl in the game except for Annie. Your Morality would be set for revenge, but if you treat Annie well with every choice, you would have a good relationship with her.

That is the working plan, I'll need to see how that plays out during development.

Thoughts?

 

[WhY NoT?!]

So far I would say that the plot is interesting, it has the potential for a good high school story.
For the renders, I understand some lack of quality here and there but I don't understand the poor coordination of the eyes in some renders. Maybe in the future, you can improve your work in this area. Also, I don't know how many have seen it but when Ashley is kissing the MC first time it looks like she tries to eat his nose. The lips contour when there is a kiss is way too obvious wrong done.
I don't know if English is your first language or not, but the text has some minor mistakes that can be because of tiredness when you write it or lack of attention. This can be improved in the future as well.
Another problem is the lack of choices for the MC where he can choose which path to go on, and not just simply go blind in forgiving his bullies or accepting to go to parties or shopping. (I am not complaining about it, just saying that a choice would be nice there.) Also, I get it that the MC is a horn dog, probably a virgin... I don't know for sure yet, because I didn't get further in the story (I stopped at Ashley's party to write this) but I don't see how stupid can he be to switch from anger and revenge when talking to Emma to act like a kid in the shop full with candies for free.
I feel like in those situations would be good to be a choice there so everyone can choose which path wants to follow, keep being naive for man up? In the end, the story is about the MC or not?

In the rest keep up the good work and I wish you all the best!

 

[IcarusLabs]

So far I would say that the plot is interesting, it has the potential for a good high school story.
For the renders, I understand some lack of quality here and there but I don't understand the poor coordination of the eyes in some renders. Maybe in the future, you can improve your work in this area. Also, I don't know how many have seen it but when Ashley is kissing the MC first time it looks like she tries to eat his nose. The lips contour when there is a kiss is way too obvious wrong done.
I don't know if English is your first language or not, but the text has some minor mistakes that can be because of tiredness when you write it or lack of attention. This can be improved in the future as well.
Another problem is the lack of choices for the MC where he can choose which path to go on, and not just simply go blind in forgiving his bullies or accepting to go to parties or shopping. (I am not complaining about it, just saying that a choice would be nice there.) Also, I get it that the MC is a horn dog, probably a virgin... I don't know for sure yet, because I didn't get further in the story (I stopped at Ashley's party to write this) but I don't see how stupid can he be to switch from anger and revenge when talking to Emma to act like a kid in the shop full with candies for free.
I feel like in those situations would be good to be a choice there so everyone can choose which path wants to follow, keep being naive for man up? In the end, the story is about the MC or not?

In the rest keep up the good work and I wish you all the best!

Thanks for the feedback! Trying to get better!

Choices are a big part of Episode 2.

 

[Before I Forget]

In my mind, the MC can't start with it all figured out. He needs to go on a journey as well. I see it as him just starting to pick himself up and begin pushing back with a lot of road still ahead of him.

And submission is not planned for the MC.

That's cool, it sounds like the revenge, public humiliation, submission and other stuff will be in the MC's favor.

I don't mind a story where I know the MC is going to get back at assholes who've wronged him, just so long as the entire theme isn't about the MC looking stupid and beta like.

 

[Look-see]

the tags dont seem to say much despite the amount. like blackmail and sub make sense but revenge? in what shape can we take revenge? can MC end up doing BDSM scenes? or will MC go as for as being able to do sleep sex scenes? alot of drinking and parties go down at college so the possibility is there. i think someone asked if Harem was a possibility. im kinda curious how far we can take the revenge.

i wouldnt mind options/route where even if we do have some of the more intense sex scenes it doesnt mean we'll risk losing one of the girls.

 

[Deleted member 3208170]

As for the dean, she could go either way. I work at a university in the States and we have a very strict "no hazing" policy. This actually led to the cheer leading squad being removed from all events for a semester a few years ago. So much for the eye candy there. Anyway, it's probably still permitted or quietly ignored at a lot of universities and colleges. Probably not to that level though.



Annie might have tried to ignore the scope of the MC's bullying to the point that she denied it was a big deal to herself. Maybe she was ushered aside during some of his beatings to keep her blind to it. I think the MC should have brought up the ass kickings and such instead of just saying "it was bad." Details help. Maybe she still wouldn't care or would make excuses. Hard to tell. She did look a bit guilty in the initial scenes before the story unfolded.

Yeah. Kate definitely needs to have her reputation ruined. Unfortunately, she's pretty much a popular politician in a sense. People will ignore the negatives as long as they can.

Yes, hazing was the word I was searching. Something we don't have in my country. At least not have witnessed it ever. It is for sure illegal.

Anyway. As the incident happened, You can see at their faces that Annie and Kate regret what happened and feel guilty.
It is simply too early to tell. Fact is, nobody ever apologized to him. How can be forgiveness, then?

How could the Dean go in either way in your opinion?

 

[Ceesko]

needs Kinetic tag. There are zero choices in the game.

 

[Havik79]

Yeah, that ending makes me more sure now.
1. Ashley is an undercover cunt who ratted us out to get to KKK or whatever that sorority is called.
2. Tommy is working with the girls.
3. It will no doubt be finding out they are just all misunderstood, and them blackmailing us.

I mean come on, this MC is the simp kind, not go out and anal rape them all, or school shooter.

 

[I_Only_Support_Real_Onez]

I want to see annie and sarah explain the fuckery at the freshman orientation. It's like those 2 are the greatest actresses ever or they were super brainwashed to be blind to the bullshit

 

[ben_sylar]

Thanks for the feedback!

The "Morality Meter" that I am envisioning would be an overall attitude that the MC would have. But to your point, each girl would have their own "Relationship" meter beneath that. It would kind of be a point system, but the points wouldn't be visible to the player. Different choices would have greater impact than others.

The purpose of the Morality Meter would be to open up scenes that would otherwise be unavailable. For example, it you spend most all of your time being hostile, you would have scenes and choices available where the MC behaves that way. The opposite being true as well. With each choice, it would involve specific people and the choice you make there, even if it is against your current "Morality", would affect your relationship with that girl individually AND your overall Morality. Your relationship status with each girl also unlocks upcoming scenes. Consequently, some scenes will be unavailable because you have the wrong relationship or morality.

I had to re-read that paragraph a couple of times to see if it made sense .

Think of this example, you could spend all your time being a complete jackass to every girl in the game except for Annie. Your Morality would be set for revenge, but if you treat Annie well with every choice, you would have a good relationship with her.

That is the working plan, I'll need to see how that plays out during development.

Thoughts?

Morality meter combined with a stat for each girl could work, might also limit player choice in other ways, like waiting for the right time. You could make one of the girls like you and suddenly do something nasty for greater impact, but the proposed system might lock you out of such a approach.

I would like to know how the game is gonna look going forward concerning sandbox and/or freeroam. Not a big fan tbh.

Anyway promising start, I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.