CREATE YOUR AI CUM SLUT ON CANDY.AI TRY FOR FREE
x

Ren'Py Completed Confined with Goddesses [v1.0 Premium + Legacy] [ERONIVERSE]

4.30 star(s) 192 Votes
Discussion Reviews (192)
Dr.Jean Pepper

Dr.Jean Pepper

Member
Aug 7, 2017
269
385
I like the game so far. Love the art and seems like the story is gonna be more than just 1 guy living with a bunch of hot women. Even if it is that simple of a story, as long as its a good one and the art stays good, I don't care
 
Y

yoyomistro

Engaged Member
Jan 15, 2017
2,940
4,035
Marzepain said:
I'm aware the game is a work in progress and I made my remark because it has a lot going for it already and a lot of potential. That actually includes the writing as an expose dumb is a indicative of having thought about the story. It's just the form of the story and the compactness. Writing is hard and writing is rewriting. Creating a story has expansion periods where interesting stuff gets added, but also contraction periods that throw away parts that do not make sense or are too boring.

From a story point of view the action starts right away with a row, a slap and a punch then goes to a scene with a girlfriend, then goes to the house for the actual game. The row and the slap establishes that his stepmother really dislikes him and thus seducing her would be hard. The punch establishes that his father is a bantered, but what use is that? The father is not in the story after that, but I might have missed it. Also only a punch is somewhat unbelievable as an unrestrained aggressive male would have pounded him into submission and a restrained one would have verbally scolded him.
The girlfriend could make sense as an extra mental hurdle to seducing the others, but little loyalty is established so that's not really a problem. Also she is not in the house and currently he can't get to her. Little conflict there I see.

The story so far combined with it's title seems to suggest it's essence is "attractive shy guy gets used by multiple beautiful woman" and the type of game is "Seduce multiple girls in a space".
The current story seems to follow the screenplay theory where first the "normal" situation is shown then some escalating incident would throw the hero into the chaos of the main story except for that the first 2 scenes aren't normal and I as a player expect to see a place where the hero is "confined".
In my view the "Intro" would be the scene of the lock-down and the killer robot emerging. Alternatively the hero could wake up in bed and stumble upon the robot scene when trying to go out. The same goes for stumbling upon the step-mother, running away and then roll the flashback of the row, the slap and then a real dominating pummeling by his dad. Also stumbling on the step-sister, being asked to deliver a message to his "girlfriend to be", him avoiding the robot by, going out of the garden/ out a roof window / crawling via the cellar ( hell even a magic ring or inter-dimensional travel for all I care), then arriving at would be girlfriend, bam, roll girlfriend scene.

It's not that I think that this is the only way to tell the story and the creator of the game is free to whatever he pleases, but a little thought and a little creative tweaking may do the game some good.
Click to expand...
IDK if this game is what you're looking for dude, this guy likes Japanese-style shonen romance tropes, like "Love Hina" or "Girls Bravo" type stuff, IDK much about PUA stuff and their personality profiles. I do believe in personality types and predictable human behavior but from what I know about PUA stuff I wouldn't want to play a game with personality profiles developed from that over the types of characters Eroniverse makes.

The shonen protagonists his characters are based off of are usually overly-self-conscious, somewhat passive guys who either become less passive as the story progresses or some aspect of their personality is revealed to the female characters that renders them more appealing to them. The female characters usually range from shy and conservative (sometimes with a hidden personality type that they are ashamed of) to aggressive and domineering.

But if you feel you have some insights to offer feel free to try to reach him on discord or @ him on Twitter. You're probably not going to get through to him here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Marzepain
Marzepain

Marzepain

Newbie
May 4, 2019
62
49
yoyomistro said:
IDK if this game is what you're looking for dude, this guy likes Japanese-style shonen romance tropes, like "Love Hina" or "Girls Bravo" type stuff, IDK much about PUA stuff and their personality profiles. I do believe in personality types and predictable human behavior but from what I know about PUA stuff I wouldn't want to play a game with personality profiles developed from that over the types of characters Eroniverse makes.

The shonen protagonists his characters are based off of are usually overly-self-conscious, somewhat passive guys who either become less passive as the story progresses or some aspect of their personality is revealed to the female characters that renders them more appealing to them. The female characters usually range from shy and conservative (sometimes with a hidden personality type that they are ashamed of) to aggressive and domineering.

But if you feel you have some insights to offer feel free to try to reach him on discord or @ him on Twitter. You're probably not going to get through to him here.
Click to expand...
Thanks for pointing to the
You must be registered to see the links
manga category, like "
You must be registered to see the links
" or "
You must be registered to see the links
" type stuff. I tried to read up on it and it's
You must be registered to see the links
and
You must be registered to see the links
. Most of my anime and manga knowledge stems from the mid 90ties, so I'm a bit rusty.
I only mentioned the Pandora's box, because of the multiple dimensions it has can be used as a tool for writing differentiated characters. Basing the characters on tropes instead of "real" PUA stuff may be better, because that is what players expect.

Infusing the story with some "reality" is by no means mandatory for a story. It already has some bizarre aspect I find interesting, but I wouldn't mind if all the girls fall to their knees at the first sign of his magic unicorn c*ck. It would be hilarious if some characters took a swan dive at first sight.

My point is mainly about the STRUCTURE of the story. If you compare this to "Space Rescue: Code Pink" both are confined in an area, although one is a house and the other is a spaceship, both have a hero that does stuff and gets girls, although the setting is completely different. Space Resque makes the player stumble upon the backstory, this game force feeds the backstory in a rather wordy manner. In a way my issue is mainly about the ergonomics of the game and somewhat about respect to the player. Respect is rather relative as the game isn't finished and the expectation is that it's ruff.

Maybe I'll reach out to him. The wordiness is just a faze and outlining, in whatever way, would cure it fast. I was kind of hoping I could hint at improvements in a forum, as being direct might be soul crushing. As a rule I admire everybody who is trying to create something even if it's not up to par jet.
 
  • Like
Reactions: yoyomistro
Y

yoyomistro

Engaged Member
Jan 15, 2017
2,940
4,035
Marzepain said:
Thanks for pointing to the
You must be registered to see the links
manga category, like "
You must be registered to see the links
" or "
You must be registered to see the links
" type stuff. I tried to read up on it and it's
You must be registered to see the links
and
You must be registered to see the links
. Most of my anime and manga knowledge stems from the mid 90ties, so I'm a bit rusty.
I only mentioned the Pandora's box, because of the multiple dimensions it has can be used as a tool for writing differentiated characters. Basing the characters on tropes instead of "real" PUA stuff may be better, because that is what players expect.

Infusing the story with some "reality" is by no means mandatory for a story. It already has some bizarre aspect I find interesting, but I wouldn't mind if all the girls fall to their knees at the first sign of his magic unicorn c*ck. It would be hilarious if some characters took a swan dive at first sight.

My point is mainly about the STRUCTURE of the story. If you compare this to "Space Rescue: Code Pink" both are confined in an area, although one is a house and the other is a spaceship, both have a hero that does stuff and gets girls, although the setting is completely different. Space Resque makes the player stumble upon the backstory, this game force feeds the backstory in a rather wordy manner. In a way my issue is mainly about the ergonomics of the game and somewhat about respect to the player. Respect is rather relative as the game isn't finished and the expectation is that it's ruff.

Maybe I'll reach out to him. The wordiness is just a faze and outlining, in whatever way, would cure it fast. I was kind of hoping I could hint at improvements in a forum, as being direct might be soul crushing. As a rule I admire everybody who is trying to create something even if it's not up to par jet.
Click to expand...
I personally like his storytelling style, independent of any nostalgia from his narrative approach and my appreciation for 2000's shonen manga. I'm not too particular about fetishes/narrative styles as long as there aren't any cumbersome game systems implemented, and Eroniverse has never had an issue on that front. Anyway, the backstory is reliant on the context of a narrative that's allegorical to the current real world pandemic. So in addition to being based on a comic book style (which all of his previous games have been as well), it relies on establishing a context that mirrors current events to create the structure within which the game systems exist.

If you've read/played any of the other games on here that mimic some aspect of the Japanese shonen style such as Ecchi Sensei or Waifu Academy, you'll see that they rely on heavy contextualization as well. He's a big boy I'm sure he can handle criticism, but keep in mind that this is his fourth game and he has an audience, so he has an established fan base that appreciates his narrative style already and any feedback you might have to offer is going to be filtered through that context.

EDIT: Also some of the tropes you linked are more oriented to action shonen, while the manga I pointed out are romcom shonen. While there are a lot of overlaps, there are some key differences, one of the major ones being romcom protagonists are usually more passive and have a bit more social insight except when they are hindered by their own self-consciousness.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Marzepain
R

Ratnedalu

Active Member
Jan 11, 2018
702
680
... Review your dialogues please. It's not even engrish, it's just really bad typing. I think every single update has had "honry" in it instead of "horny" at least once.

Edited to fix, ironically, a typo.
 
X

Xanatos

Member
May 6, 2019
141
344
It looks great, wish there was a bit more to the updates but I'm definitely into the art style and can't wait to see more.
 
Ginyu6789

Ginyu6789

Well-Known Member
Apr 9, 2018
1,274
454
so anyone else think that Zoe isnt at her "uncles" and is instead cheating on mc
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
4.30 star(s) 192 Votes