Hello there, been ages since I've last played, and it seems I'm fking terrible at this game once again.
I remember really liking this game once I got used to it, but It's difficult getting back into it.
Could someone give me Tech Tree guidelines (order of what to spend EE on)
As well as how to actually get super high angst + breaks?
My first goal is a char with
Core Morality and Innocence
Minor Confidence
Significant Dignity.
When it comes to the tech tree there are 4 main goals you want to work towards, well 4 + a sub goal making 5.
1 - Get all the 1 and 2 EE Cost upgrades, you basically cant do anything without them. Also once you get all of them start using 4 turn duration - 2 capture commanders. Ideally you'll want your first 4-2 Commander used on Day 12, as without items Day 12 is the earliest day you can do it assuming you get 1 EE from every Chosen the day they arrive.
2 - Get Networked Consciousness, this will make your surrounds significantly stronger and is one of the bigger gates to bigger surrounds, as it allows a 4 turn surround on a second Chosen (from a 4-2 commander) to target every circumstance while still having time to re-surround the first Chosen and benefit from FEAR openings (you can use a 5-2 commander, but that is 7 EE vs 5 EE and having to take an extra turn can result in the extermination ending before you can re-surround the first Chosen, giving you 1 less surround for the fight). The upgrade path for this is, after the 1-2 cost EE upgrades: Lust, Anger, Hunger, Human Collaborators, Casual Projection, and Dominance, for a total of 49 EE and should ideally be gotten no later than day 20.
3 - This is that sub goal I mentioned, after getting Networked Consciousness is around the time you'll want to start picking up extra commander upgrades and evacuation/extermination limit increases when you have the extra EE to afford them and actually make use of them.
By this point you're basically set for much of the mid-game until you start throwing around Defiler/Suppressor Commanders.
4 - Reality Sealing, this is good for doing something useful in the downtime in a battle, like in the opening turns when using a commander with some combination of suppressors/defilers/punishers which makes it so you cant do anything until other Chosen arrives, or when doing an Orgy before the extermination finishes for the same reason. It also gates off one of the Punishers and Resolve attacks, and Antipathy which is super useful for if you've made the Chosen hate each other. When you get this really doesn't matter as much as Networked Consciousness as you wont get tons of use out of it until fielding those aforementioned commanders or Orgies, but it is worth working towards, especially since most of the prerequisite upgrades are commander upgrades you'll want to pick up anyways.
4a - This is more a note than anything, but while you can be a bit more relaxed with getting Reality Sealing in Loop 1, in later loops when you'll have Forsaken it's better to try getting this sooner after Networked Consciousness as Forsaken fall in the same category of commanders with suppressors/defilers/punishers that leave you with nothing to do for the first several rounds.
5 - At this point all that's really left is the late game upgrades like Punishers and Trauma+ attacks, and that point in the loop is pretty variable based on the exact team of Chosen, so there really isn't any upgrade advice given beyond working towards the Punishers for the T4 Breaks you're working towards and the associated Trauma+ attacks, and pick up Antipathy and/or Empathy based on how much the Chosen hate and/or love each other.
As for your current goal, if you're struggling to break her with a 4-2 Commander just hold off on breaking her and focus on other Chosen.
For extra help here are 3 guide posts I've written:
early game guide,
explanation of some mechanics and slight expansion to guide,
very basic explanation of loop 1 item picks.