VN Ren'Py Broken Promises [v0.38] [Light Cavalry]

[Boehser Onkel]

well Knight_BP

i get if people speak other languages to prevent someone overhear what they talk about
but really? - thinking in other languages?



thats rediculous
btw its not funny at all with all those languages - whats that for?
its distracting , breaks the flow of reading the story and is in no case a funny thing

this game is really good , but this ....

 

[ArmoredCascade]

well Knight_BP

i get if people speak other languages to prevent someone overhear what they talk about
but really? - thinking in other languages?

View attachment 1636985

thats rediculous
btw its not funny at all with all those languages - whats that for?
its distracting , breaks the flow of reading the story and is in no case a funny thing

this game is really good , but this ....

dude, you do realise that there's an English underneath the foran language right?

 

[vogelbeest]

dude, you do realise that there's an English underneath the foran language right?

Well, that's for the readers of the vn, but in real life we're not that far that foreigners are subtitled when they speak a different language so we can safely assume the mc doesn't understand what's being said there.

 

[UncleFredo]

A colleague of mine, who is an American, has a PhD in french literature and speaks fluent french. Usually, when he's speaking french he thinks in french. Sometimes, depending on the topic, he thinks in french and translates his thoughts to American english and vice versa. Another german born colleague is fluent in english and french. He also has similar experiences.

So thinking in a foreign language isn't uncommon among those fluent in it.

 

[ZagorTeNay]

The renders are good, girls/MC likeable and attractive, and story could turn out interesting...but the game goes overboard with personal trauma and monologue. And most goes something like "Oh my, he's just PERFECT!"..that just keeps repeating over and over.
I'd tone it down a bit. Show-don't-tell, and all that.

 

[Cooling Prob]

I love all the bullshit in every ones lives especially the boss cop

 

[FaneGhetambarai]

Well, some info about next update?

 

[The Pie Rat]

You must be registered to see the links

Spoiler: The post Knight made on Patreon.

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[DuckDairyDip]

I can understand it will take more time since now Knight will do the writing too, but I find this to be a net positive as the presentation of the writing was a huge negative to me and how things were handled. Wish Knight the best moving forward.

 

[Havik79]

/Me reads patreon post, /me reads name of game.
Irony.

 

[Bacara]

I can understand it will take more time since now Knight will do the writing too, but I find this to be a net positive as the presentation of the writing was a huge negative to me and how things were handled. Wish Knight the best moving forward.

This might actually encourage me to support the game again, because the original writer wasn't good at all and could not take any kind of criticism.

 

[Knight_LC]

This might actually encourage me to support the game again, because the original writer wasn't good at all and could not take any kind of criticism.

Can’t disagree with you there. I can take criticism just as long as it’s consecutive

 

[Knight_LC]

I can understand it will take more time since now Knight will do the writing too, but I find this to be a net positive as the presentation of the writing was a huge negative to me and how things were handled. Wish Knight the best moving forward.

I’ll edit chapter 1 but the question however is when can I? I’m currently trying to get the next update out but the dialogue of chapter 1 will change that’s for sure.


Now I’d like for you guys to actually give criticism here so I can understand much better why you guys didn’t like the dialogue more. I know monologues from love interests and such will be toned down. Also making the MC more of a man instead of a kid.

 

[Knight_LC]

Just right now I’m kind of in anxious because I’m doing this solo but I have a feeling of relief too. Since even my writer didn’t like how I stepped in and wanted him to change a few things he was too stubborn.

But now I can put my ideas and my original vision of Chapter 1. Granted my writing might not be A class. But I’d he doing it with love of my characters and by experience of playing a lot of AVN’s and understanding how a game is good. Granted I will probably miss the mark a lot or a few times but at least i’m trying

 

[Vidal the king of Pervert]

Just right now I’m kind of in anxious because I’m doing this solo but I have a feeling of relief too. Since even my writer didn’t like how I stepped in and wanted him to change a few things he was too stubborn.

But now I can put my ideas and my original vision of Chapter 1. Granted my writing might not be A class. But I’d he doing it with love of my characters and by experience of playing a lot of AVN’s and understanding how a game is good. Granted I will probably miss the mark a lot or a few times but at least i’m trying

just take your time and relax your fans are here for you

don't forget we family

 

[ATN Develop]

Just right now I’m kind of in anxious because I’m doing this solo but I have a feeling of relief too. Since even my writer didn’t like how I stepped in and wanted him to change a few things he was too stubborn.

But now I can put my ideas and my original vision of Chapter 1. Granted my writing might not be A class. But I’d he doing it with love of my characters and by experience of playing a lot of AVN’s and understanding how a game is good. Granted I will probably miss the mark a lot or a few times but at least i’m trying

No worry mate, all good. it's understandable to be little anxious while your doing it alone.
it's a good thing, from now on you can make game you wanted from beginning. And i think most of us don't really expect "A class" writing(as long as we can understand it's all good )
Good luck with project

and as this pervert said we are family here(kidna of toxic one but anyway)

 

[Rinbael]

Just right now I’m kind of in anxious because I’m doing this solo but I have a feeling of relief too. Since even my writer didn’t like how I stepped in and wanted him to change a few things he was too stubborn.

But now I can put my ideas and my original vision of Chapter 1. Granted my writing might not be A class. But I’d he doing it with love of my characters and by experience of playing a lot of AVN’s and understanding how a game is good. Granted I will probably miss the mark a lot or a few times but at least i’m trying

I think your game will do pretty well anyway since your renders are so good. As long as the story is understandable and doesn't have horrible "engrish" I think it will do fine.

Since you said you are going to cut out most of the inner monologues that already makes the game better to me. I couldn't even get through the last update because of how boring and annoying reading every characters thoughts was to me.

I just hope the MC will actually be the MC and not a side character and hopefully you don't decide to insult me because I don't want to bang the slutty teacher like the other writer did.

 

[Knight_LC]

I think your game will do pretty well anyway since your renders are so good. As long as the story is understandable and doesn't have horrible "engrish" I think it will do fine.

Since you said you are going to cut out most of the inner monologues that already makes the game better to me. I couldn't even get through the last update because of how boring and annoying reading every characters thoughts was to me.

I just hope the MC will actually be the MC and not a side character and hopefully you don't decide to insult me because I don't want to bang the slutty teacher like the other writer did.

Thanks

I honestly think I might just remove all of it the inner monologues, I'm still thinking about it however it's defiently getting a cool down by a lot

I won't insult you, not who I am lol, unless me and you want an insult battle which in that case let's have at it
You'll get the option to tell her off here for good

 

[Rinbael]

Thanks

I honestly think I might just remove all of it the inner monologues, I'm still thinking about it however it's defiently getting a cool down by a lot

I won't insult you, not who I am lol, unless me and you want an insult battle which in that case let's have at it
You'll get the option to tell her off here for good

I think you doing everything could be a blessing in disguise anyway. Obviously it's a lot of work for you but I think it might be easier to form the story since you are both making the renders and writing and planning the story so it will be easier to make everything flow better.

I don't know anything about your ex writer but I'm assuming he has experience writing books but none writing a V.N hence all the obnoxious inner monologues which would be fine in a book but not a V.N where you can actually see renders of the characters so the monologues are not needed.

I'm glad we will get the option to tell her off for good it was one of the things that annoyed me and reading her thoughts destroyed any interest I had in her as well and made her seem like a horrible person anyway in my opinion.

 

[KiichiYakuza]

I think you doing everything could be a blessing in disguise anyway. Obviously it's a lot of work for you but I think it might be easier to form the story since you are both making the renders and writing and planning the story so it will be easier to make everything flow better.

I don't know anything about your ex writer but I'm assuming he has experience writing books but none writing a V.N hence all the obnoxious inner monologues which would be fine in a book but not a V.N where you can actually see renders of the characters so the monologues are not needed.

I'm glad we will get the option to tell her off for good it was one of the things that annoyed me and reading her thoughts destroyed any interest I had in her as well and made her seem like a horrible person anyway in my opinion.

"I'm glad we will get the option to tell her off for good it was one of the things that annoyed me and reading her thoughts destroyed any interest I had in her as well and made her seem like a horrible person anyway in my opinion."
that's the one that was getting off remembering how much she enjoyed getting plowed in the hotel room while her cheating lovers wife was in the next room?