- May 16, 2017
- 2,631
- 9,901
i just added the mind control tag thanks for telling me it was missing
- Thread starter Fallen Angel Productions
- Start date
wait so there is mind control wow i only guest there will be in the game because of vampire
- May 16, 2017
- 2,631
- 9,901
- Oct 29, 2019
- 435
- 427
hey the only game i coded before was a block race game that only go one way and you can dead if you hit a wall so making a renpy seem like hard thing i guest you dont make the people but if you did you do a good job with the 3d maker and if i was you i will keep backup if every ver on a hard disk so if i error find on a newer ver and you dont know how to fix check past code and new code but that what i will do because my memory not the greatest only dream the only thing i re memory no matter what and i will add other language to increase the number of player using google translate and having the player help with fixing the language if google translate make a mistake i guest when you add the patch you need to set it up so if you change language even if patch in English it fix it in the game
- May 16, 2017
- 2,631
- 9,901
i will do that and if any people want to translate the game they can once it's finished send it to me and i'll add it to the op
- May 16, 2017
- 2,631
- 9,901
I know some people are a little disappointed that this version was so short this is my first game and i just started coding so I wanted opinions about how I did and how the game is
Since you asked for opinions -
Art looks solid - not the same 5 girls you see in 2/3 of the games here. And my first impression when I saw Mom was that she was baked - so when it came out she was tired, it completely fit. That kind of expressivity doesn't always come off well, but it did here.
On the text - if I see a guy yawning, I don't need an omnipresent narrator to tell me the character "yawns" - "<yawn!>" is better. My larger point: let character dialog and thoughts tell the story or let narration tell the story - but mixing and matching grates on the mind. Read a few reviews - writing is important, and that also means writing style is important. A second person narration (you do this) mixed with first person thoughts (I wonder what she's doing) mixed again with omnipresent/godlike narrator (informing the player that a visibly yawning character "yawns" rather than quoting him) - all that stuff detracts from a quality gaming experience, and/or a quality game fapping experience.
I'd also suggest that intro paragraph should be discovered in-game, not informed by narrator. And did I read in the opening paragraph about "using your powers" without any mention of having powers in the first place?
Finally - build up some character development. Establishing the resentment is something that can be built, rather than hitting us over the head with it as if it were a hammer. Patient pacing draws players in for the long haul - again, this concept is expressed in a lot of reviews. Pacing and character depth is as important as writing.
Promising start on some levels. A little narrative tweaking and you could have a strong contender.
There are reason I wait several releases before I will think about supporting a game. This has all of them. Low content, bad script, unknown developer and lack of story line.
Being an unknow developer is not bad, being an unproven would be more like it. I find a lot of new developers start out then fizzles within the first 6 months.
If you had a story line more than likely you would not have published before getting the first part/chapter done you are also asking for guidance for the story line. Which shows no story line is developed. Before even starting the VN or game you should have almost the whole thing planned out. This does not mean that you are not going to have changes in it later. It just means you'll have certain goals you will want to try for and a map to get there by.
Hopefully this will be a VN and not a game. Anyone thinking about doing a Renpy game or novel first try should be a VN and not a game. This helps gets the basics down with very little rewrites having to be done. To many times have I seen a new developer try and make a game and have eye in the sky thoughts only to see them crash and burn then abandoned because development is either slow or several redo had to occur. Do VN and get the basics.
Bad scripts.. Hmm.. We'll I like a lot of Renpy games that have bad scripts so to say a bad script is bad thing not really but at least give a bit more thought to the script. Why do they do thy do what they and when they think or say something is the time they are thinking or saying is it at the appropriate time. Case in point he is already thinking of his Mom as a Slut that he can easily make his. Is that the right time for it. He doesn't even know he is a Vampire and I am assuming that being a Vampire or more likely part vampire the reason for Daywalker is what gives him the belief or ability to make her his.
So think about your timing and reason for any thoughts and/or events.
Also a good story builds on it self. This is very short and what I saw looks like your trying to go straight to the center of the story/game.
Think of the game like when cooking a recipe. You decide what you want to cook. What ingredients you need. How are you going to cook and then how are you going to serve it. So you go out and shop for the ingredients, prep and combine the ingredients, cook the ingredients and finally server the meal to the satisfaction of the guests or customers. Basically I am saying is plan it out. So far this is like your trying to server before very many ingredients have been bought and no preparation or cooking has occurred.
"Can't believe how much of a slut she is, she is going to be easy to claim." this should not occur so soon, it is like serving up potatoes before the meat has been cooked.
All Renpy games are the same and there is a reason for it, The Renpy program is a visual novel program. The game aspect is nothing more than the ability for the application to give multiple branch story telling or endings. Before doing a VN or Renpy game someone should understand writing an entire story first then adapting it to Renpy. If you have the story first the game will be much easier. So look online for how to write a good story first then try again.
But some of the ingredients you have are my favorites - incest, pregnancy, sex pregnantcy and I am sure curruption, mind control and male domination.
Being an unknow developer is not bad, being an unproven would be more like it. I find a lot of new developers start out then fizzles within the first 6 months.
If you had a story line more than likely you would not have published before getting the first part/chapter done you are also asking for guidance for the story line. Which shows no story line is developed. Before even starting the VN or game you should have almost the whole thing planned out. This does not mean that you are not going to have changes in it later. It just means you'll have certain goals you will want to try for and a map to get there by.
Hopefully this will be a VN and not a game. Anyone thinking about doing a Renpy game or novel first try should be a VN and not a game. This helps gets the basics down with very little rewrites having to be done. To many times have I seen a new developer try and make a game and have eye in the sky thoughts only to see them crash and burn then abandoned because development is either slow or several redo had to occur. Do VN and get the basics.
Bad scripts.. Hmm.. We'll I like a lot of Renpy games that have bad scripts so to say a bad script is bad thing not really but at least give a bit more thought to the script. Why do they do thy do what they and when they think or say something is the time they are thinking or saying is it at the appropriate time. Case in point he is already thinking of his Mom as a Slut that he can easily make his. Is that the right time for it. He doesn't even know he is a Vampire and I am assuming that being a Vampire or more likely part vampire the reason for Daywalker is what gives him the belief or ability to make her his.
So think about your timing and reason for any thoughts and/or events.
Also a good story builds on it self. This is very short and what I saw looks like your trying to go straight to the center of the story/game.
Think of the game like when cooking a recipe. You decide what you want to cook. What ingredients you need. How are you going to cook and then how are you going to serve it. So you go out and shop for the ingredients, prep and combine the ingredients, cook the ingredients and finally server the meal to the satisfaction of the guests or customers. Basically I am saying is plan it out. So far this is like your trying to server before very many ingredients have been bought and no preparation or cooking has occurred.
"Can't believe how much of a slut she is, she is going to be easy to claim." this should not occur so soon, it is like serving up potatoes before the meat has been cooked.
All Renpy games are the same and there is a reason for it, The Renpy program is a visual novel program. The game aspect is nothing more than the ability for the application to give multiple branch story telling or endings. Before doing a VN or Renpy game someone should understand writing an entire story first then adapting it to Renpy. If you have the story first the game will be much easier. So look online for how to write a good story first then try again.
But some of the ingredients you have are my favorites - incest, pregnancy, sex pregnantcy and I am sure curruption, mind control and male domination.
- Feb 12, 2019
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- 2,041
I'm am of the ones who are not disappointed. I never play first release on any game but given the story, description, and tags. The excitement that i have for the future of this game is beyond most second update release of games. Don't get discoraged there are people like me routing for you.
- Aug 20, 2018
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- 3,965
- May 16, 2017
- 2,631
- 9,901
sorry I'll add it in I was in a little rush making this thread because it's new years so very busy thanks for letting me know
- May 16, 2017
- 2,631
- 9,901
- Aug 20, 2018
- 1,553
- 3,965
There is nothing to be sry abt!
and I do like the hot mama in this game...Best of luck
- May 16, 2017
- 2,631
- 9,901
thank you and to let you know there will be 2 milfs in the first releaseThere is nothing to be sry abt!
- Aug 20, 2018
- 1,553
- 3,965
- Aug 11, 2018
- 160
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not worth the time to download it yet, looks ok, but probably need to wait for a year.. so you have something to play...literally 3 minutes or less...